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  1. #11
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    I would say give bub your surname (especially as it is your DP who is choosing not to get married so I think he should relinquish the right to have his surname). Bub gets your surname in hospital anyway so maybe keep it that way? Good luck

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  3. #12
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    I'd keep your name and give that to bub, personally. If you do get married to him you can always change it if you want. I wish I'd never given my DD1 her bio father's surname.

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by bel2466 View Post
    (especially as it is your DP who is choosing not to get married so I think he should relinquish the right to have his surname).
    What the.... One could also say that the OP chose to have a child out of wedlock so relinquished the right for bub to have her surname...(or at least the right to use bubs name as leverage to con her partner into getting married).

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  6. #14
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    Thanks everyone. Theres a lot of mixed responses here. But i think it's looking like i need to sit down with my partner and express what i'm feeling here and get his input properly, rather then just a passing conversation with him which is the only discussion we've had so far. I don't want him to feel any pressure to get married (he never actually proposed to his first wife, she just started planning a wedding and he never had it in him to stand up and say anything, as they had been together long enough and family pressure to do the right thing etc etc etc). So i think i could talk to him a bit more, and maybe give him the option of me changing my name to his without the need for the marriage, and see how it goes. If he's really unhappy with that option too, then I guess the ball is in his court to either accept that this child will have a different name to his, or suck it up and give this child a long hypenated surname, which will likely change for her if she ever marries (as i know i'd want to lose a long-winded hyphenated name if given the choice) I feel mean doing this but if its important to me then i need to let him know how i feel. And hopefully i'm just overreacting with worse case scenarios. Thanks guys.
    Last edited by Roni83; 11-01-2014 at 15:27.

  7. #15
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    Good luck Roni, I'm sure it will work out :-) x

  8. #16
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    You can be 'known as' what ever name you like. You could hyphenate baby's surname and just use his (or yours) in every day life. You could give baby his name and you could be 'known as' his surname. There's lots of options that way.

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  10. #17
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    I'd probably just give the baby his name bub would have the same surname as half brothers and sisters too then, not sure if that worth considering or not.

  11. #18
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    Keep your name and give it to your baby.


    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  13. #19
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    I'd give bub his surname personally.

  14. #20
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    I think if he already has 2 kids with his surname...why not give this bub your surname.

    No pressure to get married attached...not for blackmail...but because he has passed on his name already and now you can have that same thing.

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