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  1. #1
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    Default Better parent second time round?

    Are people better parents with their second kid?

    At work the other day a male colleague was asking me about bub number 2.
    - I said "there's less fuss this time around, no baby showers, no choosing names at the 20 week mark, it's business as usual."
    - he replied "yeah the second born usually gets dudded like that but they end up with more competent parents."

    I told hubby this story just now and he told me he used to say to his (older) brother that "the baker always ruins the first batch of scones..."

    ??

  2. #2
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    I am not a better parent but I am always learning and becoming a better person I hope. If that make sense.

    I think I did a great job with dd1.

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    Albert01  (18-01-2014)

  4. #3
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    I think so, more relaxed and certainly way more confident now to speak my mind.

  5. #4
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I still think we are learning with #1, he has sort of paved the way for #2 and #3 and I feel a bit more confident with what does and doesn't work for us than I did with him. I certainly don't think he is a dud! I just felt more confident with #2 and #3.

    But I was unlucky and didn't have the best springboard into motherhood, so that probably makes a difference.

  6. #5
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    I think Its a constant learning curve because every baby is different and or challening in different ways. I should add that I am more relaxed with my second baby but he is much easier than my first was. I feel like Im still a learner because he has his own challenges and is a completely different baby.
    Last edited by Purple Lily; 18-01-2014 at 21:05.

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    LoveLivesHere  (18-01-2014)

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    I feel calmer and more confident this time around. That makes me more affectionate and more patient (and hence a bit better as a parent). DD1 isn't a dud, on fact she's a tough little cookie who's trained us up nicely

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    headoverfeet  (18-01-2014)

  10. #7
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    I don't know if that really was the case for me, in some ways I think it was the opposite, I struggled when my 2nd was born, she came not long after my 1st and it was so stressful having 2 littlies to deal with, I was tired and worn out and didn't have the time or patience to really do things properly.
    With my 1st I was patient, thoughtful, had time to do everything well and how I wanted to do it with her, she was spoilt though.

    I think that relaxed feeling didn't really come till I had my 3rd who was born a few years after our 2nd, it was much more relaxing, my first 2 were independent by then and I had more time to attend to him, I felt relaxed because I had done it all before.

    But constantly I am aiming to be the great parent I was with my 1st baby but managing to do so with all 3 of them.

    It's a tough job this parenting gig!

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    I'm not sure I'm better second time round. DS has always been full on, constantly wanting company and attention - he literally cannot play on his own (still at 7!). DD will play on her own and I will happily let her so sometimes I feel like I did more with DS than her. DS I never got into a routine, that kid would just not sleep so we were forever out, DD was great with routines so we were home a lot more. But it's other things, DS is a great eater and despite doing the same foods I did with him, DD is a shocker but somehow I don't seem to have tackled it as well as I did with him, she seems to have got away with it but I'm not sure how.

    At the moment they are driving me so bonkers I don't feel like a good parent to either of them!

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    I've only got one right now, but I think I will be much more confident and relaxed next time. I used to stress heaps when DS wouldn't settle but now it doesn't bother me so much because I can usually work out what's wrong, and I know he sometimes just has bad days and it's ok. I think next time I'll also be more confident to speak up for my baby when I'm not happy with how someone else is with him, there was one day when we had people over when DS was a newborn and he was crying his eyes out and no one would give him back to me, next time I won't let that happen.
    I know the next baby might be totally different but I think I will still be a better mum because I've learned so much already

  13. #10
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    I think I've done the best job I could do at that time with each of my kids but I was definitely a much happier, more confident and more relaxed parent second time around.


 

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