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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by FutureMa View Post
    I'm sorry that you all think that a parent shouldn't have to supervise their toddler to a public toilet block but WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD. There are sickos out there, take responsibility and supervise your children at ALL TIMES.

    That is all I have to say.
    You are right. There are some really sick people out there.
    But... That still doesn't put the blame on the parents for this atrocious act.
    I wonder when your kids go to school or shopping with friends. .. to the movies. .. are you going to follow them everywhere? Kids in prep go to the toilet all the time with another prep aged buddy at school. Schools don't have big fences stopping bad people getting in. Schools do everything they can to keep kids safe.. as parents do.
    As a parent you weigh up the risks of any situation.
    A child drowns in a pool because they opened the gate while mum was in the toilet or answering this door...That's not her fault, it was an accident. Or a child runs out on the road while mum or dad was putting a baby in the car..child gets hit, another sad accident.
    2 girls are assaulted in a public toilet while this family are mere metres away. .. not the parents' fault.

    Yes, it's a sad fact that there are evil people in the world, but the responsibility for crime lies solely with them.
    It's not like these parents walked in the toilet, saw the man and left their children in his care.

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by biscotti View Post
    Tread carefully FutureMa, we have members here on the Hub who have had those exact accidents happen and not because their children weren't adequately supervised
    What has that got to do with my argument?

    I'm obviously not being very clear. We need to supervise our children at all times so that incidents like this can be avoided.

    Why is what I am saying so offensive? I thought that that is just parenting 101. Obviously bad things still happen but it greatly reduces the chance of it.

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  5. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    I don't see the rape thing as victim blaming AT ALL. It's not a woman's fault she got raped no, but WHY go to areas where it is more likely to happen? (Eg running in a park at night on your own!!! Everyone knows seedy things happen in certain areas! Avoid them!)

    People also need to take responsibility for their own safety! Coming from South Africa I AVOIDED dodgy areas where there was a lot of crime or unlit streets etc. it doesn't protect you completely because of course there are evil humans EVERYWHERE, but its more likely to happen in these 'bad' areas.

    Not saying this particular park was bad, I'm more pointing out about adults taking care of themselves.

    As for these parents bring close by, that's not enough for ME. I personally would not let my guard down with my young kids. No I'm not a perfect parent but I know I wouldn't let my 2 young kids into a toilet block on their own. Even if there were a million families close by! That to me is even more of a reason to watch them as closely as possible as evil people are much more easily hidden amongst crowds.


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    Want to avoid the situation most likely to result in rape? Don't have relationships with men. Most rapes are committed by someone known to the victim, not a masked attacker in a dark alley or park.

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  7. #44
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    Hands up if you drive a car?

    Well you're putting your child at risk every time you drive. There's much bigger risk of your child getting injured in car accidents than being assaulted by strangers.

    Better to stay at home and never leave the house.

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  9. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by FutureMa View Post

    Why is what I am saying so offensive?
    It is incredibly offensive.
    You have pretty much said if anything bad happens to your child it is your fault because you were supervising good enough.

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  11. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by aereht View Post
    Want to avoid the situation most likely to result in rape? Don't have relationships with men. Most rapes are committed by someone known to the victim, not a masked attacker in a dark alley or park.
    Maybe my opinion is formed too much on SA crime then as most crimes and rapes committed are by strangers.


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  12. #47
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    I don't think we should blame the parents. We need to blame the person that did this. Parents cannot and should not have to supervise children all day everyday. What they do instead is a risk assessment. Every time I leave my children asleep in the car while I unpack groceries I make a risk assessment - I look at the temperature, how likely it is that someone will drive into my yard and hit my car and whether I can cope with the kids trying to help me unpack groceries. If someone did drive in to my yard and hit my car and my children were hurt while I was standing on my verandah I wouldn't consider it was my fault because I had assessed the risk and didn't feel it likely to happen. Other people might make a different assessment but neither of us are wrong.

    The person who assaulted these children is the person who needs to take all the blame.

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  14. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by FutureMa View Post
    What has that got to do with my argument?

    I'm obviously not being very clear. We need to supervise our children at all times so that incidents like this can be avoided.

    Why is what I am saying so offensive? I thought that that is just parenting 101. Obviously bad things still happen but it greatly reduces the chance of it.
    It's not just the offensive side of your statements. Ignoring those for the moment, not holding the man who did this entirely responsible and placing any of the blame anywhere else then gives that man a justification, even if it's a small one.
    "They should have been properly supervised, I wouldn't have been able to rape them if they were so the parents must have wanted their children to be sexually assaulted."

    I've even heard the "She was naked so obviously wanted it" in regards to the rape of a four year old before.

    It's horrendous, nauseating and disgusting. These peoples brains don't work properly. Don't give them an inch ever. You can't be flexible and have grey areas. Even a little crack in any reasoning and they will feel justified.

    You know what stops rape? It's not a womans state of undress, where she's running, lack of supervision, none of these things matter. What stops rape is rapists not raping. Not giving them any justification or allowing any one person in society to blame the victim or the victims family, or place any responsibility on them. Not giving them that inch where they can externalise the blame for them raping and project it onto their victim or their victims family.

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  16. #49
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    While i would never allow my 3 year old into a public toilet on her own as i always think of that poor little girl in Perth (Remember the case of 8 yr old Sofia Rodrigez-Urrutia-Shu who was raped and murdered in a Perth shopping centre toilet in a matter of minutes)

    But this is not the parents fault!!! The blame lies solely with the monster who did this. We should be able to allow our children to go to the toilet on their own - if it weren't for such scumbags as this.



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  18. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post

    You know what stops rape? It's not a womans state of undress, where she's running, lack of supervision, none of these things matter. What stops rape is rapists not raping. Not giving them any justification or allowing any one person in society to blame the victim or the victims family, or place any responsibility on them. Not giving them that inch where they can externalise the blame for them raping and project it onto their victim or their victims family.

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    I agree, however rapists won't stop raping. Murderers won't stop murdering, that's life unfortunately. Therefore, TAKE REASONABLE CARE OF YOURSELVES AND YOUR FAMILIES.

    Not hard.



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