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  1. #21
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    I think blaming her loved ones is incredibly unfair. She begged for help. The system failed her.

    I know what its like to beg for help and be ignored by medical professionals. What this poor woman must have been feeling so tragic, my heart breaks for her loved ones.

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    Last edited by peanutmonkey; 08-01-2014 at 07:57.

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  3. #22
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    I disagree Vicpark that the breast is best message isn't to blame for this woman's death. If the people she reached out to weren't so focused on the breast is best message, they would have clearly seen that her PND was really the issue that needed to be addressed, not the breastfeeding.
    This was definitely a case of the medical professionals having the wrong focus.

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  5. #23
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    I can't even read this article. The headline is just too awful. My stomach is churning.

  6. #24
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    The poor woman had a history of mental health issues so I think it's too simplistic to say that the pressure on her to BF was the direct cause of her death. Obviously it was not one factor, and another women faced with the same circumstances would likely not have taken her own life.

    I do think though that the focus on the BF "issues" seriously clouded the focus on her severe mental health issues.

    The woman and her husband asked for help, with her even asking to be admitted to hospital. These requests were ignored an in my view that is what led to this tragedy. If she had been admitted to a mother and baby unit the outcome could have been very different.

    Does anyone know why this story has come out again at this time? It was a few years ago and I saw it on my FB too. Just curious...

  7. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I don't think ff is deemed as evil. I think women who have been unable to bf can be upset and sensitive and read things in a discussion that weren't actually said.

    Sure breastfeeding is promoted as the ideal but that's because it is. It is not winding back on the breast is best campaign that needs to occur. What needs to happen is for education to include the message that "ff is ok too." And for mothers to not judge themselves harshly.

    As for the mum in the story I feel for her little girl and hubby. However it's obvious that she was pre-disposed to depression. Perhaps the hospital could have done more to treat her. Perhaps the hubby could have been more vocal. Perhaps the mum would have been stressed to the max and been at risk regardless of the breastfeeding problems. Regardless, the breast is best message isn't to blame.
    Vic Park, I agree with you on most things, but I have to disagree with you on this occassion. I do think there are definitely some direct negative comments directed at ff mums, it's not always ff mums reading between the lines and making things up or even just changing the message.

    I remember reading a thread a year or so ago about people who were saying that donor milk should always be a better alternative to ff and that ff should be an absolute last resort. They even listed the order of the best to the worst way to feed your baby.

    I had my DD through the public system and while I was waiting to do my gestational diabetes test after drinking the hiddeous sugary syrup, I was pulled into a mini breast feeding class that I didn't ask to go to, but felt I had to. This was the first instance of the nazi breast is best campaign I was exposed to.

    I then watched a birth video in the hospital birthing classes which showed and had a voice over, of a baby who minutes after being born instinctively knew where the mum's breast was and what it was for and how to feed and there the baby was latched on and feeding. And that was that!

    When DD took forever to latch on and I could only get a few droplets of colostrum those first few days, had numerous midwives poking and prodding me and squeezing me and using a syringe to get out those tiny droplets of colostrum made me feel like an animal.

    Not once did anyone (other than my mum and mother in law and DH) suggest formula feeding. I was destrought. All I had in my mind was that ridiculous video of the baby instincitvely feeding from it's mother with such ease in my head wondering, why that wasn't happening for me. I always took it as a given that I would breastfeed for a year given the messages I had pre-baby and it wasn't until those first few days that I realised, you know what breast really isn't best...... for me. I fed DD for 4 months, she had silent refulx caused by a cows milk protein intolerance and we could have stopped months of her screaming in pain by just trying different formulas from those early days. It would have saved me and her a lot of pain and stress. It would have saved my DH from the stress of seeing me not enjoying one bit of our newborn..... but not once did my midwife, GP or anyone suggest formula to me despite knowing my struggles.

    Unfortunately the breast is best campaign inevidably equals formula feeding is worst.

    I had PnD, but I was lucky enough to come out of it once DD was on Forumula and especially once she started sleeping well, I was lucky, I KNOW my PnD was caused by the breast feeding struggle and sleep deprivation so I just know that I would far rather a mother formula feed and get the sleep she needs (I'm not saying the two are connected always, but they are two separate things that can lead to PnD in those mothers pre-disposed to it) to be the best mother she can be, than be deep in depression by doing what is 'best' (=breast)

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  9. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post

    Does anyone know why this story has come out again at this time? It was a few years ago and I saw it on my FB too. Just curious...
    Do you question why I've posted it now, or why the journalist has written it now?

    If it's the former, I only found it yesterday when looking at another article about taking toddlers on holidays (it's on the same site, also a good read and a lighter story than this one).

    If it's the latter, I'm unsure, perhaps there is a bit of an agenda there??


  10. #27
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    I just read about this on fearless formula feeder, it's such at tragic case
    As for the breast feeding pressure, it's getting ridiculous. I agree breast milk is optimal, but it's not always best for every family and that's ok, formula is a great, healthy substitute that we're lucky to have access too.
    The message is obviously being pushed too hard when these type of stories start surfacing. I've read about how the pressure to breast feed is driving mothers to extremes and that's not good for mothers or their babies (or anyone else in the family who has to watch their loved ones suffer). There needs to be more acceptance in the parenting/medical community for all feeding types.
    Last edited by Amiedoll; 08-01-2014 at 08:52.

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  12. #28
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    No not you! Why the journalist wrote it now. It popped up on a local mums group page on FB too so I just wondered

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  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allie Pallie View Post
    Vic Park, I agree with you on most things, but I have to disagree with you on this occassion. I do think there are definitely some direct negative comments directed at ff mums, it's not always ff mums reading between the lines and making things up or even just changing the message.

    I remember reading a thread a year or so ago about people who were saying that donor milk should always be a better alternative to ff and that ff should be an absolute last resort. They even listed the order of the best to the worst way to feed your baby.

    I had my DD through the public system and while I was waiting to do my gestational diabetes test after drinking the hiddeous sugary syrup, I was pulled into a mini breast feeding class that I didn't ask to go to, but felt I had to. This was the first instance of the nazi breast is best campaign I was exposed to.

    I then watched a birth video in the hospital birthing classes which showed and had a voice over, of a baby who minutes after being born instinctively knew where the mum's breast was and what it was for and how to feed and there the baby was latched on and feeding. And that was that!

    When DD took forever to latch on and I could only get a few droplets of colostrum those first few days, had numerous midwives poking and prodding me and squeezing me and using a syringe to get out those tiny droplets of colostrum made me feel like an animal.

    Not once did anyone (other than my mum and mother in law and DH) suggest formula feeding. I was destrought. All I had in my mind was that ridiculous video of the baby instincitvely feeding from it's mother with such ease in my head wondering, why that wasn't happening for me. I always took it as a given that I would breastfeed for a year given the messages I had pre-baby and it wasn't until those first few days that I realised, you know what breast really isn't best...... for me. I fed DD for 4 months, she had silent refulx caused by a cows milk protein intolerance and we could have stopped months of her screaming in pain by just trying different formulas from those early days. It would have saved me and her a lot of pain and stress. It would have saved my DH from the stress of seeing me not enjoying one bit of our newborn..... but not once did my midwife, GP or anyone suggest formula to me despite knowing my struggles.

    Unfortunately the breast is best campaign inevidably equals formula feeding is worst.

    I had PnD, but I was lucky enough to come out of it once DD was on Forumula and especially once she started sleeping well, I was lucky, I KNOW my PnD was caused by the breast feeding struggle and sleep deprivation so I just know that I would far rather a mother formula feed and get the sleep she needs (I'm not saying the two are connected always, but they are two separate things that can lead to PnD in those mothers pre-disposed to it) to be the best mother she can be, than be deep in depression by doing what is 'best' (=breast)
    I've had 3 babies. None of them rooted for my breast. 2/3 were breastfed. My first was ff, and it was the suggested by a midwife in hospital that I stop bf because it really wasn't working out.

  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I don't think ff is deemed as evil. I think women who have been unable to bf can be upset and sensitive and read things in a discussion that weren't actually said.
    So it's all in ffer's head bc we just feel guilty? With respect, this gets thrown around a lot on this forum by bfers. You are a logical woman.... why do you think literally hundreds of women on this site say they feel constantly judged, by middies/gps and society? sure some may be their own emotional issues, but logically, it can't be all of us right? could it be that many of these women are in fact subjected to militant OTT midwives? judged by family?

    I know you would say ignore them. But for many women, they are at their most vulnerable at this time. Women shouldn't have to just ignore it, it shouldn't be happening at all. There is an epidemic atm of women being pressured into bfing to the point of PND yet little to no tangible support. That is the reason for poor bfing rates, not lack of education.

    And I agree Kw, I don't believe bfing was the whole issue she killed herself but it formed part of it.

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