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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    Ok I'd fall into normal circumstances, I think I'll make an appointment with a lawyer. As time goes on his ideas on raising a male child get stranger & I have concerns for the baby's welfare if he's left alone with his father.

    It feels really bad to write that😔
    Also, you won't be able to just go to court- if you can't agree on a parenting plan you have to go to mediation first. It only gets to court if that fails. There are some exception to this rule that usually involve domestic violence. Strange ideas won't cut it unless they involve neglect and/or abuse. It's a tough system.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    I should clarify that the reason I ask that is because obviously me breast feeding would impact on him having bub for an extended period of time.

    From day 1 dh has been very pushy that I should express so I don't need to be with bub all the time ( as he hates his job & has visions of staying at home while I work but it won't be happening as he's already told me this baby won't be allowed to be a sook & won't pick it up when it cries, nor can he sleep in our bedroom )
    That is awful. Rooming in is recommended by SIDS, for one! I wouldn't feel comfortable with leaving him to look after the bub either

  3. #13
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    We have done the court orders before for dsd so I know it's a long process and I doubt it would get to court, we could sort something out in mediation.

    In all honesty I'm concerned enough that I wouldn't leave bub alone with him even if we stayed together however if we seperate he will at some point have his son on his own.

    This is my concern as I am now 110% certain that he would have no problem useing physical violence on his son, no regrets at all.

    I feel very foolish admitting this as mostly I think I've turned a blind eye to some raging red flags.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    Actually Atropos raises a good point - time. You shouldn't have too much to worry about in the newborn period. It took me 6 months to even get into our first joint session with Relationships Australia. Then we had two more sessions over the next 12 months. Their waiting lists are huge. If you end up in court you can add another year or so to that. The baby could potentially be two before any firm custody arrangement is in place. However, this could be fast tracked considerably if he pays for private mediation and then lodges urgent interim orders with the family court.

    Still searching for the other thread.
    Totally agree with this you have got time on your side, the wheels turn quite slowly.

    Offer short frequent visits with you in the mean time if worst comes to worst.

  5. #15
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    I just want to be prepared mentally as I don't want to rely on his current lack of interest in the baby

  6. #16
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    Thank you that's very helpful

  7. #17
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    Thank you again

  8. #18
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    Hi!
    I was a single mum when my son was born, and although there were no abuse issues, I went through all that visitation stuff with a newborn. My son is now 17m and we have just sorted out custody orders!
    My son was bf and my ex constantly complained that my bf was preventing him from quality extended time with the baby and frequently demanded I bottle feed or express. I just refused to bottle feed and its not recommended that you express in the first 6 weeks as this can create chaos with your supply. I then developed oversupply so it wasn't recommended I express anyway.
    So for the first 6 weeks the ex only had visits with me present so I could bf when needed. Then he would have 2hr visits but return my son so he could be fed 3hourly. Then as his feeds decreased this slowly increased. His visits were every 2nd weekend
    It's been a constant battle with the visits and him wanting more time with my son, but I have just stuck to my guns, safe in the knowledge that while bf, there is not much he can do!
    Hope this helps?

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to KateSc For This Useful Post:

    ourbradybunch  (06-01-2014)

  10. #19
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    These threads always make me feel a bit sick as I went through this with my newborn. I won't say much here but if you want to know how my situation turned out please feel free to PM.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Stiflers Mom For This Useful Post:

    Ellewood  (08-01-2014),Mokeybear  (06-01-2014)

  12. #20
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    Inboxed you


 

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