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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsmac123 View Post
    Porkypies glad to hear surgery went well did you get away without the big cut and staples? It sounds positive for you in the future. I hope you are not in too much pain and feeling ok emotionally. I hope you are able to rest and not rush to work and your partner doesnt mind being a bit of a nurse. Mine put a new dressing on for me tonight. Will you try again asap?

    Staples came out for me yest and I feel a bit better around the belly when rolling in bed and such. DH went back to work today and I think I did have a bit of separation anxiety, worrying about being alone, I know its pretty irrational.

    The legal advice I have is basically the tube was worth nothing, I need to be able to prove I could have conceived normally with it...how convenient it is gone so it cantbe proven..so the fact I have had EP before goes against me...not evidence that they didnt pay attention to my history... I didnt die so nearly dying means nothing, these cases go on for a few years therefore any compensation would be eaten up by fees ... see a psychologist. I can get into one in 9 days. I also need to be careful what * I* say about them in case i get sued.

    All is not lost as I knew it was a long shot doesnt mean it is not unfair and the solicitor agreed but its the way it goes....there is a medical complaints/mediation mob that will go through a process of face to face meetings between all parties seeking explanations and apologies and reviews of procedures with patients involved. While youcant get compensation, pain, suffering, trauma you can sometimes get reimbursements....not sure if this includes loss of income. At any rate I really just have wanted to know why it was missed and for them to be sincerely sorry and be forced to stop and think about what it has done to me and my husband. It is not fair for them not to have to in some way think about the human consequences of what they can do to a person in a few 15 min appointments. I never had any concept myself of what it is like during and after almost dying and the wierdness afterwards. My life in general feels strange, my home feels strange, but i know its me that is strange. I hope that it just slips back to normal.

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    I got keyhole surgery, so I have 3 entry points in my abdomen, one to my left, one in my belly button & one quite low near my pubic bone. I totally understand your feeling of being 'strange.' I've spent most of today in bed crying wondering how this happened. I thought I was coping okay, but after all it's said and done, after all family and friends well wishes, life goes on & we HAVE to put ourselves back together. I feel incredibly empty. My DP went back to work today, but thats only 5 minutes from home & he came home for lunch. My Mum has been looking after DD and taking her to daycare, its been hard not to pick her up!

    I think it's awful that they are saying you have to prove your tube was working normally in order to receive some kind of compensation. Regardless of that, they put you emotional & physical pain when the fact is they should have been monitoring you more closely! I really sincerely hope that mediation gets you at the very least an apology. It frustrates me that my GP was assuring me my pregnancy was viable after all of my questioning, so I can only imagine how violated you must feel. It's scary to realise we put our lives in the hands of these people, and they do get it wrong! So wrong that it nearly costs a life.

    I think we will TTC in a couple of months, we are going to take some time to re-evaluate our plans. I am terrified of falling pregnant again, and will need to get my head around that first. If you don't mind me asking, each pregnancy have you been hesitant in those first few weeks? I know myself, and I know I'll spend the first 3 months stressing out endlessly. Are you still going to try? Please don't give up xx

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  2. #32
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    So sorry to hear your story mrsmac & everyone else's. I can't believe you had previous history of ectoptics and they let you get to that point of almost loosing your life.

    I had a ectoptic about a year ago, and the gp just had no care, it was just a wait and see game even though I knew something was wrong and kept requesting more tests or even a ultrasound. 3 weeks of weekly blood tests showed very slow rising HCG levels, first one was a 7! gp said they couldn't even say if I was pregnant or not! So because it was unknown, I kept it to myself so not to bother my partner as it was unplanned and had 3 more blood tests weekly then told to come back again in a week for another but it ruptured a day later. I was at home with my toddler and partner at work and it wasn't the best phonecall considered I'd left him in the dark. I had keyhole surgery and lost a tube. Recovered really well and was doing housework days later. Emotionally, I don't think I dealt with it, just pushed it out of mind. Previously to that ectoptic, I had a IUGR bub and a blighted ovum.

    Am currently halfway through a healthy so far pregnancy so I'm very thankful for that. Just wanted to pop in and share my experience, and I really hope that you have a good outcome in the future, be kind to yourself and keep pushing for answers. This should not of happened to you for the third time. It's not acceptable.

    All the best in the future x

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  4. #33
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    In reading all your posts and things I have read in the past, and my own personal experience it just reiterates to me how important it is to follow through with the process of getting them to review how it happened. Ok so in my case they caught 2/3 of my ectopics which yes is the majority, however the fact that it was the last one that ruptured is what appalls me. I suppose everyone's cases are looking back in hindsight but it seems to me that they mostly seem to have symptoms/signs that indicate something was wrong. A wait and see approach when someones life is involved is dreadful. I think these days death is rare but its a hell of a thing to get through at the best of times. Weekly blood tests are in my opinion not enough you can catch a problem with 48 hourly blood tests. Seeing a mass on ones ovaries and nothing in the uterus again is a good sign something is going on. I recall this being the case in my 1st and 2nd. In my case this last time from what I have been able to gather so far the sonographer concentrated on the wrong side...for a start...going on to me about how he reckons i had ovulated from the side I had no tube...the doctor told me its common to ovulate from both sides... but I dont recall him spending any time on the other side.....he...or rather the radiographer who did the report is probably more responsible for reading the pictures though...had mistaken a blood clot in my uterus for a collapsing gestational sac filled with blood. I am also hearing that this is common...to have something in the uterus while in the tube....all it indicates to me that instead of being so certain in a report "no ectopic, collapsed gestational sac viewed, missed abortion" therefore go home should not be so final they should not be so confident in their findings.

    After all this I speak to my father yesterday who says to me...are you sure you want to go through with the complaints/apologies/reviews/mediations process you will just be flagged as a troublemaker and get even worse care? I was like...what? You mean they will kill me this time or leave an instrument inside me? You mean I just say nothing and go on like nothing happened? Part of why I want to do it is to force them to look at what went wrong so it does not happen again. I have been trying to look at what my father says and I cannot comprehend that he does not have an issue with his daughter nearly dying. Having said all that I won't be doing anything for a couple of weeks because of my deadlines so who knows how I will feel in a couple of weeks I may just want to walk away and just have nothing to do with that clinic again and get on with the things I need to do and leave the sadness behind.

    Porkypies, it is a good thing that you had the smaller cuts as you will find you will recover physically much sooner it does however not make the rest any easier. I had the nurse removing my staples the other day compare it to a ceasarian scar, there is just one problem, I lost 2 things and nearly died..not gain a new baby.....to me its not the same...I think this time my scar is much bigger anyway. It is good you already have a child that you can see comfort and light in. As for having another baby. You will always be apprehensive, I would say given this last experience of mine and how I had 2 scans both claiming the pregnancy was in my uterus and the surgeon saying it is common to be pregnant, have fluid/blood clots in the uterus mistaken for sac early on when in fact it is up in the tube that if you have past history to not relax and remain vigilant with blood tests. Scans, well I dont trust them at all...yes in most cases it seems ok but.... I know unless your tubes are filled with fluid they cannot see them in a scan, I also know that given the age of a ruptured embryo..and having asked years ago...they have heartbeats even in tubes so this doesnt mean its in the right place either. Its the uncertainty of early pregnancy. For me...i have never had a successful pregnancy so I think my whole pregnancy if I ever get past 8 weeks will be stressful. I have not given up trying to have a baby, I have a gyno appt today I made before all this drama so half the reason I was going is not relevant now...ultimately though...since I have no tubes...IVF is my only option. Porkypies I have a great psychologist and these days you can get a referral from a gp to see one for 7 visits for no cost...keeping in mind I had to wait 6 weeks to get in the first time once you are in then its easier. I will be going to see mine next week. I think its normal for you to be miserable and dont feel like you shouldnt be and also dont forget...your hormones will be taking a dive right now as well...pregnant to not pregnant. Hug to you...I am here

  5. #34
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    To those who have this surgery, how much bleeding should I expect post laparoscopy? I am not really bleeding in between bathroom trips but there is ALOT when I go to the toilet, TMI but it turns the bowl bright red. I saw my GP who said to keep an eye on it & if I have to change my pad hourly then go to hospital as I might have an infection. There is just so much blood when I go it's freaking me out!
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  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by PorkyPies View Post
    To those who have this surgery, how much bleeding should I expect post laparoscopy? I am not really bleeding in between bathroom trips but there is ALOT when I go to the toilet, TMI but it turns the bowl bright red. I saw my GP who said to keep an eye on it & if I have to change my pad hourly then go to hospital as I might have an infection. There is just so much blood when I go it's freaking me out!
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    Mine was really heavy for the first couple of days and it freaked me out (changing pad every couple of hours). It then lightened off and lasted about 7-10 days from memory. Hope it settles soon x

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  8. #36
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    Guess its related to loss of pregnancy not surgery. This time around I had very little for first couple of days then fairly heavy then dropped off again.,,its been very all over the place...I had a day or 2 of pretty bad cramping too where I had to take something and stay in bed... day 10 all the sudden got some big clots I only remember as I had been sitting in a really uncomfy chair for an hour waiting for staple removal. Today day 14 and nothing but it still feels bad so im not sure its over.

    I try to think of it like you should at least expect a period as you missed at least one and a bit more as your lining would have grown from being pregnant for a while. Personally I usually use tampons so using a pad in times like these can freak you out I think but I did notice the loo changing colour it is worrying...I would say use your intuition give it a few days...its prob like a MC just the embryo gone.

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  9. #37
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    How are you Porkypies?

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  10. #38
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    Doesnt seem like anyone is still around but anyway im hoping to start ivf this coming week so long as my scan looks ok...my movement has improved...not back to full heavy exercise yet I still have a few mental problems but I have to get on with it my eggs are getting older as I speak...it was 5 weeks last fri...got first af on thurs so pretty good going oldbody. One of the docs involved has been trying to contact me but im not sure yet if I will respond

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  11. #39
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    I'm so very sorry for what you endured. I've only had one ectopic where they saved my tube and I was very screwed up for quite a while. It was the hardest of my 3 losses. Truth be told I still shed tears for the baby I lost almost 2 years ago.

    I really hope IVF is successful for you hun. No one should have to endure 3 EP's and lose both tubes I'm sending good vibes to you that you are pg soon

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    mrsmac123  (11-03-2014)

  13. #40
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    thinking of you Hun. Best of luck for a happy healthy pregnancy x

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