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  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Because unfortunately younger people generally face more challenges and obstacles (not as much $, stability, independence, life experience etc). (Yeah I know averages don't always apply to everyone).
    I know alot of 40year olds that have those problems. And could bet i am much more stable and mature then them.
    I really don't think really think you should say such a blanket statement regarding younger parents, I wouldn't dare say anything negative in regards to your parenting due to your age. Guess it's just a shame how older parents are so quickly to judge younger parents due to their age, you may be surprised and actually get along and have things in common!

  2. #112
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bplus3 View Post
    Guess it's just a shame how older parents are so quickly to judge younger parents due to their age
    I'm going to assume you can see the irony in what you've written?

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  4. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bplus3 View Post
    I know alot of 40year olds that have those problems. And could bet i am much more stable and mature then them.
    I really don't think really think you should say such a blanket statement regarding younger parents, I wouldn't dare say anything negative in regards to your parenting due to your age. Guess it's just a shame how older parents are so quickly to judge younger parents due to their age, you may be surprised and actually get along and have things in common!
    Sorry not actually meaning YOU as you.

  5. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    I'm going to assume you can see the irony in what you've written?
    Because I've written older mums?

    I wasn't being judgemental towards others, I was just stating my opinion with the wrong words used. this topic is too close to home for me, so I am going to leave. I've been trying to prove for last 5 years, my age shouldn't have any indication of my parenting as I don't fall into any sort of "generalisation" that the public and some other mothers seem to think of young parents.

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  7. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    You asked what older mums thought. What I have read is most of us saying we don't think being young makes you a bad parent, but *generally* young parents lack life experience, financial and relationship stability. I would say usually that's pretty right on? that's not an insult just fact.

    Does that mean I think young parents are bad parents? not at all.
    I think that's spot on. I fell pregnant with DS at 16 and had in just after my 17th birthday. Definitely the hardest thing I've ever and likely will ever do. Cass realistically the life you are describing, high paying job for dad, nice things, financial security at 20 it's just not how life is for most young mums. Your situation is unique and you are very fortunate. For most young mothers it IS a struggle and the points other hubbers were making were all valid IMO. That being said as a young mum I think there's a huge difference between having a child at 17-20 then 23-25. I will be 23 the year my son stars prep! I did face some judgement but everyone who got to know me saw that I was a good parent despite the struggles because of my age, and that I didn't fit the 'stereotype' of a teen mum.

    I had to enrol in an alternative school and weeks after DS was born I would take him there 5 days a week, for 18 months and juggle his daily care with my school work, just to finish year 11 and 12. We lived in one bedroom together at my parents until he was 2. Only now at 20 am I beginning to study for a career and it will be another 2 years before I get my first full time job but I will do it all and by there for my baby as well because I can't imagine a life without him, regardless of the struggle. I haven't been judged much by anyone, the odd dirty state from strangers, people asking if I was my sons nanny. But when people get to know me they learn how hard I'm working to give my child a good upbringing and they can see for themselves that I'm one of the good ones





    Age 20, engaged, mummy to 3yo DS and TTC his sibling! Living life backwards

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  9. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You should say "not sure as I'm still trying to work out who the fathers are." Then watch their reaction!
    Lol, it does hurt after a while when you announce your 2nd pregnancy and that what people say before congratulations or you try to go to a playgroup to meet new mums / friends for children and that's what gets asked before your name!

    Sorry extra emotional today with pregnancy hormones! 3rd one and yes same daddy

  10. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You should say "not sure as I'm still trying to work out who the fathers are." Then watch their reaction!
    My last response was to look down at my kids and go "oh 5hi7 there is meant to be 4 of them, where did you go *****" and watch the panicked look on her face hahahaha

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  12. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bplus3 View Post
    I know alot of 40year olds that have those problems. And could bet i am much more stable and mature then them.
    I really don't think really think you should say such a blanket statement regarding younger parents, I wouldn't dare say anything negative in regards to your parenting due to your age. Guess it's just a shame how older parents are so quickly to judge younger parents due to their age, you may be surprised and actually get along and have things in common!
    I'm sorry but you're never going to convince me a 18-20 year old is as ready to have a kid (without struggle) as a 25, 30 year old. That they may be a good mum? I don't disagree at all there.

  13. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lalasmooch View Post
    I think that's spot on. I fell pregnant with DS at 16 and had in just after my 17th birthday. Definitely the hardest thing I've ever and likely will ever do. Cass realistically the life you are describing, high paying job for dad, nice things, financial security at 20 it's just not how life is for most young mums. Your situation is unique and you are very fortunate. For most young mothers it IS a struggle and the points other hubbers were making were all valid IMO. That being said as a young mum I think there's a huge difference between having a child at 17-20 then 23-25. I will be 23 the year my son stars prep! I did face some judgement but everyone who got to know me saw that I was a good parent despite the struggles because of my age, and that I didn't fit the 'stereotype' of a teen mum.

    I had to enrol in an alternative school and weeks after DS was born I would take him there 5 days a week, for 18 months and juggle his daily care with my school work, just to finish year 11 and 12. We lived in one bedroom together at my parents until he was 2. Only now at 20 am I beginning to study for a career and it will be another 2 years before I get my first full time job but I will do it all and by there for my baby as well because I can't imagine a life without him, regardless of the struggle. I haven't been judged much by anyone, the odd dirty state from strangers, people asking if I was my sons nanny. But when people get to know me they learn how hard I'm working to give my child a good upbringing and they can see for themselves that I'm one of the good ones





    Age 20, engaged, mummy to 3yo DS and TTC his sibling! Living life backwards
    See young mums can be good mums. It seems like you've really worked you're butt off. Well done mumma!

  14. #120
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassJ View Post
    Because that's not "just how it is", not for a lot of young parents, fine it was for you but you don't speak for all people who have a child at 20.
    But that IS how it is... Unless you had a magical brain that sped up your development, completed uni when you were 10 and gained full time employment?
    How do you not understand that the younger you have children, the less time you have to mature, work, be in an adult relationship etc.?

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