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  1. #1
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    Default 4mth old: Stranger Danger or Did Something Happen?

    Please can someone who knows a bit more about babies tell me if it is normal for babies to display 'stranger danger' at 4 months, or if something might have happened? According to raising children, I thought stranger danger was 7-9 months and other reputable sources say it is even later.

    My in-laws came over to babysit for an hour so DH and I could go get a cup of coffee and have a chat (very sweet). FIL was holding my baby while I was in the next room explaining where everything is located when all of a sudden she started screaming hysterically. She was really, really upset and I haven't seen her react like that before. After consoling her and checking she was ok, we still decided to go for coffee down the street. We were only a short walk away and they were under strict instructions to call us if she got upset again. Apparently while we were away, she was looking around for us and when she realised we definitely weren't there she became upset again (I am unsure if this is true or not? Maybe they didn't read her signs well?). While I have been able to comfort her, she had difficulty sleeping last night and would wake up screaming.

    She has never reacted like this when my mother cares for her while I go to the supermarket or go to park the car. Even in social situations when I let other people hold her, she absolutely loves it and chats and laughs away with everyone. She loves socialising and meeting people.

    So, is it normal for a very social happy baby to suddenly get stranger danger early? Obviously, they aren't babysitting again (which has hurt my DH feelings)!

  2. #2
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    My DS1 was like that at that age. Hated being held by anyone other than me or DH. I think they become more alert and aware of their surroundings, and start to develop an understanding of mum/dad vs everyone else.

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    I think it's abit extreeme to say your inlaws are not babysitting again because your almost new-born had a tantrum while being minded by them. Unless I'm missing something here?!?!

    My DS carried on like that with my parents some times, then with other people other times. Especially around that age when he started having more awareness that we weren't around.

    Why would you think this is stranger danger? Sorry but I think it's abit weird or there is something in the story you haven't mentioned.

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  6. #4
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    When my DD was about four months old she went through a stage where she would only want me. She would scream hysterically if my DH or my mum would even try to change her nappy or bath her. Like others have said they grow out of it. I wouldn't not let your in-laws babysit unless you have other concerns? I'm sure they felt terrible, I know my DH & mum did!

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    My Dd from an early age screamed the house down if she was left with a male (even her dad!). With mum or me she was fine but give her to daddy or pa and she was an absolute mess. I think sometimes it's just a habit, DD spent more time with me and my mum and that was who she felt comfy with, she was a clingy little thing!

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    All my kids went through that at that age DS2 would scream for over a hour non stop even if it was DH or I there. It's about this age some babies go through the witching hour so that could be it.

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    Completely normal. To not let your ILs babysit again is completely over the top!

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    My dd is 10 months old and has ALWAYS reacted like that if anyone besides me or dh has her. I wouldn't read too much into it. She most likely just realised that you weren't there and chucked a tantrum.

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    I would say its normal for any baby to have a cry no matter how social or happy they normally are. Maybe something frightened her or maybe she just decided she wanted her mum...who knows.

    What exactly was it that made you think something happened? Does your husband know that you think his dad did something to your baby? Imo is a bit harsh to never let them look after their grandchild again unless they were negligent which by the sounds of it they werent. Maybe you could try spending more time with them so you can see them interact with her and she can get to know them well enough that they would no longer be classed as 'strangers'

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    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    Completely normal. To not let your ILs babysit again is completely over the top!
    This

    Dd1 would scream the house down if anyone but me her dad or pop held her
    Did I think any of those people hurt her umm no she just wasn't familiar with them yet

    I think the way your dd acted is normal and very common at that age, she may have been having an off day too babies can be very unpredictable


 

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