+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 23
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    QLD
    Posts
    10
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0

    Default Slightly terrified to have a second!

    First time poster. Be gentle with me.

    We are planning a second child, however I am ever so slightly terrified.

    We have spent quite a bit of time preparing to expand our family. We have a lovely 4 year old son who is off to school this week and is desperate for a brother/sister/maybe a dog! lol

    We both work fulltime, have a great family life and are so ready for another child. We have paid off all of our debts and our first home is due to start building in a month's time. We wanted to get into a position where our mortgage would be our only debt, meaning my husband's income would cover everything.

    We also took out full Private Health Cover 4 months ago and plan to try to conceive in March.

    Now that all the ducks are lined up, I'm getting apprehensive.

    My first labour was horrendous. I went to 40 +12 and had a labour of 28 hours in total, he got stuck and I needed an episiotomy, ventouse/ suction delivery, stitches and managed to get strep b due to high temp etc. I was in pain for quite a while as they stitched me too tight which required correction and bubs spent his first week on antibiotics in special care. We were living in the UK for 5 years and had him while we were there in an NHS hospital so maybe things will be totally different here, I'm just not sure.

    I am scared stiff that it will be the same second time around.

    Anyone been in the same situation? Everything is so right...but too scared to go ahead and do it all over again?!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    4,191
    Thanks
    1,270
    Thanked
    2,598
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Maybe2 I can't speak from a personal perspective as I'm TTC no 1, but from a professional standpoint hopefully I can reassure you on a couple of points.

    Your second baby is usually an easier labour and birth than first time round. Your first baby had to do a lot of the work when it comes to creating an exit pathway. Now your body knows what to do with the thinning of the cervix, dilation of the cervix etc, it *should* be easier this time.

    If you have some documentation that states that you and/or bub were positive for Group B strep (ie your bubs health record book) then you will be treated with IV antibiotics during labour to minimise the risk on baby. GBS is a transient infection so there's no guarantee it will be present on the day you actually deliver, but given how sick your last bub was, the recommendation would be to have the antibiotics as a prophylaxis just in case.

    Just because you had a ventouse delivery last time does not mean you need one next time. There could've been a number of reasons why a ventouse delivery would've been necessary. An episiotomy would've been likely as sometimes trying to get a baby out quickly using a vacuum or forceps needs a little extra room. Again there's no guarantee you'll need one again, however it is a possibility if the scar doesn't stretch up during crowning.

    I hope this helps and that some other members can offer some more personal input

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to M'LadyEm For This Useful Post:

    maybe2  (26-01-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    70
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked
    26
    Reviews
    0
    I haven't been in your same situation (bar the ready to try for number 2), however have you considered having a doula on hand for the next birth. They obviously can't control the physical aspects but maybe they will help to explain and keep you calm and make you feel a little more in control? Just a thought.

    Lol @ a brother, sister or dog! Sweet.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to malis For This Useful Post:

    maybe2  (26-01-2014),PurpleButterfly4  (26-01-2014)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    3,234
    Thanks
    652
    Thanked
    893
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    If it makes you feel easier better, my 2nd delivery was waaaaaaay easier than the 1st.

    1st was an induction and was long, painful, scary and just horrid.

    2nd, 6 hours, I was a bit more educated and did things the way I wanted (ad much as you can).

    Don't freak out. Having a baby is an amazing experience.. I'm sure everything would go fine!

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to misho For This Useful Post:

    maybe2  (26-01-2014)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    QLD
    Posts
    10
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Thanks everyone. I didn't realise they could use antibiotics as a precaution if you've had issues before, so that has definitely made me feel a little less apprehensive.

    I hadn't considered a doula, but maybe that would help. My husband is fantastic and very supportive of my feelings but to be honest I think he was a little shocked with the whole experience himself!

    Misho...6 hours would be amazing!! ha

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    43
    Thanks
    17
    Thanked
    10
    Reviews
    0
    I feel the same way.

    My little one is almost 2, and there has been a lot of talk about the next one. Hubby wants to try now (well he wanted to ages ago but i have avoided the topic).

    I work part-time and have moved up in the company so i am hesitant to lose my position.

    I had a hard time with pregnancy, very very bad nausea that went on for the majority of the 9months. I also had a horrible 1st birth - did it all with no drugs (long story, nurse was an air head), i had tears, stitches, the works. Recovery was painful.

    But this little family of 3 is so happy, and my little girl is the best thing that has happened in our life! I know the sacrifice is worth it, after all, I think creating another child is so much more important that money, work, etc.

    But yup, slightly terrified too lol

    I come to bubhub to help me get more clucky somehow!!!

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to minniemarta For This Useful Post:

    maybe2  (26-01-2014)

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,226
    Thanks
    427
    Thanked
    545
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hi op. Although my ds is younger than yours and your first labour sound much more difficult than mine, i think i can understand how you feel. The concept of having a baby is somewhat scary for everyone. The only advice i can give you is try and concentrate on the outcome of it all, a beautiful baby. Think of how your ds will love a sibling and how gorgeous those newborn cuddles are. Try saying positive affirmations every day to steer your thoughts into a better direction. Xxx good luck

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Funnels For This Useful Post:

    maybe2  (26-01-2014)

  13. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    QLD
    Posts
    10
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    I think its easy to talk myself in and out of it because I'm so scared of the labour, but its absolutely true that the outcome is very much worth every second of pain. Hopefully this time I'll be given midwives who aren't rushed off their feet with an overly full ward etc too. There were lots of contributing factors to the outcome of my labour, including a doctor who refused to induce me even at 12 days overdue. To make it worse it was also my birthday! Some people have all the luck!

    I'm turning 30 this year and we didn't want more than 6 years between children so its time to get tough and focus on being positive about it.

    I've been on the net for the first time in ages today and discovered a whole new world of lovely prams, cots and carseats. Who knew things could change so much in 4 years? I think my husband is just hoping I only choose 1 pram this time. It took 3 different prams to get it right with DS!

  14. #9
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    QLD
    Posts
    10
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by minniemarta View Post
    I feel the same way.

    I work part-time and have moved up in the company so i am hesitant to lose my position.
    Totally understand this too minniemarta. Woman are still left behind in the workplace for having children. Its terrible but I don't see it changing anytime soon. I'm lucky enough to have a really supportive boss, but wouldn't even have been considering it in my previous workplace, as it would basically guaranteed me no further promotion!

  15. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I had a long labour with ds 6 years ago and it ended with a csec under ga so to me it was rubbish. My dd came along 20 months ago and I birthed her just fine with the drug-free hypno birthing experience I wanted with my ds. I also had another pregnancy that ended in a labour at 18 weeks between ds and dd and that too was completely different. I feel that if you read up about various options, ask questions and be well informed then nature and your knowledge can create a birthing experience which is different from your first. I do get what you're feeling so hugs to you but dd was a great choice to make and I feel she brings out the best in ds.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to BbBbBh For This Useful Post:

    maybe2  (26-01-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Terrified
    By bpac in forum General Health
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 21-06-2013, 10:40
  2. TTC with slightly long cycles?
    By hummingbird1 in forum Conception issues & ttc
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 06-06-2013, 22:45

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Medela Australia
Our goal is to give mothers and babies the best possible support for a great and long lasting breastfeeding experience. Medela have a full range of breastpumps and breastcare products, suited to every need and lifestyle.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!