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  1. #21
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    I agree with the above^^ It's only helping if you're asked or someone gratefully accepts the help offered. It's something else entirely when they try to force it on you when you've already declined over and over. My mum and I were close when I was a baby and her family -sisters ect forced her into leaving me with them when she didnt want to making her feel like something was wrong with her for not wanting to be separated from me yet. She still remembers it funnily enough when I had my first my aunt came to visit with my grandmother in hospital the day after I had her and my aunt just took her straight out of my arms and when she cried she wouldn't give her back to me telling me that I'm 'going to have to get used to it sometime'. Grr. Kids grow up too quickly as it is. Trust me there will be plenty of separation when they are teenagers. My almost 16 year old lives in her room. It's hard not to take personally but it's quite common apparently. I say enjoy them and love them up as much as possible while you can, they don't stay babies for long

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    Trust your instincts!

  3. #23
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    I would feel the same. One offer is kindness multiple refused offers is something else. My DD is 8 months and I haven't left her with anyone but her dad. Not because I can't but because I don't want to. I want to experience as much as I can her growing up. So do what you feel is right.

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  5. #24
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    This happened to my ex Mil, it was her grandmother though and in the end her son ended up living with her because she would buy him expensive toys etc and he refused to come home, I'd put a stop to it asap, tell her you don't need to go out to enjoy yourself and the you are happy with the baby but thanks anyway

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  7. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by PipersMummy View Post
    This happened to my ex Mil, it was her grandmother though and in the end her son ended up living with her because she would buy him expensive toys etc and he refused to come home, I'd put a stop to it asap, tell her you don't need to go out to enjoy yourself and the you are happy with the baby but thanks anyway

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    This is what I'm so worried about

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    OP you don't have to worry about that since you're not leaving your baby with her anything like every day. In my situation I ended up with major attachment issues with my daughter but family took over from very early on. It was the strangest thing my baby acted as if I wasn't there, like I was invisible. But was very, very curious and engaging with everyone else. Just don't give in to her pressure, she's had her children this is your precious time as a new mum I would be more concerned about her being respectful of your wishes generally if she has no problem trying to coerce you into leaving your baby with her when you clearly don't want to. Again I think she's fairly harmless but sounds like she thinks she knows better and will do what 'she' thinks is best in your absence regardless of what you want.

  9. #27
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    If you feel anxious with your Aunt looking after your child then don't. As pp's have said, trust your instinct. I would love to go out on occasion outside of work hours but I'm only comfortable with a select few people looking after my DD aged 21 months.

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  11. #28
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    You need to talk to her and tell her you aren't interested in going out and don't need a a babysitter often but will let her know when you do. Make her understand without hurting her feelings.

  12. #29
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    The OP had already tried to tell her she doesn't need a sitter all the time, she keeps persisting with the whole go out and enjoy yourself thing ect. That's why she's uneasy. I'm not suggesting that she be rude to her though.

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    It does sound like she wants to be helpful...but the persisting when you have said no and buying all the stuff for her house is a bit ott.

    I would sit down and have a firm but nice chat and explain that you love spending time with bubs and you really don't plan on leaving them with anyone for extended periods.

    Tell her that you appreciate the thought she has put in and that if you ever need a sitter you will ask. Let her know that the constant offering is making you uncomfortable.

    Tell her that leaving bubs with dad is always going to be the choice if it is not both of you going out together.

    In her heart she prob means well (maybe she did that and her own kids loved it) but just let her know (in a kind way) that you are not ready for that.


 

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