I don't see any bashing of young mums on this thread, just people giving their opinion. Especially OP as you asked for it? You asked what "older" mums think?
Almost every person has said age has no bearing on the ability to be a good mum.
I dont understand why you are getting so angry Cass? in neither thread have I read anything nasty. If you are a young mum and want more, then good for you. As long as you look after your kids properly, then that's none of anyone's business. I admit I get pretty judgy with parents (of all ages) that don't put their kids first and look after them. Older parents can do that too though. So it's not an age thing for me.
Are you happy with your choices? if you are then don't worry.
I don't judge women who want a different life than I did. I have never said that women who don't want a career outside the home aren't making valid choices. You're a SAHM? Good on you, that's a tough job.
I judge women who have kids when they are not in a good position to do so: young or old. When they are not financially secure, when they have only been in a relationship for a short time, when they want to study but have not done so yet. Sure this can apply to old and young parents.
As for the financially secure aspect different people have different definitions of what is secure. For me if you are young and renting a small place, don't have a job, and your partners income is such that you will need to rely on welfare for most of the child rearing then yes I judge you for damning your kids to a life close to the poverty line. If this doesn't describe your situation then my words are not directed at you. I've unfortunately seen too many friends live really tough lives because they had kids when they were young and before they were ready. Are they good parents: most of them. But gee they have it tough.
I never said that a 20 year old can't be mature. But it's a fact of life that the human brain doesn't fully develop/mature until on average 25 years of age. Sorry if that offends.
I'm sure you're a good Mum and hats off to you for being a SAHM, I couldn't do that job it would drive me nuts (genuinely no offence intended with that!).
Last edited by VicPark; 16-01-2014 at 20:32.
I think you need to let it go???
Kids can't live on love alone.
I'm actually grateful that we don't have to scrimp and budget strictly and live on pasta and home brands. We can get take away if we cbf cooking. We can go on family holidays a few times a year without the budget/savings taking a big hit.
I choose to work. I don't have to, but it helps maintain the lifestyle we want. I'm lucky enough that working part time brings home a good wage because I studied. I'm lucky that my husband earns really good money. We live in a nice area close to the beach and city. None of this would've been achievable if I had kids in my teens or early 20's.
And this was a very nice thread in till about 4 pages ago. I tried to respond to people politely and in a non argumentative way and then I come back to a thread full post about why its better to wait and why young people don't always make good parents.
I'm not going to lie, I want my children to wait for kids until 25. If they didn't I'd support their decision and love them and my grandchildren unconditionally. But yes, I want them to finish uni, work a few years at least (especially DD so she has a career to go back to). I want them to travel, go to the movies and dinner without worrying about a babysitter. Get life experience. Life experience helps you make better decisions.
Does that mean I think young parents are bad parents? not at all.
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