+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 3 FirstFirst 123
Results 21 to 28 of 28
  1. #21
    Mod-Nomsie's Avatar
    Mod-Nomsie is offline Administrator
    Winner 2009/10/11/12/13 - Most helpful Moderator
    Winner 2011 - Naughtiest/Cheekiest Mod
    Winner - Quickest 'Thanker' on the Hub
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Vic
    Posts
    23,657
    Thanks
    6,899
    Thanked
    7,027
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    200 Posts in a week100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 15/1/15
    My DP sounds almost identical at that age. He was 27 when we met, and I just 22. It was ok at that age, although I did feel he was getting a bit old to be acting like a 21 year old. He was 30 when our twins were born, and it spiralled out of control.

    So much so that after one particularly alcohol-fuelled evening where I felt things had gone beyond ok, I packed the kids in the car, said goodbye and that I didn't know when I would be home. He was miserable. So was I. I am stubborn though, and wouldn't leave unless we had tried everything, which we hadn't. And plus I didn't really have anywhere to go. SO, I came home and told him that he was way out of line. He stayed sober for 11 months.

    Yes, he did start drinking again, but never in the same quantities.

    In the past, when he was drinking it would trigger a physical reaction in me. I would be tense, walking on egg-shells and feeling sick, never knowing how the alcohol would react with him. (I will stress- he is and never has been violent towards me or the kids- just stupid risk-taking behaviour- burn-outs, public urination etc)

    He is NOTHING like that now (although he is now 35), but I still have the same reaction to his drinking. He can and does stop at one or two, and I even got the surprise of my life this morning; he is currently away on a boys weekend in Canberra at the Summernats- usually he gets blind drunk- he has had 3 very quiet nights so far, gone to bed at a reasonable hour and behaved himself very well.

    My point is, yes- they can and will change if the need arises for it. It took time- I've been with my DP for over 8 years and in the beginning I remember asking his friends if he was ever sober.. now he rarely drinks and behaves himself well. I never, ever nagged him about his baviour, but I made it known to him how his drinking affected me, how it made me feel and the negative impacts it was having on his life (health, money, social etc).

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Nomsie For This Useful Post:

    Mokeybear  (05-01-2014),ozeymumof5  (05-01-2014),SHAELEEJANE  (05-01-2014)

  3. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Central Coast, NSW
    Posts
    351
    Thanks
    152
    Thanked
    177
    Reviews
    0
    Thank you all for your advice, I've got a lot to think about. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do, I guess It's a bit of a waiting game to see if he can pull his finger out and keep his word.

  4. #23
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    199
    Thanks
    204
    Thanked
    85
    Reviews
    0
    Nomsie's story is your best case scenario. She has made it known drinking is not ok and she will leave. Very hard to do and super brave.
    Don't let him keep getting away with this if its not acceptable to you. If he is serious about you and your life together he will make things work and there will be huge changes soon.

  5. #24
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    sydney
    Posts
    285
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    60
    Reviews
    0
    If he stays in this circle of friends and family nothing will change and I don't see anything will stop because of peer pressure.

    Don't bring children into this environment, my MIL is an alcoholic but even she admitted through AA only 5% of people ever stay away booze always relapsing. Also you must look at this in an another angle his family are drinkers and your children would most likely end up like this too, a very scary thought. Good luck and keep us posted.

  6. #25
    kiwimum890's Avatar
    kiwimum890 is offline It won't happen overnight, but it will happen!
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    751
    Thanks
    173
    Thanked
    273
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    How have things been going Vonnie89??

  7. #26
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Central Coast, NSW
    Posts
    351
    Thanks
    152
    Thanked
    177
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by kiwimum890 View Post
    How have things been going Vonnie89??
    Things have been going really well. I put my foot down and told him that he needs to sort his shiz out because I wasn't having a bar of it and he acknowledged that he has a problem stopping once he starts. He's had a few sober weeks and actually went out to the pub last night with the boys, had a few beers then came home of his own free will. I was so proud of him! Things are definitely looking up and I'll continue to support him. Thanks for checking in on me =)

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Vonnie89 For This Useful Post:

    cluckcluck  (26-01-2014),Mod-Nomsie  (26-01-2014),teresew  (12-02-2014)

  9. #27
    kiwimum890's Avatar
    kiwimum890 is offline It won't happen overnight, but it will happen!
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    751
    Thanks
    173
    Thanked
    273
    Reviews
    6
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Vonnie89 View Post
    Things have been going really well. I put my foot down and told him that he needs to sort his shiz out because I wasn't having a bar of it and he acknowledged that he has a problem stopping once he starts. He's had a few sober weeks and actually went out to the pub last night with the boys, had a few beers then came home of his own free will. I was so proud of him! Things are definitely looking up and I'll continue to support him. Thanks for checking in on me =)
    That sounds like a very positive step in the right direction. Fingers crossed he keeps up the good work! All the best 😃

  10. #28
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    10
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    2
    Reviews
    0
    so happy to read this thread and the positive response it has had... hope it continues to be positive for you....


 

Similar Threads

  1. Reasons men can use for not drinking?
    By hummingbird1 in forum IVF
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 26-11-2013, 09:58
  2. DH going out drinking while u are 39W?
    By Lolakitty in forum Third Trimester Chat
    Replies: 118
    Last Post: 21-08-2013, 08:19
  3. Not drinking it all
    By curiouschildcare in forum Bottlefeeding Support
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 16-07-2013, 09:38

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Bamboo Lulu
Unique, non-toxic wooden eco toys for babies. Water-based paints, saliva-resistant & baby safe. Super soft, prints & basics for baby, made from bamboo & organic cotton. Hypoallergenic - great for eczema relief. FREE gift with purchase. Code BUBHUB
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
The MAMA Centre
Pregnancy, birth & beyond care with your very own midwife. Home & hospital birth support, VBACs, antenatal & postnatal care by medicare eligible midwives & holistic health practitioners. Massage, chiro, naturopathy, yoga, counselling & beauty therapy
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!