+ Reply to Thread
Page 5 of 10 FirstFirst ... 34567 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 94
  1. #41
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    Gold Coast
    Posts
    2,302
    Thanks
    1,824
    Thanked
    237
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Lots of hugs to you.
    You're definitely doing the right thing to go back home. You'll need the support and help from those that are close to you.
    A huge NO to putting his name on the birth cert. He definitely doesn't deserve to be in your life and your child's.

    Personally I wouldn't concern myself with telling the gf about him. She won't believe you and he'll spin some lies that will make her believe them.

    Best of luck and good wishes for you and your child's future!


    Single mummy to a wonderful DS (Born 11/12/2008)

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to PurpleButterfly4 For This Useful Post:

    Carly Lou  (26-01-2014),KaraB  (25-01-2014)

  3. #42
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    5,219
    Thanks
    2,842
    Thanked
    1,467
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    500 Posts in a week
    400 Posts in a week300 posts in a week200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a weekFunniest Caption
    Hugs. I think your baby is lucky to have you. It is terrible what he has done to you but you seem to be making smart decisions and I think it is great that you will have the support of your family at home. He doesn't deserve to be a father.

    Sent from my telecommunications device.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to FrothyFrog For This Useful Post:

    Carly Lou  (26-01-2014),KaraB  (25-01-2014)

  5. #43
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Posts
    464
    Thanks
    129
    Thanked
    209
    Reviews
    0
    I think you are so incredibly strong and brave, so even though I'm just an internet stranger, please don't feel stupid or down on yourself. He sounds so incredibly manipulative, I'm just so happy you got out of there.

    I'm glad you aren't putting his name on the birth certificate, you and your baby both will be better off if he is just gone.

    Your baby is lucky to have you. Huge hugs

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to jesssalee For This Useful Post:

    Carly Lou  (26-01-2014),KaraB  (25-01-2014)

  7. #44
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    6,694
    Thanks
    1,185
    Thanked
    3,209
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    For the safety of you and your baby please keep his name off the certificate and never make contact again. He sounds mentally unstable you must factor in that he tricked you and now you must try put it behind you with your beautiful baby.

  8. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lilypily For This Useful Post:

    Carly Lou  (26-01-2014),KaraB  (25-01-2014)

  9. #45
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Brisbane, Qld
    Posts
    2,906
    Thanks
    971
    Thanked
    780
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Oh Carly I want to cry reading that xxxx sending you all the love, strength & support in the world xxxx

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to kriista For This Useful Post:

    Carly Lou  (26-01-2014)

  11. #46
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    7,098
    Thanks
    4,951
    Thanked
    1,394
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Wow I am so sorry Carly. Sending you so much love. I do believe everything happens for a reason although sometimes the reasons aren't clear until much later. Sorry your scenario was so harsh to start but it can only end well with a beautiful little soul about to come into the world.

    There is so much support around you which is great, including here so please use it.

  12. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LoCo For This Useful Post:

    Carly Lou  (26-01-2014),KaraB  (25-01-2014)

  13. #47
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2,051
    Thanks
    8,078
    Thanked
    1,258
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think you are doing the right thing going home to have your baby sweetheart. I would run a mile from a man like that and leave him completely out of it in a situation like yours too. I'm so sorry you're going through this but also glad that you are able to get so far away from this man where he can't reach you or your precious baby. I would worry for you more if you were staying in the country or trying to keep in touch with him, he sounds like a nightmare

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to KaraB For This Useful Post:

    Carly Lou  (26-01-2014)

  15. #48
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2,051
    Thanks
    8,078
    Thanked
    1,258
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    For the safety of you and your baby please keep his name off the certificate and never make contact again. He sounds mentally unstable you must factor in that he tricked you and now you must try put it behind you with your beautiful baby.
    I agree 100% protect yourself and your baby at all costs.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to KaraB For This Useful Post:

    Carly Lou  (26-01-2014)

  17. #49
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2,051
    Thanks
    8,078
    Thanked
    1,258
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Carly Lou View Post
    Ps: if I do contact the girlfriend when I'm back home, what do I say? She probably has no idea I want to hate her, but it's totally not her fault, bet she's as spellbound as I was- more so being a teenager....
    I understand completely you wanting to warn her but please don't contact her! He will get wind of it and probably do something vindictive in your direction. She will learn just like you did sadly. You really need to completely disappear from his world and not contact anyone he knows- you have to think of yourself and your baby first. Besides the GF will probably think you're just a jealous ex trying to get back at him- believe me I've been there you can't warn the next one they won't believe you and it will backfire. He sounds dangerous. I have dated a man like this I know what I'm talking about. Steer well clear of him. As for going back and forth about feeling good about the baby that's totally normal for an unplanned pregnancy even without all of what you went through. What you're feeling is so normal. You won't always feel like this. Once you're safe and home with your family, settle into the second trimester and see your baby's face on an ultrasound you will only feel love and excitement

  18. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to KaraB For This Useful Post:

    Carly Lou  (26-01-2014),VicPark  (25-01-2014)

  19. #50
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    24
    Thanks
    68
    Thanked
    47
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you so much for your wonderfully supportive responses, I am so touched people have taken the time to reply and all your advice has really helped.

    I’m just so saddened to hear others have experienced men like this too, its awful they can do this and feel no remorse, but the more I read about narcissistic sociopaths, he is spot on, so I know deep down it wasn’t my fault for believing and trusting him, but can’t help beating myself up over and over again with “what ifs”…..

    Yesterday I had a good day feeling positive about keeping the baby- today I'm not so sure and hate myself for it and worry I’ve already seriously harmed it by getting drunk/taking my pill/having my hair dyed etc before I found out- I’m just very confused and frightened, but know for a fact I could teach a child far more morals and social skills than that pig will ever posses.

    I binned my Sim card today- the mobile phone was in his name, so he was able to check from my calls etc where I was, so better safe than sorry even though I'm going home next Monday and having a friend stay with me until then so I’m not alone- phew!

    I saw a poster of him in a shop window too, so that set me off- will be easier to refocus once I'm away from the scene of his crimes so to speak and thoughts of his girlfriend. I just worry he will go too far and really injure a woman one day, but I need to start focusing on my future I realise and not obsessing about them. He probably has a string of women hooked though, so I can’t warn everyone he comes into contact with sadly….

    So pleased to hear so many of you have moved on, had lovely families and found these decent guys which I thought were a myth as I’ve never encountered one yet. Gives me a lot of hope to hang onto and I definitely want some counselling when I return so I can gain a bit more clarity that it wasn’t my fault. I’ve worried too about what I’d tell my child when they were old enough about their father, but as mentioned, family dynamics are much more open these days so I don’t think its such an issue and I have lots of positive male friends/family members in my life so any one of them would be better for a child to be around and learn from than my ex.
    Maybe he already has kids all over Australia and just keeps running away- nothing would surprise me now. Classic narcissistic sociopath, not helped by his excessive drinking and drug habits, beyond pathetic.

    Still, next Monday I fly home- I’ll be sad to leave Australia as despite all this, it is a beautiful place and I’ve made some good friends, so maybe one day I can return and enjoy it properly after coming out the other side stronger.

    A million thank you’s once again to each and every one of you- your children are lucky to have such compassionate and wise parents. Posting here was once of my better decisions and I really love how none of you have been judgmental to my situation/thoughts, just given lots of lovely support. Women really are pretty strong aren’t they?

    Happy Australia Day....Carly x

  20. The Following User Says Thank You to Carly Lou For This Useful Post:

    KaraB  (26-01-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. How far along before u started trying to encourage bub along?
    By Kimnconnor in forum Third Trimester Chat
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 10-09-2013, 08:31
  2. Please help, encourage, reassure....
    By Wivi in forum Constipation, Toilet Training
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 09-09-2013, 19:19
  3. How to encourage toddler to eat fruit
    By Rachelwade in forum 2 year olds
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 05-09-2013, 20:17

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Pebblebee
Parents spend hours looking for things they need NOW. The keys, the remote, darling daughter's treasured teddy. Stop wasting precious time looking & start finding with Bub Hub reviewed Pebblebee Smart Tag. Simply attach a Pebblebee and find it fast.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
Tribalance
TriBalance is a physio, yoga & pilates studio in Brisbane's inner north, offering specialised women's health physiotherapy services. Weekly pregnancy yoga classes are scheduled at the studio on Thursdays 1- 2pm and Saturdays 1-2:15pm.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!