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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    And before anyone thinks that "being a mum is all you want" is an insult it is not. What I mean is, if being a mum is what you want from life to the exclusion of other things. Not "all" as in a belittling term.
    No I get that, I didn't take it as an insult because that's how I feel.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassJ View Post
    I think that what bothers me so much is the assumptions people make.
    I didn't go to uni so I missed out, when I didn't want to go to uni (I could have) I just didn't want a career. If I hadn't met DH I maybe would have but it would have been a time filler for me.
    I had children young, first one must have been an accident, when in truth we tried for a year to fall with him.
    There's a big age difference, they must have different dads, yes a mum at kindy actually asked me this but we tired for 2 years for our second.
    My children are well groomed and really great kids, we have a nice home and car (not to say these things make you a better parent, just saying). DH has a good job, has always had a good job and people still assume they know my family. Sorry little bit of a rant lol.
    You don't have to convince me

    Older mums cop just as much criticism. If you are happy in your life, then to he'll with what people think. What kind of people do you feel judge you?

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    peanutmonkey  (16-01-2014)

  5. #33
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    I don't have any prejudices against young mums. I was 20 when I had my first. If anything I feel a bit protective of them in the sense that I think they are often railroaded by family and friends who don't allow them to learn the way we all did first time around. They often try to take over and I hate that, unless of course the mum is asking for help, that's different. I just hate the assumption that they don't know what they are doing when quite often they do. I was a pretty confident with it all and knew I could do it, it was other people who undermined my confidence and self worth with my first experience as a mother.
    Last edited by KaraB; 16-01-2014 at 10:20.

  6. #34
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    Age does not bother me, everyone is different, I find on here and in real life older mums seemed to be judged more ( I was 40 when I had DS) most of my friends had their kids in their late 20,s , early 30,s , my SIL just had her first at 30 and if I had my time over ( and had met DH then!) I think that's "my" perfect age , she's travelled, has the career and can afford to take 5 years off work and then can still easily go back to her career

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clementine Grace View Post
    You don't have to convince me

    Older mums cop just as much criticism. If you are happy in your life, then to he'll with what people think. What kind of people do you feel judge you?
    Honestly the first time I felt judged was when I was pregnant for the first time and my midwife was HORRIBLE about me being young and basically ignored me my whole labour, (which ending up putting DS1's life in danger), then I got a younger midwife and she was lovely and helped me finish my labour.
    (this most likely plays a big part in making this an issue for me)

    Then the other time I felt most judged was Kindy, it was an expensive private kindy and the mums their were just so rude and clicky.
    Last edited by CassJ; 16-01-2014 at 10:29.

  8. #36
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    People assume I am a single mother or that my kids have different dads because I dont wear a wedidng ring, I'm so young and my kids are so young. It used to hurt me when people assumed things like this. But now it honestly doesnt bother me. I am happily married with awesome kids. What do I have to be upset about?

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  9. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    People assume I am a single mother or that my kids have different dads because I dont wear a wedidng ring, I'm so young and my kids are so young. It used to hurt me when people assumed things like this. But now it honestly doesnt bother me. I am happily married with awesome kids. What do I have to be upset about?

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    That's true, I have a wonderful life. I should properly shut up and enjoy in lol.

  10. #38
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    Last edited by kezty; 16-01-2014 at 10:42.

  11. #39
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    I don't think that younger mum equals bad or incompetent mum - there are good younger mums, just as there are good older mums. But I wonder if younger mums miss out on being able to be young and carefree, because they take on serious responsibility so young. I loved having years of being financially independent and being able to do what I wanted, without obligations, before having a child. I also worry that by having children young, women can put themselves behind the 8-ball in terms of study, career and finances, and it's then a lot harder for them to juggle those along with kids.

    I know it comes down to personal choice and priorities, but I think it's natural to look at other people's situations through the filter of your own concerns and perspectives on life. There are obviously many women who have a totally different perspective and don't feel at all like they've missed out. I don't condemn others for choosing to have children young (and am glad that they're happy!) but I'd encourage my own kids to wait until they're older (because that's coming from my own perspective and experiences).

    Younger mums may feel judged by older mums, but older mums can also feel judged by younger mums. There is sometimes the implication that we're selfish for waiting, or that we're on zimmer-frames and won't be able to play or have fun with our kids, neither of which is the case.
    Last edited by Gentoo; 16-01-2014 at 11:17.

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  13. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassJ View Post
    If that's aimed at me, I think you need to reread my post.
    It wasn't at all aimed at you - it was a general comment to those judgmental older parents. Sorry if you took offence at all

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