Last edited by xyz987; 14-02-2014 at 09:03.
As much as it's hard to do maybe just close that chapter in your life and look forward to new beginnings with your beautiful life that you have growing inside you I'm sure you have a lot to teach your unborn child in the way they treat people and be greatful for what you have and nobody can take that away from you!
I guess letting his girlfriend know wouldn't really change anything so just moving on would be the best for you at this time of your life
Big hugs for everything you have been through. Get yourself home and settled first then perhaps do some counselling to help you work through your emotions from what this idiot has put you through before you say anything to the other girl.
I think its natural to want to tell her but perhaps wait until your head is a bit clearer and you are safe at home.
All the best
Sent from my GT-I9195T using The Bub Hub mobile app
I just wanted to say I'm so sorry that this has happened this way. I hope that you are able to pick up the pieces and have a lovely life.
I don't think he has proven himself worthy of being in your childs life. Get yourself far, far away from him.
All the best.
Hugs to you what an ordeal for you plus being on the other side of the world without family/friends would have clouded your judgement.
I was with an equally awful bf 5 years ago. We were together for about 1 year, it turned out he had 4 maybe 5 kids (I still don't know exact number) and was still married and then also had another girlfriend as well. There were just so many lies and he was living a double/triple life. I ended up ringing his wife and other girlfriend and spilling everything to them. It turned out the wife had kicked him out a while ago for cheating and had cut herself emotionally off from him. The girlfriend dumped him and we were both disgusted in him. Plus there was potentially another gf with whom the 5th child was with.
Your ex Definitely sounds like mine, a narcissistic psychopath!
Please seek some counselling, this helped me work through my issues of 'how could I let this happen, it's my fault for not noticing, how didn't I know'.
It's not your fault and your family and friends won't judge you. It is in our nature to believe things people tell us especially if you're normal without a major personality disorder (like your ex has) as you think why would someone lie about that...
I have since moved on, am married to an amazing man and due to have a baby in 4 weeks.
You will recover from this xoxo
I wouldn't bother with the girlfriend really. I do feel bad for her as well but you have far too much on your plate to worry about her or risk him being more of an ******* to you later on!
Just wanted you to know that I fell pregnant when I was in the uk for 2 years 9 years ago. My son's father is a sa who I had a short relationship with but found out he was pining after someone else. He never wanted me to have my son but I decided to gave him and returned home to Australia when I was 5 months pregnant. Best thing I did was to return home and have him. It was very hard initially as I wanted someone to share all those moments with etc and I guess I wanted a family. Fast forward 2 years. I met my current husband. He has always been a father to my son and is a terrific dad. We've now been together 7 years and have 2 more children. Its actually worked out for the best that my sons4 father is not in his life and has never met him as my husband is the only man he views as dad. Before we met, my own dad was an important male in his life. My son knows the situation (explained kindly to a 9yo) and he doesn't ask questions or care. Family dynamics vary greatly these days so its not like he feels different to anyone else. Basically, thr message I want to send you is that it may not be easy or feel or seem easy now as you're so vulnerable, but if u do have the baby it'll all work out and fall into place in the future. Ps. I feel that the only reason I met his dad was so that I could have my son and that is the sole reason he was in my life and no post contact is required. Pps. Ive also stalked his fb and can see he's married with 2 kids. Good on him and her. And it's good to know I know that I dont live with a guilty secret. Definitely dont put him on the birth certificate as you'll have to get him to counter sign everything for the next 18 years and that will be inconvenient and messy
Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
Oh god I'm so sorry, what an a'hole he turned out to be.
Please stay safe, look out only for you and baby, take all the help that is offered.
I hope one day you can come back to Australia and explore the wonderful country it is, without fear of a'holes like him.
Good luck with everything you do, what a horrible person he is to do this to you!
Forget him and just think about your special little baby.
Holy fu@k balls. You have certainly been through a hell of a time! Sounds like your ex has big mental/drug issues. To be honest I don't think he was 100% with the other chick the whole time. It sounds like there is more to the story than meets the eye.
Go back to London ASAP. It's not often that I would advise someone to leave the dad off the birth certificate but in your case I think it's more than justified.
I can understand you wanting to warn the girl. What if she's headed down the same abusive path? A heads up might help her. But how would you do it? I certainly wouldn't do anything until I was back in the UK. And I would probably great an anonymous Facebook account to message her. Then again what if they do split? And your ex dates someone else? You can't protect all the women that he may come into contact with.
Go home, surround yourself with your family and friends and enjoy the beautiful bubba that you will have in your arms soon enough xxx
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!