I live in beach front 3 bedroom apartment in one of the nicest suburbs in my city. I am going to uni for a career change after working in finance. I had my first child at 20 then the second at 22. They are 5 and 6. Yes my marriage failed but I am mid 20's and now seeing a lovely man who thinks of my kids like his own. We get takeaway if we want, we go places for fun. We even go on holidays.
This was achievable for me at 20. (No trust funds or family support either).
It may be true for some, just like its true for some "older" people that have children.
When I see a young mum (like 20) I have two thoughts. One I wonder why they have had kids so young (ie what's the rush?) not really a judgement call I genuinely wonder given that most people have kids later nowadays. Had I been in the position to have children in my early 20s I probably would have. Two I am jealous of their energy. It is very different getting up after 4 hours sleep when you are 37 compared to when you are 20!
The only young mum I genuinely have judged was the 14 year old I know who had a baby purely to get welfare. She brags about how much she gets from centrelink because she has a baby "$900 a fortnight can you believe it". Kids that young I think don't get that the baby is their responsibility for the next 18 years. This kid already has a bunch of problems (the mum not the baby) and I see the baby ending up in the care of relatives.
I'm not even going to bother trying to further explain the realities, it seems as though some people are looking for something that just isn't there.
As to all of the 'older mums' that have replied, not all of us 'young mums' have taken what you have said personally
not one person that I have seen has said young people make bad parents, just gave examples of why it can be good to wait a few years.
if I had a son or daughter who said they wanted children young I would support them but yes absolutey I would mention that kids grow up fast and it is a good idea to have something to fall back on.
if I had a son or daughter who said they wanted to wait until their 40s to have children I would support them but mention they may need to be prepared for the possibilit of IVF and have they considered that they may approach their 60s and still be raising teens/young adults.
There are pros and cons to both.
Well I'm screwed and missing out in both ways lol. I had children at age 20 but now unexpectedly pregnant at 36. Oh well lol.
Last edited by BigRedV; 17-01-2014 at 18:17.
I'm still spun out that some people think 30 ish is an "older" mum lol. I get that it's older than some people who have kids but I guess I assumed they would see themselves as younger mums rather than people older than them as older mums, if that makes sense! I'm pretty sure the average age is around 30 for Australia which by definition means it isn't "older". Anyway I know it doesn't matter it's just quite new to me to feel old!
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