+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0

    Default I can't even settle my own son! (Nearly 3 month old)

    Hi everyone,

    I had a bad shoulder injury 3 weeks ago and so my mum flew over to help me look after my bub and as I had trouble carrying him due to pain, I just played with him and fed him(bf) but now since my shoulder is better and my mum flying back this Friday I started to settle him to sleep but he goes crazy. I have had some luck putting him to sleep after play but when he wakes up after 40mins (he is a cat napper and hardly sleeps during the day) and when I try to resettle him, he goes ape!! Cries like he is being tortured! I didn't think much of it until we were at a cafe having lunch and when he woke up in the pram crying I picked him up and it wouldn't work then as soon as mum held him, he stopped!!

    Im so devastated, as my mum is also a doting grandma she held him more than necessary and wanted him to sleep as he is a bad sleeper. With her flying back on Friday, how long do you think it will take before he gets comfortable with me settling him? I def don't think I can handle 30-40 mins of settling and him crying as it's both stressful for him and me.

    My husband and I feel responsible as we let this get to where it did for relying on my mum too much and now LO has to go through hell to fix this. It's worse for me as I'm his mum and I can't even settle him! I won't be able to take him out anywhere until I sort this as I don't want a scene at a cafe.

  2. #2
    Busy-Bee's Avatar
    Busy-Bee is offline Offending people since before Del :D
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    11,183
    Thanks
    3,664
    Thanked
    4,704
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    Relax!! Your baby might just be used to the smell of his grandma and there's nothing wrong with that. I had 2 catnapping babies too so I can feel your pain. Have you tried the boob to resettle or comfort him? Boobs solve so many issues with they are so tiny! Another suggestion is to try sitting on a fitball with your b and bouncing. I had a particularly heavy baby who fought sleep and I found this worked a treat.

    One last thing, there is no such thing as holding a baby more than necessary! They are so little and for the first 9 months of their life they have been held all snuggly in your womb, feed on demand and rocked to sleep by you moving around. That's what they know, that's what's familiar to them.

    Good luck!

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Busy-Bee For This Useful Post:

    Amiedoll  (13-01-2014),miffy7  (13-01-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    555
    Thanks
    422
    Thanked
    193
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I had two cat nappers 2, DS1 more so than DS2. I could very rarely settle them without the boob, but others could. I always figured that with me they could smell the milk and to them Mummy=food.
    I agree with Busy-Bee, boob fixes almost anything and no such thing as to many cuddles.
    Your relationship with your babies/kids doesn't have to be perfect, there will be many hiccups along the way but focus on the good stuff and try to relax and enjoy them because they stay little for such a short time.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to CassJ For This Useful Post:

    miffy7  (13-01-2014)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Brisbane North
    Posts
    4,460
    Thanks
    1,581
    Thanked
    1,802
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    maybe try an infant swing?

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to GlitterFarts For This Useful Post:

    miffy7  (13-01-2014)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    12
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    I definitely resort using my boob but sometimes even that doesn't work and he goes crazy! I know then he is def tired and just want to sleep but can't and we have used all sorts of things to try and get him to sleep and have now used a hammock with an automatic bouncer, but that doesn't work all the time. As my shoulder isn't 100% I really can't hold him for ages. The most 20-25 mins. But then to have to do this every 2 hrs or so isn't doable for me. I really need to get someone in to help me try and get him to settle in his cot and hopefully he can learn to self settle as this is all stressful and it's like he spends half the day crying when he is with me.

  9. #6
    MrJones&Me's Avatar
    MrJones&Me is offline sometimes as useless as the 'ueue' in queue
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    4,613
    Thanks
    1,993
    Thanked
    1,370
    Reviews
    22
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Sorry I haven't read replies, but I find holding DD in the cradle position & bouncing in the fit ball worked wonders at that age

    Eta just read someone else suggested it I know you said your shoulder is hiring but in my experience it usually took less than 10 minutes to get her to fall asleep that way.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to MrJones&Me For This Useful Post:

    miffy7  (14-01-2014)

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Adelaide
    Posts
    1,509
    Thanks
    396
    Thanked
    701
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Could your Mum wear a couple of your tops before she leaves? That way he might smell her and be a little more settled?

    When my DS was a newborn, he was so fickle with who he would settle down for. Some days I seemed to have the magic touch and other days it was DF.

    I second what has been said about a bouncer/swing - mine was a live saver!

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Curby For This Useful Post:

    miffy7  (14-01-2014)

  13. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    2,269
    Thanks
    2,955
    Thanked
    1,410
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    To a small extent I know how you feel -- my teacher DH is home for the Xmas holidays and he started settling our 3.5 month old for day naps. After a couple of weeks of this there were a few days when DS wouldn't settle for me. It was very upsetting.
    I will say though that 30 minutes of settling doesn't sound that unusual to me, but like PP the fitball works wonders (I feed on it too!).
    I've also found there are very few things that work 100% of the time. Find some things that work some of the time and rotate them. If your shoulder is a problem can you still wear a carrier? Bubs often fall asleep in them, and it would be a way of re-familiarising him with you and your scent and positive sleepy feelings.
    Another thing that sometimes works here is to put bubs on his front and pat his bum while shooshing. If you're not going to be in the same room, you can roll them onto their back once asleep or leave on tummy if you're around.

  14. The Following User Says Thank You to BettyW For This Useful Post:

    miffy7  (14-01-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. 7 month old cant self settle.. What worked for you??
    By biancam01 in forum 'No Cry' Sleeping Solutions
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 13-11-2013, 08:55
  2. How to teach a 12 month old to self settle?
    By IvyRain in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 28-05-2013, 03:50
  3. 23 month old can't self settle
    By CookingMonster in forum General Sleeping & Settling Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-02-2013, 22:10

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
KindyROO
KindyROO offers activities for babies & toddlers in a fun learning centre, focussing on developmental education. Classes are available at three Brisbane and two Gold Coast locations. Enrol today & help your child to reach their full potential. Visit the website to find out more.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!