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  1. #31
    bunkx's Avatar
    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    So am I, but that doesn't mean that the 'universe' wanted OP to have another baby
    How do YOU know that ...... ? Confused !!!

    Anyway not debating as this is a topic very close to me

    Op I wish you all the best in coming to decision that you 100% happy with

    Feel free to pm with any question if you want
    Last edited by bunkx; 01-02-2014 at 19:26.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by headoverfeet View Post
    I totally agree Kara and OBB but I don't think it's appropriate to comment saying what she should or shouldn't do.

    I just don't think this is like other areas of the forum, this is a very big decision as 'we' all know.
    I realize that and thought i made it very clear that i wasn't telling her what she should do. I even echoed what you just said here by telling her that whatever she does it needs to be hers alone. I don't think responses have been out of line at all.

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  4. #33
    TimeForWine's Avatar
    TimeForWine is offline Taking everyday one wine at a time...
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    Huge hugs. I have had a termination. I don't want to sway you either way because it is totally your decision obviously. What I will say is please please make this decision on how you feel in your heart ultimately and not on other factors like timing, marriage etc.

    I had my termination when I was nineteen. I am now 36 and have 2 beautiful children. It is something I still think about and mourn even 17 years later.

    Give yourself time to think about it once the shock subsides and be sure. Once you are sure you can do the thing that is right for you - either way xxx

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  6. #34
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    Last edited by felicia81; 01-02-2014 at 19:45.

  7. #35
    headoverfeet's Avatar
    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by bunkx View Post
    How do YOU know that ...... ? Confused !!!
    I don't..that was my point, anyway I find this concept interesting so I have started another thread as I don't want to derail this one any more than it already has been by this topic

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  9. #36
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    OP, please follow your heart. From what you've written, it seems as though you would regret a termination. It's a decision that can't be undone, so give yourself some time to think it through.

    I have some firsthand experience with some of your concerns. I'll give you my side, however everyone is different of course so keep that in mind.

    My exDH had an affair while I was pregnant with DS2 - and got the girl pregnant. So we only have 5mths between our babies. I worried so very much about our DS1 and how this would affect him, but he's absolutely fine. It helps that he adores all babies, but he has shown no negativity towards either baby. He just accepts it as life. I've struggled with it more than he has!

    DS2 was also unplanned, DS1 was only 9mths old! It's a scary prospect when you aren't emotionally prepared for another baby yet, I get your apprehension. I had the added concern of finances at the time too. It's a lot to wrap your head around. Even during the pregnancy I still had doubts about my decision, particularly once I was in my own. But now I couldn't imagine life without my cool little dude. He completes my family.

    Ultimately I guess I knew I'd always regret terminating. I started a thread very similar to yours at the time! I quickly worked out that all my doubts were in my head only, about superficial things that I would somehow manage. My heart always knew the 'right' decision for me.

    Finances, timing, marriage - all things you can work out. Marriage (sadly) isn't everything. I was married, I'm no longer. If it truly means that much to you, then get married before the baby arrives.

    Sorry for long post.....moral is, go with your heart, not your head. X
    Last edited by Pesca77; 01-02-2014 at 20:05.

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  11. #37
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    Thank you so much for the replies everyone. I have been reading quietly while we have been making our decision & we have decided to keep the baby . I know I would regret the alternative and DP knows he would too, we both decided for the sake of 12 months it isn't worth the heartache we know we would go through. On the marriage front, we know we are rock solid and we will get married as soon as practical.

    Pesca, you really made me feel at ease re: DD and her having 2 siblings so close together. The way in which this has happened to you is absolutely awful though, huge hugs xx

    Off to find my due in group . Thank you again ladies, my heart was definitely not leaning towards termination & I'm glad I've gone with that x

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    bunkx  (02-02-2014),Jellyfishie  (02-02-2014),KaraB  (02-02-2014),ourbradybunch  (02-02-2014),Pesca77  (02-02-2014),Phony  (02-02-2014),TimeForWine  (02-02-2014),VicPark  (02-02-2014)

  13. #38
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    Great to hear you are at peace with your decision. Best of luck xxx

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  15. #39
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    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Quote Originally Posted by PorkyPies View Post
    Thank you so much for the replies everyone. I have been reading quietly while we have been making our decision & we have decided to keep the baby . I know I would regret the alternative and DP knows he would too, we both decided for the sake of 12 months it isn't worth the heartache we know we would go through. On the marriage front, we know we are rock solid and we will get married as soon as practical.

    Pesca, you really made me feel at ease re: DD and her having 2 siblings so close together. The way in which this has happened to you is absolutely awful though, huge hugs xx

    Off to find my due in group . Thank you again ladies, my heart was definitely not leaning towards termination & I'm glad I've gone with that x

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Thanks for the update, and...congratulations!

    Wishing you and your husband to be much happiness :-)

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  17. #40
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Great to hear you are at peace with your decision. Best of luck xxx
    congratulations and good luck

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