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  1. #1
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    Default About to be a single parent

    Im about to become a single parent (at least short-term). I need help.
    What advice would you give?

    Should DD and I leave or him? Do I pre-warn him/his family or literally have it out with him and tell him to go? Should I have someone here with me if possible or would that be an ambush.
    He has NO idea I have found his online messages again or that Im contemplating divorce.

    I have never broken up with someone (or lived/married someone and 'left' them) so I am literally lost. finances, child, work etc. I have no idea how to sort it out.

  2. #2
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    I'd kick him out tbh. Why should you and your DD have to find somewhere else as a result of his actions?

    Is he unstable or if there is a threat of violence, I'd definitely have someone there with you.

    As for telling his family, I'd wait until after he has left.

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    Does he have somewhere to go? Or do you have some where to go?

    If he had an option...I would simply pack him an overnight bag and then tell him to leave. The reason I suggest packing bag for him..is it cuts down on drama and the time it will take to have him out the door.

    If you have somewhere to go (that you and your DD will be happy and comfy) then you go.

    Really, whatever will be best for you and DD is what you do.

    Take your time to decide what next after that...go and get some counselling for yourself. Huge hugs.

  4. #4
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    Contact centrelink asap about your intention to claim PPS.

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    Mummy Potato  (23-01-2014)

  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by HarvestMoon View Post
    Contact centrelink asap about your intention to claim PPS.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    This! I applied in Oct last year & it still hasn't been processed!

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    Ask him to go. You and a child do not have to be homeless. It's easier for one to find somewhere to live rather than 2. If he is going to not take it well then I would have a strong support person by my side. I would also be packing his bag and in his case perhaps deliver it to his work. Given in your other thread you said your dh has the assets in his name, I would maybe do a bit of prep now- just in case. Photocopy any of his tax returns, mortgage papers, house title, bank accounts etc. Then post them to a good friend/family member. At these times people often try to hide things which makes it more difficult later if you go to court (if it ends up that way). If your child has a passport hide that too. Good luck with what you decide. It's hard to make decisions when your emotions are running.

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    SimplyMum  (23-01-2014)

  9. #7
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    Well he only has his dads (who lives with his partner and her 22y/o daughter) or his grandparents and mum (who live together).

    I kinda have a short term place as my family own an investment property in the city and its currently vacant for 2 weeks - has no 'gear' in it at all (i.e cutlery, pots) but has power on, fridge, washing machine, double bed etc. so for a short-term thing it could work. However I feel the same why should DD have to leave. Obviously if it ends in divorce we would as I couldnt/wouldnt afford the mortgage on this place by myself.

    As for centrelink, what if its temporary (i.e 4months) do I have to be separated for some time before I can claim especially seeing as custody etc. is completely up in the air.

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    I would deal with the here and now.

    Apply for Centrelink. Kick him out (the least disruption to your DD the better)- where he goes is completely up to him. If it ends up working itself out- no harm done, if not- you've made good headway to being more organised.

    I second the photocopy of important paperwork. Very Important!

  11. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Isabellabean View Post
    Well he only has his dads (who lives with his partner and her 22y/o daughter) or his grandparents and mum (who live together).

    I kinda have a short term place as my family own an investment property in the city and its currently vacant for 2 weeks - has no 'gear' in it at all (i.e cutlery, pots) but has power on, fridge, washing machine, double bed etc. so for a short-term thing it could work. However I feel the same why should DD have to leave. Obviously if it ends in divorce we would as I couldnt/wouldnt afford the mortgage on this place by myself.

    As for centrelink, what if its temporary (i.e 4months) do I have to be separated for some time before I can claim especially seeing as custody etc. is completely up in the air.
    If you reconcile in a few months just let Centrelink know and they will update your relationship status and adjust payments accordingly. It's definitely no issue and nothing to stress over.
    Same goes for custody, if things change, just inform centrelink.

    Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

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    I'd suggest discussing the issue with him and trying to resolve the issue depending on how you want to resolve it. Consider that legally you can't make him move out and legally, if you move out, he can apply for a recovery order to get the child back in the family home. If you are determined to separate, it may be worth talking to a lawyer first to see where you stand.


 

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