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  1. #1
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    Default tummy tuck for diastasis recti and loose skin- why do I feel so bad? Good stories?

    I feel like it is considered basically shameful, deceptive and the cheats way out for women who have had babies to admit they are getting or want to get a tummy tuck. I have had two kids who I absolutely adore.. I dont like the belly I was left with. I am slim but I have a terrible abdominal muscle separation which 3 years after the last baby has not healed.. despite years of expensive physiotherapy.. I am very fit otherwise. It frustrates me I cant do "Regular" exercise, my friends invited my to do rollerderby with them but with my weak core, it was difficult and painful.. I cant do most exercise classes and I used to be a very active person.. if I do any of the stuff I used to love, like yoga and pilates, even the moderate versions are often not appropriate. I have chronic lower back pain and recently developed a small hernia above my belly button. My doctor has referred me for surgical repair but has also given me a referral to see a plastic surgeon, as I told her I was considering that route. I feel bad about the fact that I want a tummy tuck. The loose skin annoys me and is ugly to me. I browse sites like The Shape of Mother and I can sense a general tone that getting a tummy tuck or plastic surgery of any type means you havent accepted yourself, or are somehow less "natural" whatever that means... I want to "embrace" my post baby body.. I can't. I dont hate myself as a whole. I like myself. I have a great partner who still wants to jump all the time (give it a rest already lol). I havent got low self esteem. The fact of the matter is I am ashamed though. Ashamed that I would get this procedure done, which isn't necessary, which carries some added risks, simply so that I like this one little part of myself more. Why do I feel this way? I know having a nicer stomach shouldnt even be a high priority. In my every day life I dont give it a lot of thought, but the fact is, it does make me self conscious. particularly in summer. I'd actually rather be more overweight, than have a really deflated and odd looking stomach. Can anyone relate to these feelings? Is it just me?

  2. #2
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    You'll feel amazing and so happy with the results you'll be so much more confident etc I can recommend perth surgeons from work who do great work

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  4. #3
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    a friend of mine did exactly this after having her two children. have a look on www.newtummy.blogspot.com.au to read her story if you're interested. She is a pretty short person, so got really big with both of her pregnancies - to the point where maternity clothes didn't fit! anyway, she had bad separation and got really sick of being asked if she was pregnant when she wasn't. So, she had a tummy tuck done and is looking fantastic

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    AppleIsleSMum  (15-01-2014),bigbum  (14-01-2014),Bubbles10  (15-01-2014)

  6. #4
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    ^^thanks. really interesting to look at her photos. I relate to her before picture lol. It still really disappoints me that I couldnt "fix" this on my own. I always identified myself as being someone who was in shape and I thought of things like plastic surgery being kind of vain. Its kind of funny because when i told my mum my plans she actually admitted that 20 years ago she had some plastic surgery done too (I never realised!).. she also isnt someone I would think of to do it either. So I guess I have some silly misconceptions about plastic surgery. I have to admit I have also never had surgery so I do have some fears about dropping dead in theatre etc..

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    glad could help and yeah, she is reasonable fit too so similar story i think

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    oops *reasonably*

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    Yes I have similar feelings, I'm like you- slim with a fat and flabby tummy, I still look pregnant some days. It's been years and I exercise, it's not going away.
    I will not be having surgery due to financial constraints, however I always daydream about getting it... and yes those shameful feelings creep in, like I have 'cheated' and like if anyone ever says I have a good body, that someone else will pipe in and say "oh but it's fake, she's had surgery", and then they'll sit there and agree that she doesn't count then, she's cheated. I'm not sure if people would really think that way, or if I'm just being a bit paranoid.... but yes, I do know how you're feeling.

    But IMO if you can afford the surgery and are wanting to do it, go for it!

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  11. #8
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    Agree, if you really want to do it and have done all your research on it I think you should go for it. From my perspective I don't see it as cheating nor superficial. It's a bit like people who have lost heaps of weight and have loose skin and have surgery to fix it. It's corrective surgery rather than cosmetic. I also think it's a bit like having a beast reduction as opposed to breast implants (for non medical reason).
    I have the same problem and have posted on here after being constantly asked if I am pregnant. While the surgery outcome would be nice I am a chicken when it comes to the pain.

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  13. #9
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    Let go off the embarrassed or ashamed feelings and if that's the answer to a happier, healthier you, then go for it. That's exactly why plastic surgery was invented IMO. I guess my only word of warning would be to make sure that is exactly what is making you unhappy.

    I've posted on here in the past about wanting one myself and even went so far as to book the surgery. I also have badly separated stomach muscles and a hernia over my belly button (although I'm quite slim). I ended up cancelling the procedure because after 3 years of physiotherapy and personal training to help build up my core... It suddenly started to work. I'm not sure why it didn't work for 3 years and then suddenly started to happen for me (one of the great mysteries of life I guess). But suddenly I can do sit ups etc when before it caused a great amount of pain and discomfit. My stomach is still separated and I still have a hernia but now I'm at my prime weight (only 4 kgs lighter than when I was booked in for the surgery a few months ago ) and it seems to have made all the difference for me. I was personally terrified of surgery so it's been the best possible outcome for me.

    Another procedure you might want to look into (it can't be done over the top of a hernia, but around it is fine) is cool sculpturing. You should google it. It's non invasive and has good results if you are already close to your ideal weight.

    Good luck

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  15. #10
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    Thanks. I have looked at the "non invasive" procedures quite a lot. There are so many out there! It seems cool sculpting is mostly for fat where my problem really IS just the muscles and skin laxity.There is also something called thermage I have seen for loose skin. It seems like it might have some okay results for some people, but it costs $2000.00, and has very mixed reviews so it would be a lot to spend if it didnt work. The other alternative is I could try one of those cheaper Radio Frequency skin tightening treatments that are much cheaper and see if I have any luck, but that still obviously wont cure my other issues.. although perhaps then I could just go for the free surgery for my muscles and hernia. I can only just afford to get this done (the tummy tuck) if I go ahead with it. My private health insurance is going to cover the hospital stay, and a small rebate for the procedure, and medicare also gives me a rebate.. so it is a bit more affordable than it would be without those things. Im looking at it costing me around $6000.00. Still a lot, and its something Im going to be putting money aside for for the next 6 months basically.
    Ripperita can i ask what type of physiotherapy you were doing?
    If I didn't already need to have abdominal surgery, I dont think I could go ahead with it. But at this point I do. I wish I could have faith that somethng would suddenly work for me.. but I really just havent seen ANY difference. and the thing I found about physiotherapy was if I missed a few sessions, ALL my back pain and abdominal tenderness would come back.. and I still have been unable to move on from physio to at least some normal exercise which is frustrating. It makes me wonder how many years I'd be locked into physio for.. nobody has ever given me an idea of how long its 'supposed' to take iykwim.


 

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