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  1. #1
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    Default Having second thoughts...

    I can't stand my obstetrician. My partner thinks he's fantastic. They laugh and joke and it's like I'm not even in the room. He directs everything to my partner when I ask questions. And when I said I wanted a doula he said "why would you do something dilly like that when you have your husband and me there?". Is it too late to find another doctor? The doula I'm talking to is telling me I should go public and see a midwife but my partner won't do that. I'm meeting the doula today and i really want her but I get the feeling that she will be shunned by my dr and my partner so I don't know what to do. I feel so helpless.

  2. #2
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    I should add that doula I'm meeting may not have a spot for me as she is very busy. When I first contacted her she had no space but after I explained everything she said she might be able to help. If she can't fit me, does anyone know any others? I've already met two

  3. #3
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    Thank you. The postcode is correct. I just moved and so I'm still booked at RPA but I am thinning about RHW now. And it's not for my doula's sake. I'm not booked with her yet. She just said that the obstetrician's communication with my partner and not with me was inappropriate.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to AngieMagpie For This Useful Post:

    headoverfeet  (25-01-2014)

  5. #4
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    This is your birth. You are the one who has to birth your baby, and live with the consequences of what happens at the birth. You need to be comfortable with where you birth, and who is there. It is not your partner's decision to make, it is yours.

    i learnt this the hard way in my first birth. You have to do what is right for you.

    take care

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    headoverfeet  (25-01-2014)

  7. #5
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    I told my partner this morning that if I can't have a doula and go to RHW birth center, I will be considering separating. I'm on my way to meet the doula now. He's refused to come with me.

  8. #6
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    I have experienced both ob in pow and 2nd birth public birth suite with midwife and doula in Rhw. So happy with my decision to go public for dd2, happy to share or answer any ques, even get your DH to ask mine some ques. Pm if I can help

  9. #7
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    I'd be changing OBs. If he's only communicating with your DH now what will it be like on the day? Are they going to try to make decisions for you or pressure you into interventions they decide you need?

    Hopefully it isn't too late to get in somewhere else!

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  10. #8
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    I've booked with my doula! And she's coming with me to RHW when I go to have a look on Tuesday. Until then I'm staying with my brother and his partner. I'm going to call my ob to cancel his "services". I feel so much better.
    Last edited by AngieMagpie; 25-01-2014 at 11:26.

  11. #9
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Jumping in late so just wanted to say it's fab to hear you are more confident now

  12. #10
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    We're using a doula and booked with a public hospital - it's SO nice to be 100% supported and heard/listened to when it comes to birth angst good on you for sticking to your guns!!


 

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