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  1. #1
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    Default Donating eggs to a dear friend

    Wow. I never thought I'd be back in the fertility and conception section... My kids are 3 and 6 and we are blessed to have them, and have completed our family. My dear friend was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma, and after chemo and radiation was excited to find she was in remission (she has been in remission for 17 months now! Unfortunately the chemo has put her body into early menopause and she and her hubby (who were married in the middle of her chemo treatment) will need to use an egg donor.

    I discussed offering to donate my eggs to her about 12 months ago with my hubby and we were both keen, so I offered. My friend and I have spoken about it over the past 12 months and now she has got the all clear from her oncologist and fertility specialist to start from July/August (2 years in remission).

    Now it all starts! I'm off to meet her FS to have a chat in the next month and to get all of the initial bloods and scans sorted. I'm excited for her, but a bit nervous about the IVF drugs.... All to be expected I'm sure! I am also very unhappy in my job right now, and have been applying for other opportunities, but now I am thinking I should stick it out for this year as I will be needing time off......

    Anyway, I'm sure I will have questions for all of you lovely ladies! Am off to have a read of this section of the forum right now

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mum2EandR For This Useful Post:

    BH-KatiesMum  (24-07-2014),Daisy Duck  (30-07-2014)

  3. #2
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    hello there after reading your posted congratulation on your baby and for thinking about friend and that is wonderful that your friend is in remission i9 do hope that she keep well and that both your journey work out and you both reach BFP and gorgeous babies good luckjojo

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    What a lovely thing to do - all the best to you and your friend!
    Em x

  5. #4
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Hi @Mum2EandR what a fab gift you are giving! Are you a part of the Egg Donation Australia facebook page by chance?

  6. #5
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    What a lovely thing to do for your friend. I'm glad to hear she's doing so well!

    How do you think you'll go with the challenges that lie ahead in a known donation?
    The prospect was too overwhelming for my husband and I and we ended up using an anonymous donor.

    You shouldn't need much time off work, the odd hour or so every few days for about two weeks in the lead up to egg retrieval for a scan (5 mins) and/or blood test and than perhaps the day of and the day after retrieval. It just feels a bit like a painful period. Have you done an IVF cycle before?

    All the best

  7. #6
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    Thanks for well wishes guys!

    No I'm not on Facebook, so not a member of any egg donation pages

    We (my husband and I) and my friend and her husband are all on the same page regarding the issues that come with a 'known' donation. We are all coming from a very scientific viewpoint (they are both Dr's and we aren't religious at all). Our opinion is that the egg is just a cell. And by simply producing that egg, doesn't make you a mother. I am really not emotionally attached to that part of me - it would be like me donating my bone marrow or blood to her - once it's introduced to her it stops being 'me' and becomes 'her'. If that makes sense?? We have decided to only explain it to our kids when they are old enough to understand the science of reproduction and it will be explained that way, not emotionally...

    Hope that makes sense?

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    Nope no IVF cycle before, I was lucky enough to fall naturally with my two kids despite my endometriosis xx

  10. #8
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    I completely understand how you explained donation because that is exactly the same way that we feel about it and part of the reason we decided to use an overseas anon donor.
    I trawled the Australia egg donor forums and was really uncomfortable with the way donors spoke about the children resulting from their donated cells and the way they were involved in their lives. Lots of them spoke like they'd given a child up for adoption!
    So I completely understand!

    You'll be fine with IVF and retrieval, it's more of a mind over matter thing!

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    MGC Bertie  (21-07-2014),Mum2EandR  (18-01-2014)

  12. #9
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    Thanks Alice, that puts my mind at ease a lot!!

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    I just wanted to say, I think your an amazing person & sending you all positive vibes for the journey ahead.

    I am going through ivf and have been for 12 months, I have been lucky and not really felt any effects of the drugs - I hope you are the same!!


 

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