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  1. #11
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    The technique I use is outside in; its part of the emotion coaching part of 123 magic

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    I would also respond with getting down to eye level with the child and speaking firm. If that didn't work I would take the child to the bedroom and close the door. I don't think that is the best response, I'm just saying what I did. I actually dont recall too many tantrums, at least not any full blown tantrums. I think sometimes mothers are too harsh on themselves. We can all know what the best response would be, but we are only human and our feelings jump in the way at times. Give the child maximum love, and the odd bit of yelling wont do much harm. marie

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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPopsicle View Post
    I give myself a time out; walk away go to my room and just take a minute then I go back out and bring him close and cuddle him and shush him
    Have you tried 123 magic? Its helped me a lot

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    I give myself time out as well. i make sure they are safe and lock myself in the bathroom or my bedroom for a few minutes to catch my breath, pick myself up and go back out and try again.

    Go easy on yourself... your only human

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    Quote Originally Posted by btmac View Post
    When DS1 was a toddler and was angry/upset I used to get very quiet. I would practically whisper he would yell and scream and I would keep whispering. It didn't take long and he would either stop and say I can't hear you or he would come close and try to hear what I was saying. Often I was just whispering nonsense or a nursery rhyme which would make him laugh - it was the break we needed.

    Then we could talk about what he did and go from there. Don't know if it would work with all kids but it was non confrontational and stopped the tantrum.

    Best of luck it's tough.
    I do a variation of this. What i do is say '*insert DD name, are you listening to me' in a soft calm voice. After a couple of times she stops her tantrum but I continue until she responds then we have a chat about what happened.

    I must add I have just started doing this, still get tantrums but less than before, so there's definitely some improvement.

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    Thanks for the supportive advice. I think a "time out" for me is a god idea!! I'm going to look up the 123 magic people refer to as well.

    Gees this parenting business is hard work. Great fun, loads of laughs, but bloody hard work sometimes!!

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    If you have a kindle or kindle app on ipad, the 123 magic book is only about $6 ish to get from the amazon store I find it's very helpful to stop tantrums etc. and as for how I stop myself losing my temper: I try to remind myself that he's not doing this on purpose to annoy me, he's doing this because he's upset. I try to remove myself from taking it personally.

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    Bond Girl  (14-01-2014)

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    Im still having the same issue with my 5.5 year old. Hes even said a few times when hes upset "why are you yelling at me" breaks my heart and stops me in my tracks...mind you he really does push our buttons and knows how to get a rise.

    No advice but good on you for recognising it early! Im only starting to recognise it now, and ive already done a lot of the damage in making him worse with temper tantrums etc I never thought id be a mummy like this sometimes it is soo so testing though and i am the crankiest pregnant mummy

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    If my DS is doing something similar I count to 3 before I react and remind myself of his age. It sort of helps me to put myself in his shoes... Generally his tantrums are frustration related eg he wants to be so independent but isn't quite able to.

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    123 magic is great
    if that fails, i try to step away from the situation for a moment (providing DD is safe or DH is home)
    I have on a really bad case chucked us both in the shower (warm not cold) and we just sat in the bottom of the tub until she calmed down.
    if all else fails .... why do we not have a wine symbol???


 

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