My DSS (17) got his learner's permit just before Christmas.His mum (whom he lives with) has so far not contributed anything towards DSS learning to drive - we even paid for his permit. He wants a manual licence and we both have automatic cars, so he's doing some odd jobs around our place in exchange for us paying for some lessons through a driving school.
DH has mentioned about getting him a car once DSS has his licence. DH's parents gave him $500 to buy a car when he was a teenager himself, so he feels it's what he should do for his son. $500 might have picked up an okay first car in the 80's - but these days you'd be lucky to find something decently safe and reliable for under $2k! We currently have quite a few debts (new house, paying off wedding and car loan, plus IVF) so simply don't have the spare cash laying around. We are coping fine financially with paying off the debts we currently have, but our income will be dramatically reduced soon as I will be going on maternity leave for 6 months, so I am not willing for us to take on further debt for something I don't count as necessary.
We're expecting our first baby together in about 8 weeks, and even though we're sticking to a strict budget to get prepared, I think DH is having guilty feelings about spending money on one child and not another. He also has another son who will expect to receive the same as whatever his brother gets in monetary value (he isn't able to drive due to an intellectual disability, but loves having money to spend on "stuff").
Has anyone got any suggestions about juggling kids wants and needs financially, particularly when there is such an age gap, without any of them feeling like they're missing out??