+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default What to do when your baby's daddy was your first love?

    Hi I'm 30 I've got a beautiful 19 month old to my first love we were together for seven years then he lost his job and since that has gone down hill and well now I'm a single mum. I've promised he can be a part of his daughters life which is making it hard for me to move on but I can't leave him alone with hDr as of yet as I don't trust him or feel confident her could tend to her needs as he is on psychotics. So any ideas or books you guys can refer me to on getting over him with him still being in my life.

    Sent from my LG-P705 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi!
    Big hugs to you first and foremost

    I assume when you say 'getting over him' you mean you are still in love with him? I also assume you mean anti psychotics? Does he take his own meds or does he go in for an injection every 2 weeks or so? If he is on injections then it may help to plan your visits around when he has them and when they are due. Lots of people say that they become a bit unwell on the 2-3 days before the next injection and for 2-3 days after they feel a bit groggy. If he is on tablets then it may be better to ask him which parts of the day he feels his best. Some people are slow to wake up so afternoons could be better. Also if he's just getting used to his meds it may pay to keep the visits short. Could you maybe find a contact centre that he could have supervised time with his dd or maybe meet at McDonalds where you can have a coffee and he can play in the playground? A park where there are other people and you but he still gets to interact with her? My BIL was on anti psychotics for years and he split with my sister when my niece was 2. My sister dropped dd at his nana's place so they could all visit together. He really could only do an hour or two before he was tired. Is there some sort of arrangement like this that you could set up? It's important that they have a relationship but if you don't feel comfortable atm with her in his care alone then yes maybe best to think about including others. Has he got any suggestions of his own?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you
    So much for those ideas I might look at doing them.
    His mother seems to be just as crazy the day I left her house as I lived there for six months it wasn't on good terms and she did something that shocks me to this day and mad me reluctant to leave my dd with her. The grandmother grabbed my dd out of her Auntys room and brought her out to us like she was covered in poo and plonked her out to us slammed the door after coldly saying bye. My poor dd was a mess for she didn't know what was going on. So yeah I can't arrange it with her I don't want my daughter left with her unsupervised and I'm currently going through mediation with her too. So I think she might take me to court. But with her drinking and drug use I just don't want to leave her alone with my child. I rearly drink and when or if I do I always make sure it's after her bed time. But I haven't been able to get in contact with the father as when I call he rarely answers or texts me saying leave me alone. So I've now informed him that I've deleted his number and to contact mum in regards to visits. But there has been minimal contact and we are going to request two days notice as we do have a life and we can't drop everything because he texts that morning saying he is coming. Which has been the case previously and occasionally not showing.

    Yeah I might read a few self help books to help me get over it and be on a even level with him.
    Sent from my LG-P705 using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

Similar Threads

  1. No Daddy But Want A Baby
    By rbc87 in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09-01-2014, 08:39
  2. How old is your 'baby daddy' ?
    By Calstar in forum Conception & Fertility General Chat
    Replies: 58
    Last Post: 21-07-2013, 17:38
  3. The daddy
    By Emperor in forum Introductions
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 24-03-2013, 19:56

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
BAE The Label
Versatile, premium maternity wear that you will love throughout pregnancy and long after. Cleverly designed for for all stages of motherhood so that you can 'Just be you (+1)'.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
The MAMA Centre
Pregnancy, birth & beyond care with your very own midwife. Home & hospital birth support, VBACs, antenatal & postnatal care by medicare eligible midwives & holistic health practitioners. Massage, chiro, naturopathy, yoga, counselling & beauty therapy
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!