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  1. #141
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    I was 25 when I had my son, so not young but not old either, and I still get judgement. I don't think it matters, as pp said, if someone is the type to be judgemental, they will find something to critique you on.

    That being said, I don't really consider a 20 year old to be a "young mum" in the sense that you are talking about, as in being judged by society. It's on the younger side, but you are an adult, you've finished school, and if having children is your priority over other things 20 year olds do, like university or partying, then go for it.

    I see 'young mums' as those between 15 and 18 or so, and I don't judge them, I just worry that they've set themselves up for such a hard time. Finishing school at the same time as raising a child and worrying about finances, a relationship and all those adult things, mostly all by yourself because your friends are still all about school and partying would just be so hard, and I don't think anyone could deny that.

  2. #142
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarylee View Post
    While I respect your opinion I believe that everyone's idea of 'living' is different. I always wanted to be a mother. Life is so short and if I was to pass away tomorrow I am so grateful that I have got to experience being a mother to 3 children. Anything else I experience is an added bonus. So for me 'living' is about creating a beautiful family and enjoying every moment with them. I can travel and focus on my career later. Right now I'm living and I'm doing it surrounded by an amount of love that I never new existed.
    That is so beautiful.

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  4. #143
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    I respect that! Can we both agree that there is such thing as too young though? My SIL got pregnant at 15. She is a wonderful person and a great mother. But because she was so young, her mother had to be the "mother" for about 2 years until she completed high school and moved out of home. I don't think that is fair to do to your parents tbh. It doesn't mean she is a bad mother - she isn't, she is great. Just that her choice to do that didn't just change her life, but everyone around her. You know what I mean?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jarylee View Post
    While I respect your opinion I believe that everyone's idea of 'living' is different. I always wanted to be a mother. Life is so short and if I was to pass away tomorrow I am so grateful that I have got to experience being a mother to 3 children. Anything else I experience is an added bonus. So for me 'living' is about creating a beautiful family and enjoying every moment with them. I can travel and focus on my career later. Right now I'm living and I'm doing it surrounded by an amount of love that I never new existed.

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  6. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I respect that! Can we both agree that there is such thing as too young though? My SIL got pregnant at 15. She is a wonderful person and a great mother. But because she was so young, her mother had to be the "mother" for about 2 years until she completed high school and moved out of home. I don't think that is fair to do to your parents tbh. It doesn't mean she is a bad mother - she isn't, she is great. Just that her choice to do that didn't just change her life, but everyone around her. You know what I mean?
    But her parents wouldn't have done it if they didn't want to, right? She didn't force them to do that.

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    Er, what are the choices? Throw your child and grandchild out on the street to fend for themselves? Because it would be so easy to get a rental when you are 15, pregnant, no job and no education. Of course most people wouldn't do that, but it doesn't mean most people would be jumping for joy that their child was pregnant so young. You can disagree, that is fine. But when a young teen gets pregnant, it doesn't just affect them, it affects everyone around them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rarity View Post
    But her parents wouldn't have done it if they didn't want to, right? She didn't force them to do that.

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  9. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I respect that! Can we both agree that there is such thing as too young though? My SIL got pregnant at 15. She is a wonderful person and a great mother. But because she was so young, her mother had to be the "mother" for about 2 years until she completed high school and moved out of home. I don't think that is fair to do to your parents tbh. It doesn't mean she is a bad mother - she isn't, she is great. Just that her choice to do that didn't just change her life, but everyone around her. You know what I mean?
    I see what your saying, but it all worked out well from what you have posted. Who are we as individuals to judge someone's else's life? I just dont understand it. She may very well be a better mother than some that are in their 30s, isn't that more important than what age the mother is? I understand its not an ideal situation, but I believe everything happens for a reason and think its fantastic that with her mothers support your sill has become a great parent

  10. #147
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    Why do dome people think that when others say they do believe that there is an age that is too young to be a mother take it that it suddenly equals young mothers are terrible???

    Nobody has said that! Stop reading into it.

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  12. #148
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    I don't believe that by someone saying they think there is an age to young is meaning that young mothers are terrible. I'm just trying to understand why others have that point of view while also expressing mine

  13. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarylee View Post
    I don't believe that by someone saying they think there is an age to young is meaning that young mothers are terrible. I'm just trying to understand why others have that point of view while also expressing mine
    I don't think teen mums are bad mums but younger than 17 IMO is too young. Because you need parental consent still.... How can they give parental consent if they need it themselves... You need to be 16 before you can walk into a shop for a piercing. And they can be removed or changed a child cannot.before 18 you need your parents consent to do a lot of things. As a pp also said about how it effects not just the mother but the grandparents also... Not all teen mums are lucky. My friend fell pregnant at 16 and her mum kicked her to the curb. To help her pay for things she turned to be a lady of the night (not saying they all do but I am giving an example). Since she has gone back to school and is married and has beautiful kids, but she doesn't really like talking about those years because of all she went through.
    Again I don't think teen mums are bad mums just think that they should reconsider.., or there should be more to help prevent teen pregnancy , like more education etc. because it's not just having children it's also std's that come into play. There was something recently that clamidia is on the rise between 12-16 yr olds as they have no idea about sexual education. At 18 I had friends who thought they were the most furtile during their period... And they had no idea about most std's or how they are caused but she was sleeping around unprotected....
    I respect others opinions and people can disagree with what I have said but I'm just putting my opinion out there

  14. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarylee View Post
    I don't believe that by someone saying they think there is an age to young is meaning that young mothers are terrible. I'm just trying to understand why others have that point of view while also expressing mine
    Because teen mothers are usually (note I said usually) disadvantaged already, and the cycle continues.

    Let's look at the statistics

    ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1390117427.333969.jpg

    http://m.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/bhc...pregnancy?open

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