+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 44
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,645
    Thanks
    15,089
    Thanked
    11,254
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    Trust your instincts.

    If you don't want to leave Bub with don't. Just keep telling her you don't want to leave Bub. That it part of your parenting style. Google attachment parenting and give her some of that info.

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    kezanazz  (24-01-2014),mrsoptomistic  (24-01-2014),TableDancer  (17-01-2014)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,487
    Thanks
    449
    Thanked
    1,571
    Reviews
    12
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think you are extremely fortunate & should be grateful. As someone that has no family around and has not had one night alone with my husband in 5 years I think you should just enjoy that you do have the help and make the most of it when you feel comfortable to do so. If you don't want to leave bub, just don't, it's your child.

  4. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MummaOJ For This Useful Post:

    kw123  (17-01-2014),MissMuppet  (18-01-2014),ozeymumof5  (24-01-2014),Wise Enough  (17-01-2014)

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    5,005
    Thanks
    1,052
    Thanked
    3,524
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    Trust your instincts.

    If you don't want to leave Bub with don't. Just keep telling her you don't want to leave Bub. That it part of your parenting style. Google attachment parenting and give her some of that info.
    Not wanting to leave a 6 month old does not make you AP (as I'm sure the many APs on here will tell you)....

    Anyway sorry to digress

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to kw123 For This Useful Post:

    KaraB  (17-01-2014)

  7. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Brisbane Northside
    Posts
    210
    Thanks
    42
    Thanked
    87
    Reviews
    0
    @ Mumma oj and #1fan, I can kind of see that where your coming from. I guess no one else has been this keen to help out that I just kinda freaked out. I've just never been around people that want t help without being asked and I guess I expected it to be like it is with my mum. Who stands back and supports from a distance.

  8. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Newcastle, NSW
    Posts
    6,648
    Thanks
    99
    Thanked
    862
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Sounds like she is just excited to have a baby in her life again and wants to help out.

    From what you've said i see no reasons for alarm bells she just sounds eager to babysit.

  9. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    4,589
    Thanks
    1,302
    Thanked
    2,569
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Tell her you aren't ready to leave bub but when you are you know where she is.

  10. #17
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2,051
    Thanks
    8,078
    Thanked
    1,258
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think I understand you OP. I had a similar thing happen when I had my first baby only I had pnd quite badly and was terribly vulnerable at the time. Instead of love and support my grandmother called me every single day to see if I wanted her to take the baby. If I tried to talk about my feelings she would snatch her from my arms, I was so depressed I just let her take over because I believed her that I wasn't good enough she still recalls those days taking my baby as the best of her life which is horrible to me because they were some of my worst and her happiness came at my expense. I realize your situation is different but the pushiness is the same. I don't think she wants to steal your baby or anything though and maybe she's convinced herself that her only motivation is to help you. But I think she probably just loves your baby and wants as much time as possible with her with little regard for your feelings about it or the fact that you've clearly told her that you don't want to go out and 'have fun'. The alarm bells for you I think is that you can see that this isn't just about helping you if she's pushing the issue despite you saying you didn't need a sitter all the time. That would make me uncomfortable too because she's not operating with respect for your wishes. Its sounds almost like shes trying to manipulate you into leaving her with you more so she can enjoy looking after her. All in all it's probably harmless I suppose but she sounds like she has some selfish motivations as well. This is your baby and your time to bond and enjoy bubs you shouldn't have to be forever having to explain why you want her close.
    Last edited by KaraB; 17-01-2014 at 18:52.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to KaraB For This Useful Post:

    LoveLivesHere  (17-01-2014)

  12. #18
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,645
    Thanks
    15,089
    Thanked
    11,254
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    Not wanting to leave a 6 month old does not make you AP (as I'm sure the many APs on here will tell you)....

    Anyway sorry to digress
    I agree. But there is lots of info I'm the ap community that could help the op get her aunt to understand that she doesn't want to leave the baby.

    I have been ap for 20 years

  13. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    kw123  (17-01-2014),mrsoptomistic  (24-01-2014),mrswhitehouse  (04-02-2014)

  14. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Brisbane Northside
    Posts
    210
    Thanks
    42
    Thanked
    87
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by KaraB View Post
    I think I understand you OP. I had a similar thing happen when I had my first baby only I had pnd quite badly and was terribly vulnerable at the time. Instead of love and support my grandmother called me every single day to see if I wanted her to take the baby. If I tried to talk about my feelings she would snatch her from my arms, I was so depressed I just let her take over because I believed her that I wasn't good enough she still recalls those days taking my baby as the best of her life which is horrible to me because they were some of my worst and her happiness came at my expense. I realize your situation is different but the pushiness is the same. I don't think she wants to steal your baby or anything though and maybe she's convinced herself that her only motivation is to help you. But I think she probably just loves your baby and wants as much time as possible with her with little regard for your feelings about it or the fact that you've clearly told her that you don't want to go out and 'have fun'. The alarm bells for you I think is that you can see that this isn't just about helping you if she's pushing the issue despite you saying you didn't need a sitter all the time. That would make me uncomfortable too because she's not operating with respect for your wishes. Its sounds almost like shes trying to manipulate you into leaving her with you more so she can enjoy looking after her. All in all it's probably harmless I suppose but she sounds like she has some selfish motivations as well. This is your baby and your time to bond and enjoy bubs you shouldn't have to be forever having to explain why you want her close.
    I like this explanation. It makes sense and does capture what I Ment by alarm bells. I honestly couldn't find the words to describe it. Now I think it is just time I ha a big talk to her about it. Thank you for sharing your own experience too

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to Butterscotch For This Useful Post:

    KaraB  (17-01-2014)

  16. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    1,391
    Thanks
    812
    Thanked
    688
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I get really ****ed off when people tell me I should leave my baby with them when I've already said no a million times. But I don't think there's much you can do, some people only care about what they want, not what's best for you or your baby. Not saying that your aunt is like that but it would still be frustrating not being listened to.

  17. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to DarcyJ For This Useful Post:

    KaraB  (18-01-2014),LoCo  (24-01-2014),MINIRoo  (18-01-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Anyone used a snuza alarm?
    By LittleGumnut in forum Product Recommendations & Questions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 18-11-2013, 14:35
  2. Freaked at false alarm, now feel sad...WTF?!?!
    By Freyamum in forum Should we have another baby?
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 16-05-2013, 14:11

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
TPS Health Physiotherapy and Pilates
TPS Health Physiotherapy and Pilates has three clinics located at Morningside, Redlands and Lutwyche. We offer pre and post natal services as well as physiotherapy and Pilates. All clinics offer child minding services so bubs are always welcome!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!