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  1. #1
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    Default BITERS ARGHHH - DD comes home from daycare with bite marks AGAIN!!

    My 22mo daughter came home from daycare today with not one, but two bites on her. One really nasty one on her arm and the other on her leg. Im absolutely disgusted and very disappointed with her daycare right now. This isn't the first time either, its now he third occasion this has happened in a matter of months.

    I need some advice on what's the best way to approach this common issue please.

    Ive taken photographic evidence and I know they have completed an incident report and talked to her father about it today when he picked her up. Im going to speak to the director tomorrow morning (hopefully im in a good mood) to obtain copies of the incident reports (from all 3 occasions!) and to find out if its come from a known biter, if the parents are aware and how it is being managed by the daycare centre. From there, im thinking of making a formal written complaint.

    Also taking her out of the particular daycare centre is not an easy option at this stage as we both work.

    I completely understand that kids that age can go through a biting stage and it can be horrible for the biters parents and not easy to manage. But as this is the third time she's been attacked, I believe that its occurring due to inadequate supervision. I mean if a child is a chronic biter, then in my opinion they need special care and extra attention (ie never take your eyes off him/her when playing with other kids). "Oh well it happens" is just not going to cut it for me!! Its just not acceptable!

    Is there anything else I should do??
    Last edited by Snooze; 20-01-2014 at 20:29.

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    My son got attacked for a while too, once his beautiful chubby cheek was purple, had teeth marks on his arm another time.

    There isn't much you can do about it though. Kids will be kids and some kids bite, staff should pull them up on it had hopefully it's a stage and doesn't last to long!

    To be fair it can all happen so quickly. Doesn't mean the staff are bad, do you have other concerns ?

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    Biting isn't always because of poor supervision. My first wasn't a biter but my second is. It happens so fast, and it is extremely difficult to discipline a 22 month old. I don't have any advice, but I would cut the Director some slack. As long as it's being reported to you and the biters parents and they are trying management tactics (whatever they may be - I would love to know) then I don't think there is much that can be done. Can they try to separate your child and the biter? Are they biting other children?

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  5. #4
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    My son is a biter and its impossible to prevent. There are about 4 in the room that bite so it's hard to say its from the one kid. It is age appropriate, the staff do their best, nothing I do can stop it. He started at 12 months and it slowed down a lot now but every now and again it happends. Parents of non biters judge and assume its easy to manage when it isn't. It is an issue, it sucks, I hate it, I try, but he will grow out of it and I discipline in an age appropriate way also. Please go easy on the staff, they reported it and intervening when the see it is the only thing they can do, they don't and can't watch or get there in time it's just unrealistic. I think you need to cut the director some slack also and taking photos ?? What will that do?
    Last edited by lilypily; 20-01-2014 at 20:48.

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  7. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    My son is a biter and its impossible to prevent. There are about 4 in the room that bite so it's hard to say its from the one kid. It is age appropriate, the staff do their best, nothing I do can stop it. He started at 12 months and it slowed down a lot now but every now and again it happends. Parents of non biters judge and assume its easy to manage when it isn't. It is an issue, it sucks, I hate it, I try, but he will grow out of it and I discipline in an age appropriate way also. Please go easy on the staff, they reported it and intervening when the see it is the only thing they can do, they don't and can't watch or get there in time it's just unrealistic. I think you need to cut the director some slack also and taking photos ?? What will that do?
    Ok ok cut some slack I get it! Spoken with the director this morning & she actually wasn't aware of the incident so she is looking into it today. Going to give us a copy of the report & find out if parents were notified. The suspect is a problem biter & luckily is only on the same day as my daughter once a fortnight, but apparently there's an incident with this kid every time. I completely understand there is only so much they can do to discipline a child that age, but ultimately if its an ongoing issue that's not improving & becoming a risk to others they can suspend the child - that is what the director told me, her words not mine.

    And I took the photos as evidence of what occured, in the event that I want to make a complaint to the department.

    And for the record I wasn't judging, wasn't assuming its easy to manage - I know its tough. Apology if I.came accros that way. But I do believe that if its a major issue then there needs to be a solid behavior management/age appropriate discipline strategy put in place with the daycare & reinforced at home.

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    We have had ongoing issues with our dd being bitten, the total bites is over a dozen across a period of 2 months. The director at our centre has been excellent, we had a lengthy chat about what they were doing to try to intervene, about how as well as disciplining the bitter, they were teaching dd to react by saying "stop! I don't like it" and words to that effect. After an incident recently, we are offered a meeting with the director which we took and they immediately reimplemented the previous strategies and so far all good. They were also able to tell us that the parents of the biter were taking it very seriously and working with the same strategy as the centre. So I don't think you need to cut slack, I think it's acceptable that you want to know how's it's being handled.
    If you're centre isn't giving you that level of communication maybe you need to push a bit more.

  9. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Snooze View Post
    Ok ok cut some slack I get it! Spoken with the director this morning & she actually wasn't aware of the incident so she is looking into it today. Going to give us a copy of the report & find out if parents were notified. The suspect is a problem biter & luckily is only on the same day as my daughter once a fortnight, but apparently there's an incident with this kid every time. I completely understand there is only so much they can do to discipline a child that age, but ultimately if its an ongoing issue that's not improving & becoming a risk to others they can suspend the child - that is what the director told me, her words not mine.

    And I took the photos as evidence of what occured, in the event that I want to make a complaint to the department.

    And for the record I wasn't judging, wasn't assuming its easy to manage - I know its tough. Apology if I.came accros that way. But I do believe that if its a major issue then there needs to be a solid behavior management/age appropriate discipline strategy put in place with the daycare & reinforced at home.
    Its hard when you are on the receiving end. Also hard when your child is the biter. We have been on both ends. Good luck op!

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Hi OP didn't mean to sound defensive I guess it came over that way. I work with the centre for their strategies at home. I have seen a few of these threads and should just stay out. I hate it when people think its an easy fix and get on their high horse and think its their good parenting that their kids don't bite. I'm glad your centre take it seriously as do mine. My DS has been the bitten and the biter, he's 2.5. Good luck.

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