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  1. #61
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    For me the joint is a deal breaker but so is snooping.

    Ask your sister what she thinks of smoking the joint and leave it at that for the moment. I'd never hook up with someone who smokes pot once I had kids so maybe she's the smar.

    And dont snoop anymore. The hooker cards gross me out but if he hadn't have had them, would you own up?? It's not nice at all.

  2. #62
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    He may have been dishonest having those cards there, he may not. As for no licence well that's his prerogative. You have been just as dishonest by rifling through anothers possessions without permission. If you were hoping to expose his true character you can only do so by exposing your own.

    Can I ask what you were hoping to find?

  3. #63
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    So you have a snoop.

    And a hooker using (presumably) pot smoker.

    It sounds like a home and away episode, seriously you want to help your sister. Stay out of her life, until she actually needs your help.

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  5. #64
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    So let me get this right....

    You invaded somebody's privacy by going through their wallet. You did this because you apparently have your sisters best interest at heart, also because somehow you can factor in the dealings you have with people from your workplace into having the right to snoop?

    Honestly, if you think that this is ok, then I think you are a bit nuts.

    I love my sisters and am extremely protective of them. With that love comes RESPECT! You're actions have completely disrespected your sister!

    Also, I'd like to add, that in my career, I have come into contact with people you would much rather not know existed, that doesn't give my the right to play Inspector with people's belongings.

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  7. #65
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    Surely ur sister's bf would've had a joint in front of her within the 8 mths they've known each other and I'm sure she knows he doesn't have a license. If u instincts were tellung you something was up and ur so close why not just say something to her in private? Pretty rude to look through the wallet of a stranger to you. You had no right. What if you had gotten caught and potentially ruined ur sister's relationship? And if ur so close why has it taken 8 mths to meet him?

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  9. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by aarentz View Post
    I never said I did the right thing I know snooping in hi wallet wasn't right, this isn't the issue here and all sure all of you guys have done things your not proud off so lay off. My issue is I believe this person isn't being honest with my sister and I see a lot of bad people in my life and see how they manipulate nice honest people. And I will never ever stay out if my sisters life I will always look out for her and go to any expense to make sure she is looked after and u expect the same in return so no I will not but out of her life if you don't agree with that that's fine
    I'm kinda not sure why you asked us then??? If you are that set on it and don't care about the repercussions of the snooping or the assumptions being made about everything, just go tell her what you did, what you found and what you think. I just don't think the fallout will be rosy. But that's from my personal experience with sisters butting in where they do not belong (love them and are super close- there are always lines though) I don't know your sister. If you think she'll be fine with what you've done and you jumping in with judgements and assumptions when you really don't know anything... Go talk to her! Asap. It is clearly really important to you to have your say.

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  11. #67
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    I think what you did was morally wrong! You're making assumptions of his character and their future over the fact he didn't have a license and 2 hooker business cards? What would you say if you had found a condom/s in his wallet? Would you assume he was a cheater?
    Your sister has a mind of her own. If the guy turns out to be a dud, than let her deal with it. I know if my SIL went through my wallet, I'd be livid.


    ⭐️DS born March, 2010⭐️
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  12. #68
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    I don't understand... you're okay with people smoking drugs, but aren't impressed with the fact that those drugs can alter their behaviour? Um... isn't that what drugs do?

    I'm also unsure why you're okay with drug-use (so long as it doesn't alter his behaviour), but not having a license somehow makes him a bad person... or something. Plenty of reasons people don't drive, and if your sister has been with him for a while, surely she's aware of that fact that he can't drive.

    The prostitution thing isn't exactly great, but you've found business cards... that could mean any number of things and doesn't mean that he's ever been to one for sex.

    Telling your sister about the cards will mean that everyone knows you've snooped... and then she won't trust you. Rightfully so, really, because it seems you cannot be trusted to respect the boundaries of her relationship... but that's obviously not something you want, especially since there could be a reasonable explanation for the business cards... and then you'll just causes issues with your sister over absolutely nothing of consequence.

    Perhaps it's time to realise that your sister is a grown adult and can do whatever she damn well pleases. If you actually see him using the services of a prostitute, then perhaps then it's okay to let her know... but please, don't be stalking him to find that out. It's not your place to be that involved. Back off a bit.

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  14. #69
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    Like I said I know I found out stuff the wrong way and I did do it because alarm bells rang after spending a bit if time getting to know him I don't need to go into all that. And as most if you have judged me to be controlling and possessive it is jot that, my sister is everything to me we are twins and have out whole life looked after each other and I have shared her with a ex husband and she has been taken for granted and abused and will not let that happen again so if I see concern I will look out for her and don't give a damn what anyone else thinks

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  16. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    I don't understand... you're okay with people smoking drugs, but aren't impressed with the fact that those drugs can alter their behaviour? Um... isn't that what drugs do?

    I'm also unsure why you're okay with drug-use (so long as it doesn't alter his behaviour), but not having a license somehow makes him a bad person... or something. Plenty of reasons people don't drive, and if your sister has been with him for a while, surely she's aware of that fact that he can't drive.

    The prostitution thing isn't exactly great, but you've found business cards... that could mean any number of things and doesn't mean that he's ever been to one for sex.

    Telling your sister about the cards will mean that everyone knows you've snooped... and then she won't trust you. Rightfully so, really, because it seems you cannot be trusted to respect the boundaries of her relationship... but that's obviously not something you want, especially since there could be a reasonable explanation for the business cards... and then you'll just causes issues with your sister over absolutely nothing of consequence.

    Perhaps it's time to realise that your sister is a grown adult and can do whatever she damn well pleases. If you actually see him using the services of a prostitute, then perhaps then it's okay to let her know... but please, don't be stalking him to find that out. It's not your place to be that involved. Back off a bit.
    I didn't explain it too well he didn't have a liscence but drives a car plenty. I know there can always be a reason behind things but I have been exposed to allot if manipulators and liars and when I see alarm bells it is usually true a bit like a mothers intuition and when I explain things to people they think I'm a bit weird in what I see but it is my living I have seen for years and can pick it a mile away


 

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