Ds7 was born via emergency csection after being admitted only a few hrs after contractions started I was 7cm but he was in too much distress to continue naturally. I had a horrible recovery after being put under general anaesthetic and really hated the whole experience.
I read some amazing stories on Birth without fear of vbac and knew this was what I wanted when dd arrived late last year. I hope your journey to vbac is a happy one too!
This was our story, taken from my pregnancy diary at the time...
After loosing my mucous plug over three days, a bloody show on friday morning followed by semi regular braxtons most of friday giving us a false alarm.
So sunday morning rolls in (our EDD) and i was woken at 6am with a few little cramps. Identical to the ones from friday. GREAT i thought.. im going to be feeling a bit ick all day - this could make shopping and driving for a 2hrs to the wedding quite annoying. I got up to have a shower, thinking that would lessen the pain a little and then we could get ready for our exciting day ahead.
6.30am -I made it all of four steps to the end of the bed before i felt a trickle.. then a little more trickle.. I somewhat laughed, cried and yelled at DF all at the same time to throw me the towel i had been sleeping on for a few days since i was so afraid of my waters breaking in bed. He assumed the dog had been sick on the carpet and took his sweet time waking up to hand it over.. meanwhile - i couldnt stop laughing which only made more waters leak. In an effort not ruin the carpets DF lined the hall with towel after towel so i could waddle to the shower and get freshened up.
Contractions came on a little stronger at this point. 1 1/2min apart from the start.. only growing in strength. By this point i could talk at the peak ofthe contraction and called birth suite to let them know what was happening. As i was a VBAC canditate, i wasnt sure how long i was suppposed to stay home since my waters broke. We were told to head in as soon as we were ready and packed. I tried to eat some toast thinking i would need my strength but soon found i couldnt do a whole lot in the 60seconds between contractions and needed to be completely still and silent as they came on or it made them worse.
7.30am -So we headed into the hospital. The car trip wasnt great, but bearable. I had alot of ctxns being as they were still 1min ish apart but the pain level was manageable. DF was so calm and collected. We called my parents to let them know why we wouldnt be at the wedding.. we couldnt just not showup even thought we didnt want to tell ppl we were in labor so we could be left in peace. But after we called both sets of parents we turned our phones off.
8am- So we got to the triage midwife, met our student midwife there and got checked in. By this stage movement made the pain worse and i had to be 100% still or the contraction spiked and was much worse. I was monitored for a while in the ORC before she did an internal - which was pure agony, lying on my back was hell and i swear she was digging for gold up there. Turns out i was already at 5cm, my hindwaters had broken and Poppy was still very high, she hadnt dropped really at all.
9am- We finally got transferred down to birth suite and i hoped in the shower. The hot water was so nice, i started off just leaning on DF but eventually became tired and had to sit on the birth stool in the shower with DF supporting me.
At this point i was taking each contraction as it came, her heart rate was amazing i had wireless monitors on due to being a VBAC and they wanted to be 100% sure they could react at an instant should anything change ie - my Cscar rupturing, which is rare.. but none the less very serious. I also had a canula put in for the 'just in case' they needed an emergency C section should my scar begin to weaken, i would be able to get the general, IV lines etc instantly and she could be delivered within a matter of minutes. I wasnt really happy about having the needle taped into my hand, But after speaking with the midwives we decided it wasnt worth the potential delay to saving her life and mine when i really didnt want it more for comfort than anything else - potential benefit outweighed the risk.
11am- I was so exhausted.. i couldnt stand, i couldnt sit, the shower wasnt working anymore. With contractions back to back with less than 60sec to prepare for the next, i was just shattered. So i headed to the bed lying on my side and started holding DFs hand and sqeezing like mad at the peak of each contraction. Still breathing through them i asked for the gas to take the edge off.. the peak of each was getting more and more intense. I was barely talking by this stage and all my prep for massage and oils etc went out the window i couldnt have anyone touching me or talking or move at all as each came on. It was the only way to deal with them, to just concentrate on breathing and squeezing DFs hand. He also just gave me a gentle tap on the shoulder to remind me to relax my shoulders as i was tensing so hard.
12pm- Still lying on my side, cant talk, cant move, barely whisper 'WATER' after every other contraction as the gas was making my mouth dry. I had been really sick a few times and my student midwife was a lightning bolt accross the room with the sick bags coming, she didnt miss a thing!
By this stage i was tearing the walls off and screaming for an epidural. I couldnt do it. I couldnt handle the pain anymore. I needed it to stop. I told DF it was his turn, i didnt want to do this anymore. He should take over, afterall - it was his daughter too!
I knew in my head this was this was transition talking. I knew i was so close. But it seemed like a mountain of pain away still. I was begging and using all my sailor talk to scream for an epidural. DF was so calm and talked to me about why i didnt want it. Why i had told him a million times for the last 9mths not to let me do it, why it wasnt great for Poppy.. i hated him at that moment. With every cell in my body i hated him and loved him at the same time. But i also knew he was right. I knew i would rergret it, I knew i was too close to the end and the midwives wouldnt have time, i knew i could never sit upright and still enough for the needle, nor was 60sec in between contractions long enough for them to administer it. I knew all this.. but i needed to do something - so i asked fro something else. There had to be something they could do. THe gas was turned up to max and it wasnt working anymore. I was so close to the end but all too ready to give up.
1pm - The midwife did an internal and i was 8-9cm with my forewaters in tact. So my choices were to have her break the waters and things would likely move faster but more painful or leave them and have some morphine so i could get some form of rest before we hit 10cm and needed to push. I took the morphine. Even if it was only for 60sec between contractions, that little bit of rest was bliss and i dont think i would have been able to push without that break.
During the next few hrs, i knew in my head i needed to change positions, i couldnt push her out lying side on, it just didnt feel right. She needed gravity as she still wasnt engaging really far down. I rested for a while letting the morphine take the tip off the contractions, im not going to lie, they were still awful, but the rest in between was pure bliss and let me regroup in that little break to deal with the next one.
3.30pm - i finally managed to turn onto all fours leaning at the back of the bed which was raised, and pop - waters break and i felt a sudden pressure. This was it, time to push. There was no denying the feeling. Bearing down and squating on the bed they started coaching me on where and how to push. It was really hard, i didnt know how to isolate those muscles. I couldnt figure out the difference between when i was told i was doing it right and when i was pushing all wrong. Poppy didnt like me being on all fours, her hear rate dropped down and they wanted me on my back, sitting up with the ends of the bed up for leg supports. Changing position was excruciating, but her heart rate instantly improved and we went on with pushing.
4pm - I could finally feel her head low enough that when i pushed she moved forward and regressed just a little at the end of the contraction. I could see her little head coming, I could feel my baby, she as just there!! It was amazing!
I had been pushing for so long i was exhausted, my muscles were shaking from the strain, i could feel her just there, we were almost done.
As i pushed and pushed she came down that little bit more until i could feel her head was about ready to pop out completely, i was being coached to do little pushes and pants and was honestly waiting for the ring of fire or the burning. I could feel much more pressure, but somehow it wasnt as awful as i had expected it should be. Then with a little POP it was like a pressure release, her head was delivered!! Two more pushes and my baby was delivered up onto my chest.
She let out a tiny little cry and her bottom lip quivered and shook in a pout, she was amazing. I couldnt stop saying to DF 'we did it, we did it' it was the most amazing incredible, painfull, intense thing i have ever done and i still cant believe she is here and so real.
4.28pm.. the exact moment my brother was watching his bride walking down the isle. I gave birth to a perfectly healthy (not so little) 9pound 8 ounce baby girl.
We were able to spend alot of time after in the birth suite and soak it all in. THey werent busy and we had to wait for the OB to check if i needed any stitches. I ended up with a small graze internally, but she felt even though it 100% didnt need it, it was best to be cautious and would help recover the area with a few running stitches.
DF was incredible. I couldnt have asked for a better birth partner, he was there for every second supporting me and encouraging me in every way. He was talking when i needed him and silent when i didnt. He spoke for me when i couldnt and was my voice of reason when i lost the plot a little.
I got my VBAC. I got my healthy baby girl. I feel amazing and unstoppable! It is so nice to be home, i stayed just the one night. Poppy got the all clear and is healthy as can be and i am feeling really well. 2 days on my muscles in every part of my body are sore and aching, but nothing a hot shower cant fix. I am swollen, understandably, and need to use some ice packs to help.. but i am fairly sure when you birth a 9pd8ounce baby naturally.. that is to be expected!
I am truly blessed to have not only an amazing partner and two gorgeous children, but also to have experienced the most amazing birth and delivery. It was liberating and empowering and overwhelmingly surreal to let your body complete such a mind blowing journey.