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  1. #511
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    I will try & take him to a paed but I dont know if there is anything wrong with him, its me. Something is wrong with me. He settles & goes to sleep for dh, he just wont do it for me. Never has, since the day we brought him home. Or if he does its never in his cot (which is problematic at night) & only after a massive battle.

    Im trying to get help. And I try to persevere with the methods. Settling on his side & banging the mattress are new methods I was given & ive tried them every sleep (for at least 30 minutes each time) for a week & a half now with no success.

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    Default Sleep vents

    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    I will try & take him to a paed but I dont know if there is anything wrong with him, its me. Something is wrong with me. He settles & goes to sleep for dh, he just wont do it for me. Never has, since the day we brought him home. Or if he does its never in his cot (which is problematic at night) & only after a massive battle.

    Im trying to get help. And I try to persevere with the methods. Settling on his side & banging the mattress are new methods I was given & ive tried them every sleep (for at least 30 minutes each time) for a week & a half now with no success.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    A paed could at least rule out my medical reasons for his unsettledness

    *edited as my post didn't come across in the right way
    Last edited by A-Squared; 19-11-2014 at 12:24.

  3. #513
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    I will try & take him to a paed but I dont know if there is anything wrong with him, its me. Something is wrong with me. He settles & goes to sleep for dh, he just wont do it for me. Never has, since the day we brought him home. Or if he does its never in his cot (which is problematic at night) & only after a massive battle.

    Im trying to get help. And I try to persevere with the methods. Settling on his side & banging the mattress are new methods I was given & ive tried them every sleep (for at least 30 minutes each time) for a week & a half now with no success.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app


    NO.


    YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM.

    Most children are like this for their mothers. My own are certainly like it for me. If I am around, DD MUST be fed to sleep, and through the night from about 11pm onwards I MUST BE LAYING BESIDE her. If it's DF she will be cuddled to sleep. If it's my Mum she will be patted to sleep.

    THE PROBLEM IS NOT YOU.

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  5. #514
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    Quote Originally Posted by [Mod] Nomsie View Post


    NO.


    YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM.

    Most children are like this for their mothers. My own are certainly like it for me. If I am around, DD MUST be fed to sleep, and through the night from about 11pm onwards I MUST BE LAYING BESIDE her. If it's DF she will be cuddled to sleep. If it's my Mum she will be patted to sleep.

    THE PROBLEM IS NOT YOU.


    I so agree 100% it is not you! And anxiety isnt something you can just turn off so please please dont beat yourself up!

    My DS1 never settled for me. Ever. The only way I could get him to sleep half the time was driving in the car, then I was so tired that once he fell asleep I'd have to park under a tree in a park, or in an undercover carpark and I'd nap too. Thank god it wasn't summer. I literally felt like I couldn't do anything right. DH could settle him, get him to sleep, get him to take his reflux meds without a huge fight. I felt like a failure. It wasnt until he started crawling and walking that he tired himself out enough to sleep easily for me.

    Im sorry there isnt a magical way to fix it for you because boy do I understand how hard it is. But please please dont blame yourself. You're a fantastic mother who is going above and beyond for her son. Hugs xo

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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    I will try & take him to a paed but I dont know if there is anything wrong with him, its me. Something is wrong with me. He settles & goes to sleep for dh, he just wont do it for me. Never has, since the day we brought him home. Or if he does its never in his cot (which is problematic at night) & only after a massive battle.

    Im trying to get help. And I try to persevere with the methods. Settling on his side & banging the mattress are new methods I was given & ive tried them every sleep (for at least 30 minutes each time) for a week & a half now with no success.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    YOU are NOT the problem!!!!!! Please remember all of us went thru this crap with our kids.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  7. #516
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    Honestly its hard to believe that im not the problem when im constantly getting told that the only reason he wont settle for me is because im stressed & anxious. Even the MCHN told me that.

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    I hear you sister! Currently we are about a month in to transitioning mr 3 into his big bed. I used to be able to pop him in the cot, read a story, give him a couple of pats and walk out. He would go off to sleep. Now, I try to put him to bed and when I try to walk out, he loses the plot and gets out of bed and carries on until I lose the plot too and plonk him back in the cot then walk out to dh and ask him to sort him out. Usually 10 min later, he's back and mr 3 is either asleep or quiet in bed. It does my head in! Then the other night he had a sleep over and my parents house and went to bed, went off to sleep and then slept through til 7:10am. One of us have been getting into bed with him every freaking night for weeks!!! I feel like I'm being played lol

  9. #518
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    MCHN crushing confidence with a single backhanded comment (ps that was said as a joke, there are some really good ones)

    I totally get it, DD isn't a fantastic sleeper. She has never fallen asleep by herself, hated the pram and only started sleeping in that at about 5mths old (that lasted about 2mths but doesn't sleep in it anymore) and I could count on my hands the number of times she fell asleep in the car. She wouldn't take a dummy, would only sleep on me and wanted to boob constantly. You are not alone and you are doing a good job

    You are doing a great job, it is hard work and not to be disrespectful to other mothers because everyone is fighting their own battle but unless you have had a high needs baby you can't quite comprehend just how hard it is.

    You will find your groove and what works, even if it takes some time. What do you method do you feel the most comfortable/least anxious/have the most success with? Maybe stick with the the method that works best for you and reevaluate in a few days.

    I don't know if this helps but I use to persevere with the morning sleep in the cot or on the bed and then do whatever works for the rest of the day.



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    That doesn't mean you are the problem. It means you have an illness that needs sympathy and understanding.



    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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  12. #520
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    Thanks ladies.

    Im so frustrated, I have no idea what im doing wrong - am I misreading his cues?

    Ds had been awake for about an hour & a half, when he became really grizzly & started rubbing his eyes & burying his face & jerky arms. He had a clean nappy so I immediately took him straight to bed & now an hour & a half later im still trying to get him to go down anywhere (tried the cot with no luck, now trying the rocker)

    What am I doing wrong? They were the first cues I saw, he was happy before that.

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