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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Ugh.

    Those poor bloody people. A horrid crime committed against their children and now they may come across sh!t saying they played a part in that crime. Just like the poor woman who was assaulted on NYE and how it was a 'reminder' to us not to be out at night (and she has to read alllll of the news articles stating how she could have 'avoided' crossing paths with a criminal), yet the man who was assaulted had a cowardly crime committed against him, most sad thing ever, etc.

    I hate this world.
    Yep, I was just thinking that I hope the parents aren't reading this. As if you wouldn't be eaten up with guilt already. No need for the blame.

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  3. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoteToSelf View Post
    So men are slavering beasts with no self control should they catch a glimpse of cleavage or bum they will throw you down and rape you? By that argument there would be no rape in countries where women where the burka or hijab.

    Are people not reading what others have posted?

    Statistically speaking, children are sexually assaulted by a friend of family member....how are you going to stop that?

    Women are mostly raped by a man they know....how are you going to stop that?

    It is NEVER the victims fault, always the perpetrators. End of story.

    Sexual Assaults occur because there are rapists living in our community. No rapists, no sexual assaults. Unfortunately it does not work the other way...no bum/boobs, no walking home alone...you can still be raped in your home by a man you know
    Don't let your children go to a toilet alone? They can still be sexually assaulted by a family member.

    Sure take the precautions that you feel are right for your family, but remember always, that stranger danger is not the only danger.
    So what are you saying?? That a man that is going to commit sexual assault against a victim that he knows then this is unavoidable?? There must be things we can do or ways of protecting ourselves and our children from these "known perpetrators"? Surely supervision also plays a role in our own home?

  4. #63
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    I wonder if people who are making the comments about women needing to take responsibility know how damaging it can be to make those comments to someone who has been sexually assulted.

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  6. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Ugh.

    Those poor bloody people. A horrid crime committed against their children and now they may come across sh!t saying they played a part in that crime. Just like the poor woman who was assaulted on NYE and how it was a 'reminder' to us not to be out at night (and she has to read alllll of the news articles stating how she could have 'avoided' crossing paths with a criminal), yet the man who was assaulted had a cowardly crime committed against him, most sad thing ever, etc.

    I hate this world.
    I know

    I wonder at the mentality of victim blaming?

    Does it make people feel safer to think that a crime like that could never happen to them because they would never place themselves or their families `at risk'.

    I guess blaming victims makes the world seem a bit safer and crime more preventable?

  7. #65
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    That poor family. They must be feeling absolutely devastated right now. Distressed, worried and stressed about the future, grieving for the loss of innocence, trying to help their children through this while feeling like they're emotionally drowning too...

    The last thing they need is guilt heaped on top of everything else. Whenever something bad happens its always easy to play the 'but for' game. You can always see a decision where if you'd made a different one the bad thing might not have happened. Eg, if only I'd left 5 minutes later I wouldn't have had that car accident. Fact is, sometimes you just get monumentally unlucky, and its not your fault. At all.

    Instead of looking to tut tut at the parents we should be asking what's wrong with society that this keeps happening? Why are some people so lacking in empathy that they do such horrible things?

    It is not possible to physically be there for our kids ALL the time. We need to focus on the perpetrator's behavior not the victim's. The victim was unlucky. The vast majority of the time those kids would have been safe going to the toilet. The perpetrator made a conscious decision to hurt someone. The fault lies 100% with them.

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  9. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by FutureMa View Post
    I'm sorry that you all think that a parent shouldn't have to supervise their toddler to a public toilet block but WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD. There are sickos out there, take responsibility and supervise your children at ALL TIMES.

    That is all I have to say.
    Knowing that I'm going to come under fire i have to say that I think FutureMa is getting a bit of a rough time.
    I'm 100% agreeable that it's the sicko who did it is at fault but we all know that sickos are out there and in the ideal world out children should be able to go 30m to have a pee in peace but we know this isn't an ideal world.
    I think all FutureMa is trying to say is why put yourself in a situation where it could happen?
    No one deserves to or 'asks' to be assaulted but as @SAgirl says we know crime is out there why not take reasonable precautions to prevent it.
    There are sick opportunistic b*stards out there waiting to prey on anyone that comes along, I'm just saying we need to be mindful of this.

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  11. #67
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    The parents should have been with them in the toilet
    Simple as that
    It's not blaming
    It's neglectful parenting
    Similar to making sure children wear their seatbelt
    We look after them until they can look after themselves

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  13. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Star Light View Post
    So what are you saying?? That a man that is going to commit sexual assault against a victim that he knows then this is unavoidable?? There must be things we can do or ways of protecting ourselves and our children from these "known perpetrators"? Surely supervision also plays a role in our own home?
    You tell me. Do you supervise your children 24/7 with every male relative or friend that comes to your house or you go to their house?

    I don't.

    But I teach my kids about their bodies, use the proper terms for their bodies, and that their bodies are there own private places. I don't force my kids to kiss or hug anyone, they are in charge. We don't have secrets in our house.

    I try my best to equip my children to know that they are in charge of their bodies and can say no and that I am always here for them to talk to.

    For me, that is what I feel I can do.
    Last edited by NoteToSelf; 14-01-2014 at 09:32.

  14. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoteToSelf View Post
    I know

    I wonder at the mentality of victim blaming?

    Does it make people feel safer to think that a crime like that could never happen to them because they would never place themselves or their families `at risk'.

    I guess blaming victims makes the world seem a bit safer and crime more preventable?
    It's not victim blaming
    Any parent that ever suffered at the hands of a sicko would never put their children in danger
    Some things can be prevented
    This was one of them

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  16. #70
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    Sigh. Kay, third time people would like to distort reality to make themselves feel better and have an acceptable reason to blame victims and their families rather than the criminal himself so I'm out.

    You guys know why rape is still so common in society? Because it's okayed by society. There you have it.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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