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  1. #1
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    Default This is ringing alarm bells! Am I being silly?

    Hey I'm new on here so not sure how it all works so sorry if I have done something wrong.
    I basically just need advice on my aunt. Before having my first bub (Fiances 3rd) we moved away from my parents to be closer to his and my other extended family ect. So since having our daughter I've spent a lot of time visiting my aunt as a sort of replacement for my mother (that's not ment to sound horrible lol.)

    Bubs now just on 6 months and lately my aunt has been getting really pushy (in a seemingly helpful way) Saying that I should go out an ect and she is more than happy to look after her. She says that I'm missing out on things ( I'm 19 ) that I should be doing at my age.

    Since about 4 months she has also starting buying biggest ticket items for bub, like a cot just for her place and a high chair. What I don't understand is I have only left by once with her and this was to drive about 10 minutes each way to a bakery and an IGA. So I'm confused as to why she thinks she needs these things at her house.

    She just seems to be getting more and more encouraging about me leaving bub with her to "have a good time."
    Fiancé says she might just be trying to be helpful and what not but he isn't there often and when he is she seems to dim it down.

    I'm really not sure if I'm just being over the top paranoid about this or if she is just trying to be helpful in her own way.

    Thoughts?

  2. #2
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    What exactly are the alarm bells for you? Do you think she wants your baby?

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    Does your aunt have children of her own? Ie is she likely to have grandchildren ever, or is your child the closest she'll get? Cause if that's the case, then I guess it's the same as many first time grandparents kitting their house out with baby stuff too (ie my mother!) I agree that it's not really necessary, but it doesn't do any harm...

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    Some people just really enjoy having babies around - especially if they're related. This can work really well, but only if you feel comfortable leaving your baby with them.

    A lady I used to work with had a fully set up nursery at her house for her granddaughter, and a car seat permanently in her car - her daughter was 18 at the time. I thought it was a little over the top, but she said she wanted her daughter to feel comfortable leaving the baby there, so she could enjoy some time to herself and know that bub was fully provided for.

    Maybe see if you can get your aunt talking about why she bought the items so you can figure out what her motivation is?

  5. #5
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    My parents and sister are fully set up also for our visit.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilypily View Post
    What exactly are the alarm bells for you? Do you think she wants your baby?
    I dont really know. I just find it alarming that she seems so pushy to get rid of me all the time. She keeps telling me to go out and party and so on with free baby sitting even though I have mad it clear I am not interested in going out. I am going around Less and she continues to call all day and pops around unexpected and it always seems like she is checking up on me. About a week ago I Left bub with fiancé to do the grocerys an she turned up staying for a little for the tea with fiancé then left and rang me to ask why you hadn't taken bub there instead. Um he is her father??

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    Quote Originally Posted by Monkey'sMummy View Post
    Does your aunt have children of her own? Ie is she likely to have grandchildren ever, or is your child the closest she'll get? Cause if that's the case, then I guess it's the same as many first time grandparents kitting their house out with baby stuff too (ie my mother!) I agree that it's not really necessary, but it doesn't do any harm...
    She does have her own kids. 1 has children now and lives not far away with her husband. My aunt sees their kids regularly.

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    In your situation if it were my family, I would just assume she is trying to be helpful.

    My parents have a full setup at their place for our girls as well as car seats for the both of them and I've never left DD2 with them and she's 4 months. So maybe your aunt is stepping into the shoes your mum might fill if you were living closer to her?

    As pp have said, some people just love babies! Maybe just have a chat to her and say you appreciate the offer but you just don't want to leave bubs yet, and you know the offer is there and you'll reach out when you're ready

  10. #9
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    One of the ladies spent a fortune settling up her house with a nursery for her first grandchild. She has him over quite often for sleepovers and he is about 6mths old. Its been a win win for both daughter and mother.

    I dont see the harm in it. Have you had much down time without baby?

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  11. #10
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    Sorry but what alarm balls are ringing exactly? That implies you think she is dodgy/has ulterior motives so you must have thought about what they might be?

    She sounds like a great relation to me. As someone who has zero family support I think you should try and appreciate it. No don't go out if you don't want to, but having the offer and being able to say no is pretty great.


 

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