I double barrelled rather than hyphenated my surname when we got married, just added DH's to the end of mine. I use both names for official purposes, just my maiden name for work, and usually just DH's socially if we're doing something together.
I had a lot of trouble deciding what to do with DD's name. Initially I thought we'd give her both names, but thinking long and hard about it, keeping my family name wasn't ever about passing it on. I just wasn't ready to give it up entirely, but still wanted to honour my husband by taking his as well. One day I might decide to change over completely, but by DD already having her dad's last name I won't be messing with her personal identity.
I want DD to have the same name as DH's boys for the sake of family unity, and if she wants to get married in the future I also don't want her to have to figure out what to do with 3 surnames!
If you are committed enough to your partner to be in a long term relationship and be having a child together, surely you have enough trust that you will stay together for the foreseeable future?? I know some ladies have said they regret their naming decisions as they have since broken up, but obviously at the time they weren't thinking that person would become their ex.
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