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  1. #1
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    Default Single, pregnant & alone

    Morning all.

    So I found out I was pregnant last week. Couldn't stop crying. However now come to accept it. But I am not with the father anymore and I refuse to go back to that horrible situation.

    I have hardly any mates that know as he doesnt want me to tell anyone. .. I feel so isolated and alone then I see all these women on his fb flirting with him. Even though I don't wsnt to be with him it still hurts when he flirts back.

    I feel like im just going to get fat and gross and no one will want a single young mum of 3. While he can get whatever the hell he wants.

    Please does anyone have any advice on how to make any of this better or at least been a single mum and pull through ok?

    I am so stressed that I can't do this or that I will fail at this.

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  2. #2
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    First of all, congratulations on your pregnancy!

    Secondly - it's your life and your body. You are not with the father any more, so he has no right to dictate who you may or may not tell or talk to. Please talk to someone that you trust. If you really don't or can't talk to someone you know, then counsellors are great listeners. Are you frightened of him?

    Thirdly - could you think about blocking your ex's feed from your Facebook? Or even unfriending him? It obviously won't help you to see him behave in a flirty way with others.

    As for your future - there are plenty of men out there who will take on a single young mum of three. I know of a woman (who definitely wasn't young) who was a single of 6 (to 4 fathers) who married a man and has had two more children with him (so far!). Someone that truly loves you will love your children too.

    Of course you'll put on weight, but you can seek help from your GP or a local health network about how to eat healthily during your pregnancy. And you can keep up the exercise. Weight can be lost again. I've been slightly overweight all of my life, and trust me, I've never, ever been short of attention from guys.

    You can do this. There are lots of women on here who have done this alone, or been pregnant and newly single, and I'm sure some of them will be able to contribute to this thread and help you.

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  4. #3
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    Congratulations!!

    I agree with Mrsharvey!

    You need to remove him from your facebook as this will cause you unnecessary stress!

    Being a mum is the most rewarding and loving feeling!

    Reach out to whomever you feel comfortable ☺️

    Be kind to yourself! 💜💜

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    I still live with him as well. I tried removing him... it didn't go down well.

    Thanks for the help. I hope I wont be alone for the rest of my life. ; ( its just a sad emotional day today

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  7. #5
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    I'm confused, it says you don't want to be a single mum of 3..... so you already have 2 right? What difference will 1 more make?
    Sorry, I don't get it.

  8. #6
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    He sounds a little unstable and possessive to me. You can hide his feed so that you don't see his updates, or you can block him without him knowing.

    You don't say how old you are, but you sound very capable of standing on your own two feet. How soon can he move out? Or how soon can you move? This is a very unhealthy situation to be in. How did your ex feel about the break up? Is he ok with it? How about the pregnancy? If he is as controlling as he sounds, I think the best thing for all of your children would be to get away from him as quickly as possible. Also, write everything down that he says/does that is frightening, threatening, unpleasant etc. with dates and times. It is a sign of abuse that he is trying to isolate you from your friends and control what you can tell them, and this is someone you are no longer in a relationship with. I'm not trying to sound judgmental, just going by what you've written.

    I'm sure you won't be alone for the rest of your life, and having just separated from my husband I really honestly can understand that fear, but I think for the short term you need to focus on your mental/emotional/physical health and the wellbeing of your children for now.

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  10. #7
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    I feel that one more would make it extremely difficult. I havent really ever been single with the kids before so its all new to me.

    I will see about hiding his posts. He is estatic about the pregnacy. Doesn't want me to move out says he will but never does. Im writing everything down as it is just to safeguard myself.

    This is all new and quite daunting to me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lisas854 View Post
    I'm confused, it says you don't want to be a single mum of 3..... so you already have 2 right? What difference will 1 more make?
    Sorry, I don't get it.
    Ummm it's a whole extra child!

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  13. #9
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    Hugs OP x

    Can you move out?

  14. #10
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    How about your family? Can you live with a parent? Otherwise I think it may be best to have him move out because it sounds like the situation is becoming confusing & stressful on you which you don't need. It's time to focus on getting you & baby ready for the next chapter with your other two kids.

    How will it make you feel if he announces he has a new girlfriend down the track or brings her around? I think that once you have your own place & don't have him on Facebook it will give you time to concentrate on your future.

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