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  1. #511
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    Also how long did you try the laying down on the bed trick to put your son to sleep? It takes 3-5 days to set up a new method or tactic.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  2. #512
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    I can't remember if I've asked you this. What happens if you just don't bother trying to put him to sleep?

    As in, will he pass out if you go for a walk in the pram? Or pass out whilst playing? Or will he cry himself to hysteria?

    My story is that for my first kid I hated being home so I was out all the time. I never bothered with putting my dd1 to bed in her cot. She had a rough routine but slept wherever she passed out, high chair. Pram, car, floor etc.

    Dd2 I made the mistake of always being home for naps and putting her in her cot to sleep. I now have 2 kids, my eldest who will sleep anywhere, any bed, surface, chair etc. And my youngest who will only sleep in her cot at 2.5yo. It's bloody frustrating.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    He doesnt just pass out anywhere mostly. Very occasionally he will. Usually he just doesnt go to sleep & seems to get more & more hyped up until he just suddenly starts screaming & I cant get him to stop

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #513
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    He doesnt just pass out anywhere mostly. Very occasionally he will. Usually he just doesnt go to sleep & seems to get more & more hyped up until he just suddenly starts screaming & I cant get him to stop

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Have you seen a paediatrician or been to sleep school. The behaviours he is exhibiting don't seem healthy, you seem to have tried all kids of methods and none of them are working. It's not healthy for bubs to not sleep at all in the day. R&A is into gentle go with the flow methods which you say don't work, nor do other things you have tried.

    I strongly suggest seeing a paediatrician and not just a GP. If they rule out anything physically wrong you will have to just choose a method and stick to it. Bub is probably so confused, he's not sure even when he's meant to go to sleep. I get the feeling you try something once and if it doesn't work that time, you give up.

    If he's not sleeping at all, you've got nothing to lose by picking a plan and sticking to it. He may cry with anything you try, but babies need consistency and routine and if you stick to the same plan, it will eventually click for him

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  5. #514
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    I will try & take him to a paed but I dont know if there is anything wrong with him, its me. Something is wrong with me. He settles & goes to sleep for dh, he just wont do it for me. Never has, since the day we brought him home. Or if he does its never in his cot (which is problematic at night) & only after a massive battle.

    Im trying to get help. And I try to persevere with the methods. Settling on his side & banging the mattress are new methods I was given & ive tried them every sleep (for at least 30 minutes each time) for a week & a half now with no success.

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    Default Sleep vents

    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    I will try & take him to a paed but I dont know if there is anything wrong with him, its me. Something is wrong with me. He settles & goes to sleep for dh, he just wont do it for me. Never has, since the day we brought him home. Or if he does its never in his cot (which is problematic at night) & only after a massive battle.

    Im trying to get help. And I try to persevere with the methods. Settling on his side & banging the mattress are new methods I was given & ive tried them every sleep (for at least 30 minutes each time) for a week & a half now with no success.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    A paed could at least rule out my medical reasons for his unsettledness

    *edited as my post didn't come across in the right way
    Last edited by A-Squared; 19-11-2014 at 12:24.

  7. #516
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    I will try & take him to a paed but I dont know if there is anything wrong with him, its me. Something is wrong with me. He settles & goes to sleep for dh, he just wont do it for me. Never has, since the day we brought him home. Or if he does its never in his cot (which is problematic at night) & only after a massive battle.

    Im trying to get help. And I try to persevere with the methods. Settling on his side & banging the mattress are new methods I was given & ive tried them every sleep (for at least 30 minutes each time) for a week & a half now with no success.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app


    NO.


    YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM.

    Most children are like this for their mothers. My own are certainly like it for me. If I am around, DD MUST be fed to sleep, and through the night from about 11pm onwards I MUST BE LAYING BESIDE her. If it's DF she will be cuddled to sleep. If it's my Mum she will be patted to sleep.

    THE PROBLEM IS NOT YOU.

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  9. #517
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    Quote Originally Posted by [Mod] Nomsie View Post


    NO.


    YOU ARE NOT THE PROBLEM.

    Most children are like this for their mothers. My own are certainly like it for me. If I am around, DD MUST be fed to sleep, and through the night from about 11pm onwards I MUST BE LAYING BESIDE her. If it's DF she will be cuddled to sleep. If it's my Mum she will be patted to sleep.

    THE PROBLEM IS NOT YOU.


    I so agree 100% it is not you! And anxiety isnt something you can just turn off so please please dont beat yourself up!

    My DS1 never settled for me. Ever. The only way I could get him to sleep half the time was driving in the car, then I was so tired that once he fell asleep I'd have to park under a tree in a park, or in an undercover carpark and I'd nap too. Thank god it wasn't summer. I literally felt like I couldn't do anything right. DH could settle him, get him to sleep, get him to take his reflux meds without a huge fight. I felt like a failure. It wasnt until he started crawling and walking that he tired himself out enough to sleep easily for me.

    Im sorry there isnt a magical way to fix it for you because boy do I understand how hard it is. But please please dont blame yourself. You're a fantastic mother who is going above and beyond for her son. Hugs xo

  10. #518
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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    I will try & take him to a paed but I dont know if there is anything wrong with him, its me. Something is wrong with me. He settles & goes to sleep for dh, he just wont do it for me. Never has, since the day we brought him home. Or if he does its never in his cot (which is problematic at night) & only after a massive battle.

    Im trying to get help. And I try to persevere with the methods. Settling on his side & banging the mattress are new methods I was given & ive tried them every sleep (for at least 30 minutes each time) for a week & a half now with no success.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    YOU are NOT the problem!!!!!! Please remember all of us went thru this crap with our kids.

    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  11. #519
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    Honestly its hard to believe that im not the problem when im constantly getting told that the only reason he wont settle for me is because im stressed & anxious. Even the MCHN told me that.

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  12. #520
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    I hear you sister! Currently we are about a month in to transitioning mr 3 into his big bed. I used to be able to pop him in the cot, read a story, give him a couple of pats and walk out. He would go off to sleep. Now, I try to put him to bed and when I try to walk out, he loses the plot and gets out of bed and carries on until I lose the plot too and plonk him back in the cot then walk out to dh and ask him to sort him out. Usually 10 min later, he's back and mr 3 is either asleep or quiet in bed. It does my head in! Then the other night he had a sleep over and my parents house and went to bed, went off to sleep and then slept through til 7:10am. One of us have been getting into bed with him every freaking night for weeks!!! I feel like I'm being played lol


 

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