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  1. #31
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    I actually had a big talk t her the other da about it. Didn't go down well. She said she was be crazy and over protective an that I'm t young to know how to look after a baby full time and I should be more appreciative of her offerings. She also said DF is a w@nker and started slinging a few other names about myself as well. I tried to stay calm but ended up storming out of there.
    I rang her last night and she seems to be pretending it never happened now. Oh well she might back off a bit now on the offers. I love her to bits just nee to wait and see how it all goes well guess.

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    eeekkk, insulting you and your partner is way out of line!

    just always remind her that you are not doubting her...just happy to care for your bubs yourself.

    be hard to forget her dissing you guys though...sounds like she is implying she should care for bub as she thinks you guys are not capable!

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  4. #33
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    Omg seriously!!! Well hon you were certainly right to be worried. What a *****! She wants to take your baby because she thinks you don't know how to look after her?! See? I told you, she thinks SHE knows best. Well too bloody bad it's not her baby is it? And to go a step further to disrespect your husband- the baby's father? How ****ing rude. Do you really want someone who thinks like that around your child and influencing them? What does your DH think? Far out. I thought she might be hurt but I wasn't expecting the bitter tirade that she spewed in your direction. Way to show her true colours hey? I wouldn't want her baby sitting after that if I were you. Please think long and hard about what she said- she's not exactly supportive if she thinks you're unfit. Do not trust her!
    Last edited by KaraB; 24-01-2014 at 12:57.

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharlieJayn View Post
    I actually had a big talk t her the other da about it. Didn't go down well. She said she was be crazy and over protective an that I'm t young to know how to look after a baby full time and I should be more appreciative of her offerings. She also said DF is a w@nker and started slinging a few other names about myself as well. I tried to stay calm but ended up storming out of there.
    I rang her last night and she seems to be pretending it never happened now. Oh well she might back off a bit now on the offers. I love her to bits just nee to wait and see how it all goes well guess.
    I would just tell her that you're not ready to spend time apart from your baby and leave it at that. You don't owe her an excuse or reason. You may not ever be ready for her to look after your child, and if she's got half a brain she'll get the hint when you never take her up on the offer.

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  8. #35
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    Have to agree with the PP's. She's totally waaaaaay out of line. I'd be ensuring that you keep a bit of distance and some definite boundaries in place from here on out. I'd tell my own mother to get stuffed if she'd even said half the things that your aunt has said and done. Extremely not cool and not a good thing for you or bub. Tread carefully.

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  10. #36
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    Just to add- we all have to learn how to look after a baby first time around by trial and error. I'm sure your aunt had to as well or how else would she know what to do now? It's so unfair for her to think and say those things about you and completely unfounded. Imagine how she would feel if someone said that to her about her baby? I can only imagine.. Her wanting to help isn't wanting to help she wants to take your baby as much as possible because she doesn't think you can or know how. This is not support- this is undermining you as a mother. Please don't allow her to do this. It was done to me and I was too depressed at the time to stick up for myself and say no. By the time I was able to the damage had been done and almost 16 years later my relationship with my first is still not like with my other children. And the people who took over are nowhere to be found. You know what's best for your baby you are her mother- never ever doubt that. You have proved it already with your alarm bells about your aunt- you were spot on.

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  12. #37
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    Gosh she is rude. I would have told her to jam it. And cut ties. She sounds like a looney.

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  14. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharlieJayn View Post
    I actually had a big talk t her the other da about it. Didn't go down well. She said she was be crazy and over protective an that I'm t young to know how to look after a baby full time and I should be more appreciative of her offerings. She also said DF is a w@nker and started slinging a few other names about myself as well. I tried to stay calm but ended up storming out of there.
    I rang her last night and she seems to be pretending it never happened now. Oh well she might back off a bit now on the offers. I love her to bits just nee to wait and see how it all goes well guess.
    This right here should tell you that your first instinct was right. My mil was always trying to take over the raising of DD when she was born and it started out with her telling me constantly to leave DD with her and go out with DH and when DD was 16 months old I did we went out for dinner and those 2 hours were the biggest mistake that I wish I could take back. After that little baby sitting stunt she decided she was more capable of raising my daughter then I was and tried to take over toilet training her, giving her foods and drinks I said she couldn't have because she had bad reactions to them and the worst one trying to get DD to call her Mummy. I was always told when if comes to your children trust your first instinct even if others tell you it's wrong, they are your children not theirs.

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  16. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by loodle View Post
    This right here should tell you that your first instinct was right. My mil was always trying to take over the raising of DD when she was born and it started out with her telling me constantly to leave DD with her and go out with DH and when DD was 16 months old I did we went out for dinner and those 2 hours were the biggest mistake that I wish I could take back. After that little baby sitting stunt she decided she was more capable of raising my daughter then I was and tried to take over toilet training her, giving her foods and drinks I said she couldn't have because she had bad reactions to them and the worst one trying to get DD to call her Mummy. I was always told when if comes to your children trust your first instinct even if others tell you it's wrong, they are your children not theirs.
    You poor thing! This is my pet hate older women relatives taking over with babies and mums in the family thinking they know better. So wrong- so ugly. Lucky you realized early on. I couldn't agree more - always trust your instincts as a mother. Thanks for sharing

  17. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by loodle View Post
    This right here should tell you that your first instinct was right. My mil was always trying to take over the raising of DD when she was born and it started out with her telling me constantly to leave DD with her and go out with DH and when DD was 16 months old I did we went out for dinner and those 2 hours were the biggest mistake that I wish I could take back. After that little baby sitting stunt she decided she was more capable of raising my daughter then I was and tried to take over toilet training her, giving her foods and drinks I said she couldn't have because she had bad reactions to them and the worst one trying to get DD to call her Mummy. I was always told when if comes to your children trust your first instinct even if others tell you it's wrong, they are your children not theirs.
    Omg!! That's so scary.

    DF was happy when I told him. He reckons she must be under the impression that we didnt want bub. No she was not completely planned but she was beyond wanted and loved from the moment we found out. My aunt just seems to be pre tending it never happened.

    I won't be visiting for a while as this has freaked me out and I'm pretty insulted by the whole thing. DF said if I visited again he will be coming and I she mentions leaving bub with her or repeats any of her insults he will tell h where to shove her opinions. Spoke to my cousin as well (her daughter) and she said she thinks it's strange too. feeling kinda crappy now though because she was the only person in my family that i Regularly got to see.

    Thanks everyone for your replies

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