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  1. #31
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    We had some. Absolutely no visitors whilst I was in labour or straight after. We said we would let family know when we went to hospital & when bub arrived & when we were happy to have visitors (that afternoon, DD arrived in the early hours of the morning). MIL wanted to be waiting at the hospital but respected our wishes as did everyone else

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  2. #32
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    Thanks for the replies everyone!
    It has given me a lot to think about. Originally I thought it'll be good to have both of our parents visit while I was in hospital, but they had to be gone once I got home and no more visits for at least 2 weeks. After some thinking I realised I would want my Mum there to help for the first few weeks, but felt it would be unfair to the ILs if I allowed my Mum to visit and not them. Both sides of the family live 2-3hrs away, which means they'll have to stay in our spare room for a few nights. I know if the ILs stay they'll expect me to play hostess, whereas Mum would help out a lot more. It's a tricky situation!

  3. #33
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    We didn't want anyone waiting at the hospital while I was in labour, I wanted to tell our parents when we went to the hospital though so if dh needed some support that we could call one of them in. We told our immediate family when I was told I was being induced the next day/gel that night but reminded them it could still mean 24 hours of labour. I got cuddles straight after birth but half hour of waiting my placenta wouldn't detach naturally so I ended up in theatre and then recovery. So dh wasn't alone we said parents were able to come in and siblings when I got back in room for a short visit. Birth was at 2.30pm though so this was easy, a middle of the night birth we would have prob made them wait until afternoon visiting hours and only had family the first day. Next time we will have dd to introduce and I want to be there for that.

    The next day we had about 20 visitors, and I was pretty beat afterwards. So next time I think I'll spread them out a bit more. The few days after we're nice with a few visitors but not an overflowing room for hours.

  4. #34
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    I asked my mother and anyone who wanted to visit the babies to get their whooping cough up to date. At the time whooping cough was everywhere, and a dad had unintentionally brought it onto the ward at the mat hospital, so there were mothers and babies, (one recovering from a c/section) quarantined and fighting whooping cough. It was very scary.

    No one had any resistance.

    I also had a no visitation in hospital rule, my mother was allowed (our only family near us anyway). But friends waited until we were back home.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by frido View Post
    Thanks for the replies everyone!
    It has given me a lot to think about. Originally I thought it'll be good to have both of our parents visit while I was in hospital, but they had to be gone once I got home and no more visits for at least 2 weeks. After some thinking I realised I would want my Mum there to help for the first few weeks, but felt it would be unfair to the ILs if I allowed my Mum to visit and not them. Both sides of the family live 2-3hrs away, which means they'll have to stay in our spare room for a few nights. I know if the ILs stay they'll expect me to play hostess, whereas Mum would help out a lot more. It's a tricky situation!
    We really needed support out of hospital OP & were so thankful for our parents. No one stayed over but do give yourself some flexibility as you may find you need the extra pair of hands. Or even just some reassurance from those that have been there, done that. If they stay, get them working! Our parents cooked for us, did our washing etc & it really made a difference - we we're frazzled with a continuously crying baby. Even just allowing us to go for a 10min walk together in the evening to destress was a god send.

  6. #36
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    No rules. We only let our parents know immediately after the births (except MIL who knew when I was in labour the second time as she had to come over to get in the spare bed to mind DS) and then sent out a group text several hours later. I was happy for visitors.

    Once we got home though we had a rule that people had to wash their hands with alcohol hand wash before coming in (DS was born in that swine flu season and I was paranoid) we had a sign on the door and a bottle of handwash on the table in the entry way.

  7. #37
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    We had no visitors for 24 hrs after DS was born. He was born at 9.30pm, we rang our parents to let them know about an hour later - they didn't know I had gone into labour.

    I like visitors though, and none of our family or close friends would ever turn up unannouced, I would get a text asking if it was a good time to visit etc. And most friends try and leave their kids at home which helps as well.

  8. #38
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    I had no rules, but will this time. No visitors on day three. The three day blues hit me like a tonne of bricks and my milk hadn't come in so DS was very hungry and screaming. I hadn't showered yet (emergency c section) and was waiting for the midwives to come help me when BIL's gf turned up. I was sweaty, miserable and just wanted to clean up and rest. I don't much like BIL's gf at the best of times so I was really angry she hadn't asked to come first (most people texted DH) I have since realised she doesn't have the same social respect that most people do and needs to be told explicitly!

  9. #39
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    Last edited by Liddybugs; 27-04-2014 at 20:43.

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  11. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachell View Post
    I had a rule of just me and my husband, my mum had said she would come up when we wanted her too but told me she would rather not see me in labour as she wouldn't be able to handle seeing me in pain
    My inlaws were very upset they wouldn't be able to see the baby right away and caused some drama, I just told them we would call when we were ready for visitors.
    After hours of labour things just started going down hill, my husband was freaking out, I was a mess and I was screaming for my mum, I told my husband to go call mum and ask her to come up, when he left the room my mum was already out in the car park waiting and said she just said she couldn't be that far away whilst I was going through all that.
    She came into the room and just held me for about 2 hours whilst my husband rubbed my back, both my husband and I just relaxed once she was there.
    I started passing out and all I remember is mum holding and kissing me and my husband telling me it would all be fine on our way down to have an emergency c-section.
    I'm so glad she was there! My husband was more relaxed, I was too and she helped so much in those first few hours after dd's birth and never interfered.
    About 5 hours after the birth we called the inlaws and told them they could come visit.
    They never did and didn't until 10 days after dd's birth...
    If I have another baby I'm not going to tell any the due date (apart from who ever will be looking after dd) and I'll just see how I feel after the birth.
    I will ask my mum to be there again, I'm a bit attached to her
    Your mum sounds like a sweet heart


 

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