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  1. #81
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    ive worked in mental health...trying to get an inpatient bed in a public facility is like trying to get blood out of a stone unfortunately....often ppl have to had committed some physical act of self harm to get a spot, or be absolutely acutely and severely psychotic...it was pathetic and dreadful for the families trying to get family members admitted. still.....its clearly a failure of the mental health system in my opinion..

    and my BFF had PND....and yes i do think it was the ongoing pressure to bf her starving screaming baby for weeks and weeks that contributed and CHN etc saying keep going keep going..but it wasnt the full reason either....i have a photo of her and me with our babies at this time and whilst im glowing and smiling ear to ear she looked like death warmed up

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  3. #82
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    Instead of making breastfeeding the scapegoat of this case, people should be up in arms about better mental health services etc. The breast feeding only clouds the issue and obviously the UK are just as crap at understanfing and managing mental health as Australia is.

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  5. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I don't think I was brainwashed about bf my first. I just assumed it would be easy and that I would do it. I went to hospital after my waters had broken with no bottles, formula, nothing.
    You know, I think this is one of the problems. I see so many women go into hospital thinking that, since breastfeeding is natural, it's also easy. But often, it really isn't. It's presented as something you'll just be able to do - it's not brainwashing, it's just a lack of information, a little bit of assuming, and women who aren't comfortable sharing their experiences because BFing is something that's done, not discussed.

    I'm a reader (and a worrier, so I read to abate my worries!) and I read up on everything. Breastfeeding is generally presented as something that just happens. I found very few pregnancy sources even mention that it can be a difficult process that takes time to establish and practice - from mum and baby. Most of them do warn about the discomfort and pain that can come with breastfeeding, but they don't tell you that it's not just a matter of baby, meet boob, presto!

    And, unless you're hanging out at a BH-like place beforehand, it's so easy to go into the whole thing just assuming that you'll be able to breastfeed, or at the very least get the hang of it quickly. So if you aren't able to breastfeed straight away, and you're presented with an unhappy baby that you're unable to feed like you totally should be able to, it's emotionally traumatic. Add in the hormones, lack of sleep, lack of support (or just insensitive midwives / LCs / family / friends / whoever who don't get that they're not helping) and it's pretty easy to head on a downward spiral.
    Last edited by snowqu33n; 09-01-2014 at 09:08.

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  7. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    Instead of making breastfeeding the scapegoat of this case, people should be up in arms about better mental health services etc. The breast feeding only clouds the issue and obviously the UK are just as crap at understanfing and managing mental health as Australia is.
    I agree. My mum is a psychiatric nurse and the system is lacking terribly. Desperate people who are crying out for help get ignored. The stories she has told me and the things she has seen would make your toes curl. I think this case is a sad indictment on the state of mental health and could easily happen here in Australia.

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  9. #85
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    Quote Originally Posted by wikidwitch View Post
    You know, I think this is one of the problems. I see so many women go into hospital thinking that, since breastfeeding is natural, it's also easy. But often, it really isn't. It's presented as something you'll just be able to do - it's not brainwashing, it's just a lack of information, a little bit of assuming, and women who aren't comfortable sharing their experiences because BFing is something that's done, not discussed.

    I'm a reader (and a worrier, so I read to abate my worries!) and I read up on everything. Breastfeeding is generally presented as something that just happens. I found very few pregnancy sources even mention that it can be a difficult process that takes time to establish and practice - from mum and baby. Most of them do warn about the discomfort and pain that can come with breastfeeding, but they don't tell you that it's not just a matter of baby, meet boob, presto!

    And, unless you're hanging out at a BH-like place beforehand, it's so easy to go into the whole thing just assuming that you'll be able to breastfeed, or at the very least get the hang of it quickly. So if you aren't able to breastfeed straight away, and you're presented with an unhappy baby that you're unable to feed like you totally should be able to, it's emotionally traumatic. Add in the hormones, lack of sleep, lack of support (or just insensitive midwives / LCs / family / friends / whoever who don't get that they're not helping) and it's pretty easy to head on a downward spiral.
    Yes, yes, yes - agree 1000%!!!

    why can't we be told during pregnancy and anti-natal classes about the challenges and hurdles of Breastfeeding. I had no experience to babies per dd and thought I put bub to boob and it all happens magically, I had read babies are "hard wired" to bf and its in their instincts.

    why can't we have real life mums share experiences who had a hard time bf and then went onto bf successfully, why can't we have a mum happily ff sharing her story. Oh that's right, we need to believe bf is all rosy, and they wonder why so many have issues, were not presented with real life issues.

    why can't we be told of the multitude of problems that can occur, ie that some babies don't latch, it is difficult to feed some babies, drugs in labour can hamper bf attempts in the initial days. We need to be told not to move bub from boob (as realistic as possible) for the first week to establish supply - I had never heard of demand feeding until my bub was 8 days old as my hospital just told me feed every 3 hours so I did.

    Most importantly why can't we be told bf isn't all or nothing. You can comp feed with formula, donor milk, exclusively bf, pump full time, syringe feed, cup feed, bottle feed, ff full time.

    Why is it bf, bf, bf. we aren't told of any other options until its too late and most have fully weaned from breast.

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  11. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by Missy RJ View Post
    Yes, yes, yes - agree 1000%!!!

    why can't we be told during pregnancy and anti-natal classes about the challenges and hurdles of Breastfeeding. I had no experience to babies per dd and thought I put bub to boob and it all happens magically, I had read babies are "hard wired" to bf and its in their instincts.

    why can't we have real life mums share experiences who had a hard time bf and then went onto bf successfully, why can't we have a mum happily ff sharing her story. Oh that's right, we need to believe bf is all rosy, and they wonder why so many have issues, were not presented with real life issues.

    why can't we be told of the multitude of problems that can occur, ie that some babies don't latch, it is difficult to feed some babies, drugs in labour can hamper bf attempts in the initial days. We need to be told not to move bub from boob (as realistic as possible) for the first week to establish supply - I had never heard of demand feeding until my bub was 8 days old as my hospital just told me feed every 3 hours so I did.

    Most importantly why can't we be told bf isn't all or nothing. You can comp feed with formula, donor milk, exclusively bf, pump full time, syringe feed, cup feed, bottle feed, ff full time.

    Why is it bf, bf, bf. we aren't told of any other options until its too late and most have fully weaned from breast.
    You're having a baby. You have nine months (and longer) to get educated on this stuff. Why wait until the baby is born to finally concern yourself with the nitty gritty of feeding your child? Some of it is learn as you go, but there is a heap of information out there on all sides of the fence that you could be aware of before the fact that would make the transition easier.

    This doesn't negate the role of supportive medical staff of course (and support from outside organisations), but I think there is no excuse for not knowing hospital protocols and making alternate feeding arrangements just in case it's required.

    I've had two kids, 12 years apart, in two countries and I don't feel like I was overwhelmed by any one message. I'm pretty stubborn though and do whatever I like for the most part. I also had my fair share of breastfeeding difficulty and PND.

    I think that focusing on BFing in this case passes the buck from the authorities in charge of mental health support where it belongs.

  12. #87
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    No, it isn't a scapegoat - it is just another part of the story.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stiflers Mom View Post
    Instead of making breastfeeding the scapegoat of this case, people should be up in arms about better mental health services etc. The breast feeding only clouds the issue and obviously the UK are just as crap at understanfing and managing mental health as Australia is.

  13. #88
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    It is the part of the story that gets people indignant because more people have had a breastfeeding experience compared to stories of being ignored, mismanaged or turned away from adequate mental health care. Nothing changes if the major message here - a woman dying because her mental health care wasn't managed correctly- gets lost in a sea of breastfeeding stories.

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  15. #89
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    I'm not a mum yet so don't fully understand how it would feel but I don't understand the notion of waiting for someone to give me permission to feed my baby how I choose too..why wait to be told by a doctor or midwife if it's clearly not working? If you don't tell anyone no one will know how you choose to feed..

    Just today I saw an article claiming there was a link between bf and autism..these so called professionals wouldn't no they're head from their behind

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mum2b87 View Post
    I'm not a mum yet so don't fully understand how it would feel but I don't understand the notion of waiting for someone to give me permission to feed my baby how I choose too..why wait to be told by a doctor or midwife if it's clearly not working? If you don't tell anyone no one will know how you choose to feed..

    Just today I saw an article claiming there was a link between bf and autism..these so called professionals wouldn't no they're head from their behind
    I guess if you have your heart set on breastfeeding and it's not working, you want someone to confirm that you've tried your hardest and that it's okay to look at other options. If I was in this situation that's what I would be hoping for.


 

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