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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post

    Instead of looking to tut tut at the parents we should be asking what's wrong with society that this keeps happening?
    .
    I totally agree with this statement, the justice system needs a review. Prime example that degenerate that killed Jill Meagher, he was out on parole. He was a repeat offender. He should have been jailed for life years ago.
    Same with all these 'king hit' deaths, they need to be tougher penalties for bad behaviour, maybe people will think twice before they do it.

  2. #72
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    (my post needs a trigger warning - just a heads up )

    Those that are talking about parental responsibility & self awareness are just not getting it.

    You can take all the precautions in the world and it could still happen to you.

    When you shift any of the 100% blame ANYWHERE else other than the perpetrator you start making excuses for them.

    "I shouldn't have been walking alone at night" becomes "she was an easy target, I was able to rape her because she was alone at night"

    "I should have known my husband was touching my kids" becomes "she knew wht was happening and never stopped me so she was ok with it"

    "I should not have accepted that drink from that man, that was my ticket to bein raped" becomes "she accepted my drink, that's obviously an invitation regardless if she says no"

    which then becomes

    "I should have gone into the toilet with my child" becomes "well, the mother wasn't supervising, so she obviously didn't care"

    Do you all get what I'm saying?

    You can be as responsible as a paranoid, overbearing helicopter mum all you like... then what happens if, say, your child is in your own toilet in your own house, and your best friend assaults them. So, it's your fault for not realising your best friend hadn't returned from the toilet before your child goes? It's your fault for not following your child to the toilet in your own house? No. It's the best friends fault. No matter how you twist it, no matter what could have been done to "prevent it".

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  4. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoteToSelf View Post
    I know

    I wonder at the mentality of victim blaming?

    Does it make people feel safer to think that a crime like that could never happen to them because they would never place themselves or their families `at risk'.

    I guess blaming victims makes the world seem a bit safer and crime more preventable?
    I think that's exactly what it is. This kind of crime is terrifying. No one wants to think of it happening to them or their family, so they reassure themselves it wouldn't happen to them because they take steps to avoid it. It's not true, unfortunately sometimes despite everything you do bad stuff happens, but I think it's a coping mechanism.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MrJones&Me View Post
    (my post needs a trigger warning - just a heads up )

    Those that are talking about parental responsibility & self awareness are just not getting it.

    You can take all the precautions in the world and it could still happen to you.

    When you shift any of the 100% blame ANYWHERE else other than the perpetrator you start making excuses for them.

    "I shouldn't have been walking alone at night" becomes "she was an easy target, I was able to rape her because she was alone at night"

    "I should have known my husband was touching my kids" becomes "she knew wht was happening and never stopped me so she was ok with it"

    "I should not have accepted that drink from that man, that was my ticket to bein raped" becomes "she accepted my drink, that's obviously an invitation regardless if she says no"

    which then becomes

    "I should have gone into the toilet with my child" becomes "well, the mother wasn't supervising, so she obviously didn't care"

    Do you all get what I'm saying?

    You can be as responsible as a paranoid, overbearing helicopter mum all you like... then what happens if, say, your child is in your own toilet in your own house, and your best friend assaults them. So, it's your fault for not realising your best friend hadn't returned from the toilet before your child goes? It's your fault for not following your child to the toilet in your own house? No. It's the best friends fault. No matter how you twist it, no matter what could have been done to "prevent it".
    If you were assaulted as a child, you would be aware of all these things yes
    Unfortunately it's one of the crosses to bear that you are always alert
    Some cases are preventable
    Again- you put a car seatbelt on, why not think about it before you send your 2 year old into a public toilet

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  7. #75
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    It's 100% the attackers fault, it's disgusting and I hope he gets the book thrown at him.

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    Seems like no matter what the situation, some people find a way to blame the victim. It's horrendous.

    Two teenage girls were raped at a Sydney shopping centre recently - by security guards working at the shopping centre. Who can we shift the blame to here - the girls or their parents?

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  10. #77
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    How come with all the 'one punch' deaths we've seen lately the focus is on how terrible the behavior was of the aggressor but with violence against women and children it's 'why was she out alone?' or 'where were their parents?'

    Why is violence against men about the perpetrator and violence against women and kids about the victim not being kept (or keeping themselves) safe??

    The double standard is distressing.

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  12. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoteToSelf View Post
    I know

    I wonder at the mentality of victim blaming?

    Does it make people feel safer to think that a crime like that could never happen to them because they would never place themselves or their families `at risk'.

    I guess blaming victims makes the world seem a bit safer and crime more preventable?
    I think you might be onto something there.

    Kind of a way to reassure yourself that it could never happen to 'me' because I don't do xyz or abc.

    If only that were true! It would make life so much more straightforward.

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  14. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrJones&Me View Post
    (my post needs a trigger warning - just a heads up )

    Those that are talking about parental responsibility & self awareness are just not getting it.

    You can take all the precautions in the world and it could still happen to you.

    When you shift any of the 100% blame ANYWHERE else other than the perpetrator you start making excuses for them.

    "I shouldn't have been walking alone at night" becomes "she was an easy target, I was able to rape her because she was alone at night"

    "I should have known my husband was touching my kids" becomes "she knew wht was happening and never stopped me so she was ok with it"

    "I should not have accepted that drink from that man, that was my ticket to bein raped" becomes "she accepted my drink, that's obviously an invitation regardless if she says no"

    which then becomes

    "I should have gone into the toilet with my child" becomes "well, the mother wasn't supervising, so she obviously didn't care"

    Do you all get what I'm saying?

    You can be as responsible as a paranoid, overbearing helicopter mum all you like... then what happens if, say, your child is in your own toilet in your own house, and your best friend assaults them. So, it's your fault for not realising your best friend hadn't returned from the toilet before your child goes? It's your fault for not following your child to the toilet in your own house? No. It's the best friends fault. No matter how you twist it, no matter what could have been done to "prevent it".
    Totally agree with you, but i'm not going to stop taking these precautions just because it still might happen anyway.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MissMuppet View Post
    How come with all the 'one punch' deaths we've seen lately the focus is on how terrible the behavior was of the aggressor but with violence against women and children it's 'why was she out alone?' or 'where were their parents?'

    Why is violence against men about the perpetrator and violence against women and kids about the victim not being kept (or keeping themselves) safe??

    The double standard is distressing.
    This is what makes me wonder whether it is simply that people are so afraid of it happening to them they try to convince themselves there's things they can do to prevent crimes happening, or whether it's good old fashioned misogyny.

    Why is it when a man is assaulted it's cowardly and there's calls for harsher punishments etc but when a woman or a child is they shouldn't have been there?

    I refuse to live my life in a paranoid state and deny DS from life experiences because there's criminals out there. Anything could happen at any time. And it's nobody but the criminal's fault for choosing to commit a crime.

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