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  1. #1
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    Default 1 year old aggressive behaviour and tantrums

    My 1 year old has gotten progressively more aggressive and temperamental over the past 3 or so months. I'm not sure if it's normal behaviour or something I should be worried about.

    Examples of the difficulties are extreme crying and throwing herself backwards or out of my arms when I tell her no, for example if she wants to play with something she shouldn't. Also she scratches and slaps me in the face and pulls my hair all the time. So far it's just limited to me although she has just this week started with my DH and Mum as well. Is this normal for her age?

    Anyone have experience with this or any suggestions on how to deal with it? Any help would be really appreciated; it's starting to get me down and sometimes I lose my temper and shout which I hate; I just really need some tried and tested advice.

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    My DD1 does the same type of things (she gets very physical with me, and very occasionally with DH). I tell her in a stern tone of voice "No, be gentle with Mummy". I praise her when she is gentle or affectionate with me.
    It helps She's started to pat me rather than hit me, and she is affectionate a lot more than she used to be (she's probably out growing it too, she's around 16 months now).

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    Subbing, cause this sounds like my DD at the moment.

    I'm starting to get worried as DD1 wasn't like this at all. She screams quite loudly in a high pitched voice when she doesn't get her own way or is just cranky about something.

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    Sounds like an early onset of the terrible 2s.

    Same thing happened with ds2, at about 18months. I just laid down the law with 'no' etc etc and it seemed to pass after a little while

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    I find at this age distraction works better than always saying no because they just don't really understand yet. Of course I do say no for some things that I think are very important or dangerous but otherwise just try and draw his attention elsewhere. When he's older consequences will be effective

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    I'm having it with my 20 month old DD too, subbing

  8. #7
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    My almost 18 month old DD behaves in a similar way sometimes. DS never did.

    DD is often irritable and tends to lash out, more so with DS and DH. If she's in a bad mood (usually when tired) she will swipe at their faces if they happen to come close enough to her when trying to give her a kiss or hug- she also pinches and digs her nails into my skin. She seems to find my reaction funny/interesting, especially if I say "oww or ouch".. she will try and scratch my neck while I'm holding her and says "ouch".
    She went through the stage (at around 12-14 months) where she would throw herself backwards, which terrified me as she was doing it from a sitting position and smacking the back of her head onto the floor; she would also do it suddenly whilst in my arms and I was so scared she would fall out of my arms one day as she thrust herself back with such force! Thankfully that phase was short lived.

    I would like to say it's a normal part of their development? As long as it isn't all day everyday I would just see how she goes over the next couple of months OP and continue with teaching her that it isn't acceptable behaviour, using a firm "No" and also distraction when she is in the middle of a tantrum, for eg; I point something out in the room or start talking about what we are about to do (let's read a book, do you want a banana, where's Elmo? etc) and try to not make a big deal or fuss as that can sometimes exasperate the situation.
    Good luck, you're not alone
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 18-01-2014 at 20:55.

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    Dd did similar things at around that age too, it was short lived, I tried paying very little attention to it, a few times just pull her away, or put her down. A few that hurts mummy, and telling her gentle, but then realising well what the hell is gentle to her?? It's just a word, in quiet times I'd demonstrate gentle, stroke her face or get her hand and stroke my face and teach her gentle and really make it a nice experience, now when she's a bit ratty ill ask her, what's gentle, or where's your gentle hands, and she'll start patting me... Saying 'pat mummy' and I make sure I show how much I enjoy and love that. She's taken to kicking at nappy change lately, so I've called her feet, kissing feet, so she holds them still while I kiss/eat her feet . then she laughs, it can be hard to remind myself to do sometimes, because there are times where I'm like 'just stop it feral child!!' In bad moods and when im strung out, I hold her feet, and say no, but this usually makes her worse. And she laughs at me. Then I get cranky and she cries, then know body's happy. I'm going with the theory its pretty normal.


 

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