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  1. #11
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    If the baby was in a different room to you it may have cried because you weren't there. The baby is very young still & it's normal that they aren't content with everybody. What do you think could have happened? My daughter still won't go near some people & she is 18 months.

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    OP I could have read it wrong but are you thinking your FIL did something to make her upset?

    I think it's a pretty shabby way to treat your in laws by saying they aren't allowed to babysit again, given their kind offer in the first place.

    Hopefully these responses make you re-think.

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    Normal. When DD2 has about that age she would scream the house down. Ive left her with her dad before and she practically screamed until she made herself sick. Should I not ever leave the house without her or leave her in her dads care? no chance. Normal.

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    I think it is fairly normal for a baby of that age to only want to be with mum and dad.

    Also, you say stranger danger? Does your daughter not see them often? Maybe a bit more familiarity might help her to feel comfortable.

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    I wouldn't call it stranger danger more stranger anxiety

    Quote Originally Posted by christie24 View Post

    What exactly was it that made you think something happened? Does your husband know that you think his dad did something to your baby? Imo is a bit harsh to never let them look after their grandchild again unless they were negligent which by the sounds of it they werent. Maybe you could try spending more time with them so you can see them interact with her and she can get to know them well enough that they would no longer be classed as 'strangers'

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Yeah, I think letting her get to know your ILs more while you are around would be the best thing to do and once she seems more comfortable then try again with them minding her rather than banning them altogether after one try.


    Quote Originally Posted by bunkx View Post
    This

    Dd1 would scream the house down if anyone but me her dad or pop held her
    Did I think any of those people hurt her umm no she just wasn't familiar with them yet

    I think the way your dd acted is normal and very common at that age, she may have been having an off day too babies can be very unpredictable
    My DS was the same. Whenever my extended family was around he would scream. He doesn't now, he just needed to get used to them.
    Last edited by WiseOldOwl; 26-01-2014 at 12:16.

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    Mine is 4.5 months and is the same. ESP with the combo of a bit tired + teething + visitor is being super interactive. Once she screamed inconsolably 20 mins after being held by my Aunty for perhaps 45 seconds?

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    I think it's a bit OTT that you won't let your IL's look after bub again. I'd hardly call grandparents "strangers" and refer to family with "stranger danger" either.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Naboo View Post
    I think it's abit extreeme to say your inlaws are not babysitting again because your almost new-born had a tantrum while being minded by them. Unless I'm missing something here?!?!
    I agree, no wonder your DH is upset.
    Maybe bubby just needs more time with them?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauzy View Post
    I think it's a bit OTT that you won't let your IL's look after bub again. I'd hardly call grandparents "strangers" and refer to family with "stranger danger" either.
    Totally agree with pp. Way ott reaction.

    Bubby is just concerned that her milk has left her.

    I too think there's more to the story to make you think something happened to your 4 month old. Something's been left out here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Naboo View Post
    I think it's abit extreeme to say your inlaws are not babysitting again because your almost new-born had a tantrum while being minded by them. Unless I'm missing something here?!?!

    My DS carried on like that with my parents some times, then with other people other times. Especially around that age when he started having more awareness that we weren't around.

    Why would you think this is stranger danger? Sorry but I think it's abit weird or there is something in the story you haven't mentioned.
    She was perfectly happy for the first few minutes and it was a sudden extreme reaction, normally she works up to getting upset. Reading that other people have had young babies respond like this is helping me put my reaction into perspective.

    I do agree 'no more baby sitting' is an extreme reaction - but she gets handed around and cuddled by almost everyone she meets (she has an amazing social life) and has never reacted like this before. It's easily the most upset I have ever seen her. She loves chatting and smiling at everyone. I feel absolutely terrible that I left her after the first reaction, so there is a lot of mother guilt in my question.

    I had always promised myself, that while I wanted my children to socialise well, I wouldn't force them to spend time with people that made them feel uncomfortable. As I child I had a terrible baby sitter and was repeatedly forced to spend time with them as 'getting along with people' was more important than expressing feelings. So I want to feel that she can say 'no' and I will listen. She doesn't know my in-laws well, they live interstate (but she then again she doesn't know my parents much better but doesn't react like this).
    Last edited by sodalimebitters; 26-01-2014 at 12:54. Reason: adding in detail


 

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