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  1. #1
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    Default What do you expect from your toddler ?

    I have a 2.5 yo and 4 yo. Sometimes I don't know whether I am being too hard or too easy on them. I know every child is different but just wondering what your expectations are of your kids and their ages.

    Examples of things I try to get my kids to do them self are:

    Pack clean clothes away into drawers and wardrobe

    Put own dirty clothes in laundry basket

    Pack away toys and books (I would like them to do this them self but I usually have to nag and help)

    Brush own teeth(supervised)

    Get socks and shoes

    Choose clothes and get dressed (2.5yo still gets help with this. 4 yo is capable but likes to ask for help)

    Feed them self

    Get tissue and wipe nose/hands/mouth

    4 yo I would like to take herself to the toilet but I still am having to do this. We have a step and toddler seat.



    That's about it really. Do your kids need help with these things and are there other things you expect them to do?


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    Last edited by Jontu; 02-02-2014 at 08:57.

  2. #2
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    DS is 3, he :

    puts his shoes and hats away , I still pick his clothes and help him get dressed but he can put his shoes on by himself

    he has always eaten at the table with us and fed himself and puts his dish in the sink, he can help himself to water or fruit any time but I get the rest of his food

    He has been brushing his own teeth for a while now but one of us will still supervise

    He takes himself to the toilet and washes his hands but he will tell out for us to wipe his bum for a no 2!!

    He will pick up his toys if I remind him but that's something we will work on this year!

  3. #3
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    We don't really do much as routine, he usually brings his plate back and gets things if I ask him to like shoes, hat. He wipes his face and hands with help but I don't really have any expectations of him as part if a routine. DH has started getting him to help pack up toys occasionally. He always carries his own bag to the door for daycare.

  4. #4
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    tbh some of those I think are a bit much.

    Dentist rec that an adult does teeth up until 5/6 as little ones just cannot do it well enough. Supervising doesn't get into all the right places.

    Toileting really does depend on the child...Miss 3 usually takes herself to the loo but sometimes asks for help. I am happy either way.

    We pack away toys/books together. I would not expect the kids to just do it...it has to gradually become part of their routine over time. Mr 9 has to tidy his room each night before bed...but, if we are in there we will help. Just as he helps us tidy up with Miss 3 or do the dishwasher etc...we view it all in the spirit of teamwork and co operation.

    Both kids pop shoes in the shoe basket when they come inside...DH never seems to though lol

    Miss 3 always puts dirty clothes in clothes basket but i would not expect her to put clothes away in drawers/cupboards. Mr 9 had that added to his list of jobs last year (so about age 8). He now also helps with hanging out of wet clothes and also folding of clean. Miss 3 is a gun at matching the socks and has just started learning to fold facewashers.

    Miss 3 usually feeds herself, but sometimes needs a hand. We try and balance this and will sometimes help but also encourage to do it herself. Mr 9 will normally make both of their breakfasts on weekend days if he wakes up before us and stops her getting to our room lol This started last year too.

    I think having expectations just leads to disappointment...we expect the kids to help us as asked with no complaint so we try and show them the same courtesy

    Mr 9 gets pocket money based on attitude...he starts with $5 a week...if he complains or is difficult to get along with he loses $1 for that day....so can end up with nothing. He has to do what is asked when asked...anything from bringing in the bins, load/unload dishwasher, get ready to go out/pack bag etc, helping bring in and pack away groceries. His normal day to day stuff he just does and i will not pay him for just being part of the household...putting away clean clothes, keeping room tidy, doing homework, doing gym work (for karate), cleaning away after meals/snacks.

    Find a balance...but, imo if you want them to willingly help you around the house...you need to demonstrate that by being willing to help them with stuff like packing away toys and stuff.

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  6. #5
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I think you're expecting too much. Maybe I expect too little!

    DD2.5 eats herself, gets dressed with assistance, and helps pack up toys very occasionally.

    Pretty much all I expect is cuddles.

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    Ds1 is 2.5 years and I don't really expect much of him but he does like to help all on his own so I just go with that.

    By the morning he has usually thrown his blanket and teddies on the floor so he likes to put them away.

    When he is finished eating he likes to put his dish in the sink.

    He also loves putting his rubbish in the bin but will also put other peoples in the bin too lol

    He loves having a cloth to help me wipe surfaces down. Pretty sure he just wants to be like macca pacca from In the night garden with that one

    Sometimes he likes to help me put the shopping away.

    When we pack up toys I just do it but encourage him to help. Because he's still so young to me I would prefer to give him the option to help so It's not so much of a forced thing that he will learn to hate. I'm not saying that's what anybody here is doing I just know my son needs to be eased into it or it ends up in a tantrum. I just look at what he likes to help with and go with it

    So no I don't expect him to do anything unless he actually wants to help.
    Last edited by Purple Lily; 02-02-2014 at 10:38.

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    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jontu View Post
    That's about it really. Do your kids need help with these things and are there other things you expect them to do?
    I help my kids if I can or if they need it, trying to instill a sense of many hands make light work, and it's more enjoyable to do jobs with someone..we try to make it fun rather than a drudgery!

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    I expect my older 2 kids (aged 3 & 5) to

    Put their dirty clothes in the washing basket
    Put finished plates/bowls etc. into sink
    Pack away toys and clean their room after they've been playing
    Feed themselves (sometimes 3yo will ask for help when he's really tired)
    Wash themselves in the bath/shower
    Wash their faces in bath/shower
    Get shoes and put them on (depending in kind of shoe)
    I let then brush their own teeth in the morning, but I brush their teeth at night.


    I expect my 5yo to dress herself, wipe her bum, make her bed in the morning.
    Last edited by BigRedV; 02-02-2014 at 10:19.

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    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    Mr 9 gets pocket money based on attitude...he starts with $5 a week...if he complains or is difficult to get along with he loses $1 for that day....so can end up with nothing. He has to do what is asked when asked...anything from bringing in the bins, load/unload dishwasher, get ready to go out/pack bag etc, helping bring in and pack away groceries. His normal day to day stuff he just does and i will not pay him for just being part of the household...putting away clean clothes, keeping room tidy, doing homework, doing gym work (for karate), cleaning away after meals/snacks.
    That's a great idea!


 

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