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  1. #521
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    MCHN crushing confidence with a single backhanded comment (ps that was said as a joke, there are some really good ones)

    I totally get it, DD isn't a fantastic sleeper. She has never fallen asleep by herself, hated the pram and only started sleeping in that at about 5mths old (that lasted about 2mths but doesn't sleep in it anymore) and I could count on my hands the number of times she fell asleep in the car. She wouldn't take a dummy, would only sleep on me and wanted to boob constantly. You are not alone and you are doing a good job

    You are doing a great job, it is hard work and not to be disrespectful to other mothers because everyone is fighting their own battle but unless you have had a high needs baby you can't quite comprehend just how hard it is.

    You will find your groove and what works, even if it takes some time. What do you method do you feel the most comfortable/least anxious/have the most success with? Maybe stick with the the method that works best for you and reevaluate in a few days.

    I don't know if this helps but I use to persevere with the morning sleep in the cot or on the bed and then do whatever works for the rest of the day.



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  2. #522
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    That doesn't mean you are the problem. It means you have an illness that needs sympathy and understanding.



    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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  4. #523
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    Thanks ladies.

    Im so frustrated, I have no idea what im doing wrong - am I misreading his cues?

    Ds had been awake for about an hour & a half, when he became really grizzly & started rubbing his eyes & burying his face & jerky arms. He had a clean nappy so I immediately took him straight to bed & now an hour & a half later im still trying to get him to go down anywhere (tried the cot with no luck, now trying the rocker)

    What am I doing wrong? They were the first cues I saw, he was happy before that.

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  5. #524
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    Heartstrings it seems to me Bub is already over tired when you are going to put him down. Maybe try settling after an hour of awake time.

  6. #525
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    Ill try an hour next time, but I honestly didnt see any cues at all before those ones.

    After I put him down he then lay in his cot for over half an hour clucking (happy noises), rolling around etc & every now & then rubbing eyes & yawning. Then all of a sudden he just lost the plot & started screaming. So now im really confused about his cues & whether he was actually tired or not

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  7. #526
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    Thanks ladies.

    Im so frustrated, I have no idea what im doing wrong - am I misreading his cues?

    Ds had been awake for about an hour & a half, when he became really grizzly & started rubbing his eyes & burying his face & jerky arms. He had a clean nappy so I immediately took him straight to bed & now an hour & a half later im still trying to get him to go down anywhere (tried the cot with no luck, now trying the rocker)

    What am I doing wrong? They were the first cues I saw, he was happy before that.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    When you out him down, do you have a set of activities you do before putting him down, or just wrap him and put him down? I used to do that with DD and that was part of the problem, she had no idea she was meant to sleep.

    Could you say goodbye to some toys, sit down and read a short book, wrap him, cuddle him and sing a song. Tell him you're about to out him down and it's time for sleep. Though he doesn't understand the words, doing the same routine before his sleep he will begin to know it's sleep time. If you just whisk him away for where he was wrap him and put him down, he probably still thinks it's play time which is why he just lays there cooing, then he gets over tired and cries out for your assistance to get to sleep.

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  9. #527
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    Thanks a-squared. I do have a short routine (put him in his wrap, tell him its sleepy time, turn on white noise & give him a cuddle) but I might try adding a song or story every time & see if that helps

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  10. #528
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    Honestly its hard to believe that im not the problem when im constantly getting told that the only reason he wont settle for me is because im stressed & anxious. Even the MCHN told me that.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Was told exact same thing with my first by the same person, thanks for your support. Not!! I didn't start out stressed and anxious; I became that way mothering a super alert, extremely wakeful, sleep refusing, food intolerances and refluxy, tongue-tied baby!! And did the MCHN offer any help in addressing his issues? None. Just said in a backwards, but clear,way that I was the problem.

    I really do know how you feel. At some point I just had to let the sleep thing go and even though my baby didn't really change, I changed, and that helped me quite a bit. I remember reading your posts a few months ago @heartstringz and I couldn't get over the similarities between you with your first and me with mine.

    Try not to feel like you are the problem. You've got so much on your plate and no one gives any indication that things could be this hard as a mum! It's little wonder you don't feel like yourself. And if you want to, try to choose each day to give the finger to all the things he 'should' be doing and isn't. My dd 4 month old is not even making 12 hours sleep in 24 most days at the moment. I got all panicky about it for awhile, but I'm already doing my best and if my best isn't good enough, well, so be it.

    Hope you're okay. I really do know how tough it is. You WILL get through this. xoxo

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  12. #529
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I want to throw myself off a roof. I am so sick to death of my 12month olds crappy crappy sleep. This is the second or third night in a row he's been awake for 2+ hours in the middle of the night.

  13. #530
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    I have no advise @rainbowroad but you have my sympathy!

    Tonight was the first night in Dd's 10 months of life that I left her to cry herself to sleep. I now have a bad case of the mummy guilts and haven't slept because of it.

    She only has one day sleep which isn't really enough so by 6 she needs to be in bed, but lately she hasn't been falling asleep and has cried when put to bed until she falls asleep in her bouncer or in my arms at 8-9. Tonight I tried to get her to sleep for hours and hours, by 9.30 I was exhausted and just put her in her bed and walked away. She did end up falling asleep after not to long but I have never been able to leave her to cry before, I don't know what is what that made me allow myself to do it this time.

    I feel awful.


 

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