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  1. #1
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    Default I have a question for older mums??

    So I have a question, I've been reading another thread and it seems to me that some people just think that most young mums aren't good mums(let me rephrase this - some people think that it is a flat out bad idea to have children at a young age). I personally find this a bit odd as up in fairly recently in history young mums was the norm.

    I'm honestly not trying to start an argument, I am generally curious to know what older mums think about us mums that have chosen to have kids early because I've always felt a certain negativity from mums that are older then me and I'm wondering if this is the reason.
    Last edited by CassJ; 16-01-2014 at 19:25.

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    JesskaMay  (16-01-2014)

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    You're possibly right, there are always going to be some people that think young mum's aren't good mum's, same as there are always going to be some people that think older mum's aren't good mum's.

    I'm an older Mum at 42 with a 5 & 3 y/o. I don't judge Mum's on their age. I have 2 Mum friends I have made through my kids who are 25 (3 kids) & 27 (4 kids). They are both great Mum's. Actually my 25 y/o friend and I often have a laugh because I am the same age as her MIL.

    I also have a good friend who had 2 kids by the time she was 19. Now at 42 she has 2 grandkids. She often says there is no way in hell she would want to be a Mum of small children at 42 and she's glad she had her kids when she did.

    I think its something that goes both ways, there are always going to be people who think you did things the wrong way. As long as Mum/Dad are happy and the kids are happy, then that's all that matters.

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    Age does not matter. As long as your kids are your highest priority you will be a good mum. I'm 48 and have a 2 yr old.

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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlsRock View Post
    You're possibly right, there are always going to be some people that think young mum's aren't good mum's, same as there are always going to be some people that think older mum's aren't good mum's.

    I'm an older Mum at 42 with a 5 & 3 y/o. I don't judge Mum's on their age. I have 2 Mum friends I have made through my kids who are 25 (3 kids) & 27 (4 kids). They are both great Mum's. Actually my 25 y/o friend and I often have a laugh because I am the same age as her MIL.

    I also have a good friend who had 2 kids by the time she was 19. Now at 42 she has 2 grandkids. She often says there is no way in hell she would want to be a Mum of small children at 42 and she's glad she had her kids when she did.

    I think its something that goes both ways, there are always going to be people who think you did things the wrong way. As long as Mum/Dad are happy and the kids are happy, then that's all that matters.
    That's true, I agree with everything you said. I've just never thought that when I decided to have kids young I would receive the level of negativity I have.

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    I'm an older mum now but I started young-ish (17), so obviously I don't judge.

    I just find it odd that people judge parenting capabilities based on someone's age. People can be bad parents whether they start having children in their teens, twenties, thirties or forties.

    Honestly, it's not even worth thinking about. I choose not to dwell on the ignorance of others.

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    As an older mum I really don't have any opinions one way or the other about the age of other mothers. I think there are so many other factors that are more important when it comes to being a 'good' mum. There are certainly generalisations out there, but they're just that - generalisations. I know awesome younger mums and awesome older mums.

    There are advantages and disadvantages to having kids at any age. Sometimes I wish I'd started my family younger, other times I wish I'd waited a couple of years more (and I was 37 when I had my first!)

    Some older mums who are being negative towards you may believe the generalisations. Others may be jealous that they didn't have theirs earlier.

    It could also be that you've met some judgemental and/or competitive mums. They'll always find a reason to judge other mothers. If you have the misfortune of meeting people like that you can feel their negativity no matter what age you are!

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    I dont think its all older mums. I know many lovely older mums who I am great friends with who dont judge me. But as with anything there is just always going to be people who disagree with your choices and believe they know better. But just brush it off. Dont let it bother you.

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    CassJ  (16-01-2014)

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    Age is irrelevant. "You're only young once but you can be immature forever" ha ha. Some women will be terrible mothers whether they have kids at 20 or 40. Some women have their heads together as teenagers and make great young mums. Personally that wasn't me, I was a bit messed up in my teens and 20s and would have made a terrible mum. But in my 30s I got it together (mostly ha ha) and now I'm 41 with a 6&4yo. I think I do ok as a mum but I'm glad I didn't have them earlier.

    I'm actually jealous of women who are good young mums, cos I wish I'd been together enough to have my kids earlier. And I feel for young mums that struggle cos I understand to a degree the difficulties they face.

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    Last edited by jade24; 16-01-2014 at 11:36.

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    Thankyou for the reply's, its helped my think about it from others point of view.

    I do understand some of the generalisations that people make about young parents, mainly because they are betrayed so horribly sometime, like in stupid shows like teen mum but I don't think that's the norm and everyone here is right, age doesn't make you a good or bad parent.


 

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