+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    93
    Thanked
    387
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Lovely insult... what should I do?

    My dad said "you didn't achieve much in life but you did make two wonderful kids"... wtf thanks dad!
    My parents have a knack for dishing out an insult wrapped in a complement, I usually don't let it bother me but lately I'm really picking up on them and I don't know how to deal with it...

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    1,201
    Thanks
    389
    Thanked
    363
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    :O Im so sorry he said such a nasty insensitive thing what a butt. I dont have any advice... actually I do. Im sorry but having kids is the most rewarding important thing anyone can do!!! I dont understand how he can say that being a parent himself. You are important and play a vital role in society. Without parents the human race would die. Thats pretty damn important in my opinion. Hugs hun.

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MayoBean For This Useful Post:

    ciaomamma  (11-01-2014),DesperatelySeekingSleep  (11-01-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    6,718
    Thanks
    3,789
    Thanked
    3,838
    Reviews
    17
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 14/11/14100 Posts in a week
    Water off a ducks back and next time reply "speak for yourself"

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to DesperatelySeekingSleep For This Useful Post:

    ciaomamma  (11-01-2014),Mokeybear  (11-01-2014)

  6. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Adelaide SA
    Posts
    4,843
    Thanks
    716
    Thanked
    733
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    "Must run in the family"

    I used this one when mum kept telling me I'd put on weight.

  7. The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to moongazer For This Useful Post:

    Ashram  (11-01-2014),Atropos  (11-01-2014),btmacxxx  (11-01-2014),ciaomamma  (11-01-2014),duncan_bayne  (11-01-2014),jfblady72  (11-01-2014),Mokeybear  (11-01-2014),Mummy Potato  (11-01-2014),Pusheen The Cat  (11-01-2014),Smyles  (11-01-2014),Starfish30  (11-01-2014),Summer  (12-01-2014),VicPark  (11-01-2014)

  8. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2011
    Posts
    83
    Thanks
    38
    Thanked
    32
    Reviews
    0
    Yeah, gee thanks parent, what a put down! And this superbly crafted insult implies you're washed up and finished - no more potential achievement for you this lifetime.

    My mother does this. The best way to handle it is to keep those expectations of moral support from your dad quite low, and don't accidentally ask for input. Go to others when your self esteem needs a boost. Make a joke of the 'classics' you've heard so far and see if each new back-hander surpasses the rest. My sister and I compare notes and sometimes laugh about epic insults that are now decades old. My husband is still reeling from receiving a battery powered nose hair trimmer and a book on anger transformation from my mum for Christmas. I usually get something on weight loss.

    If your feelings keep getting hurt, perhaps there's a little fear inside that there's truth to the insults or you're not valued/loved/worthy. So, remind yourself that you're not a kid, you don't need anyone's approval, you are the architect of your own life and will judge it for yourself against your own criteria at a time of your own choosing (and that you're a better parent).
    Last edited by Pru40; 11-01-2014 at 02:28.

  9. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Pru40 For This Useful Post:

    babyla  (11-01-2014),ciaomamma  (11-01-2014),LadyInWeighting  (11-01-2014),made2bAmummy  (11-01-2014),Mokeybear  (11-01-2014),Pusheen The Cat  (11-01-2014),wobbleyhorse  (11-01-2014)

  10. #6
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    7,878
    Thanks
    3,397
    Thanked
    5,160
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    For a start your life is hardly over and according to what life achievement grading scale is he referring to?? Pretty knobby thing for him to say to his daughter.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to babyla For This Useful Post:

    ciaomamma  (11-01-2014),Mokeybear  (11-01-2014)

  12. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    718
    Thanks
    1,642
    Thanked
    378
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Ugh! my dad says stuff like that all the time. I honestly think some people don't think before they speak and realize that they have put their foot in their mouth so they brush it off with something nice, as if it'll cancel out the insult.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Pusheen The Cat For This Useful Post:

    ciaomamma  (11-01-2014)

  14. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    1,403
    Thanks
    93
    Thanked
    387
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I'm assuming he's referring to the fact that I'm a sahm and I haven't done much with my university degree... What really bothers me tho is that my mum was a sahm for most of her life, is that what he thinks of his wife?
    Today he had something to say about my cooking... How I can bake lovely cakes and cookies but then I make 'quick meals' like home made pizza or stir fry or use the slow cooker, I actually had to explain to him that baking I can do whenever dinner is right in that crazy hour where my 21 months old is tiered and hungry and my 10 week old needs to be put to sleep, the man had lived in my house for 4 months he's either blind deaf and senile or he's really never looked after a child and run a house for more than half an hour!

  15. #9
    SpecialPatrolGroup's Avatar
    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    In the messy house, Brisbane
    Posts
    9,481
    Thanks
    2,180
    Thanked
    5,405
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    "I'm a product of your parenting"......except you are clearly more than the product of someone who makes nasty comments about you.

  16. The Following User Says Thank You to SpecialPatrolGroup For This Useful Post:

    ciaomamma  (12-01-2014)

  17. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2,623
    Thanks
    1,600
    Thanked
    2,159
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    "I didn't realise my life was already over! Wow. Thanks for letting me know!"

  18. The Following User Says Thank You to Shrillian For This Useful Post:

    ciaomamma  (12-01-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Some lovely advice about parenthood :)
    By ArthurDent in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 30-11-2013, 16:27
  2. Seeking a Lovely Lady to Donate Eggs
    By taweret07 in forum Egg Donor Needed
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 25-05-2013, 18:49

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
HuggleBib
The HuggleBib is not "just another" baby bib. Sure, your child may be a messy eater who gets more food ON them rather than IN them, so you dread cleaning after feeding times! Well the HuggleBib is THE best solution to help with all these daily tasks!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!