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  1. #1
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    Default 21mo bedtime battles!

    We seem to all of a sudden be struggling to get our 21mo DD to go to bed at night without a massive battle.

    We've just come back from holidays and it seems that all this fuss started whilst we were away, she struggled a bit with all the strange places to sleep & out of routine.

    Now that were home, were trying to get back to normality. But putting her to bed is like torture. Initially she is happy to get into the cot & lay down, but as soon as I go to leave the room she gets up & starts crying. She will scream & cry out mummy daddy until she is so worked up & is sweaty & coughing. We go back in & tell her to lay down (dads voice has greater effect...), which she does but as soon as we leave it starts again. We have also tried leaving her to cry it out but she goes for a very long time & gets quite worked up.

    Once she is asleep she sleeps all night. She also is still having a 1-2hr sleep during the day, which is also a little battle but not as much. Usually its around 11.30am but because of our holiday, its lately been around 2pm which I suspect might be effecting her bedtime.

    Were at the point now where we have no choice but to stay in the room until she drifts off, which might be 10mins or 60. She has trained us well! We really don't want to do this every night.

    What should we do? Any other techniques we could try?
    Last edited by Snooze; 02-01-2014 at 21:10.

  2. #2
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    Honestly I can't do the 'cry it out' at any age. I would continue to pat/shh /sit by until she is asleep and then slowly reduce the contact / distance until you can leave her.
    I still sit with my 4 year old!

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  4. #3
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    We have to sit with our 22mth old until she is asleep - just on a chair in her room. Some nights it is 5min, some 40 - it's a pain but otherwise she screams and I hate that.

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  6. #4
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    Does anyone have any other suggestions?

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    Hi firstly it's not your fault and it's nothing you're doing right or wrong. My DS did a very similar thing about the same age a few months back. It sucks. We tried everything, he is not the type to be patted or shushed and if we're in the room this upsets him more than calms him. When we'd leave him he would also get really worked up - the kid has stamina.

    We found that we would do his regular routine, down to bed and after he started screaming we got him up again - no tv, no lights, no talking, no eye contact and just sat with him on the couch with eyes closed. It took a few nights but he gradually understood that not much was going on. We still have out battles but he has grime out of it mostly.

    Try to ride it out as best you can, it's trial and error and changes all the time. It will pass!

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    Have you tried reading a book or two with her in bed so she relaxes into sleep without stress.

    We either cuddle with or lie with our children for a bedtime story until they fall asleep. Instead of feeling frustrated by it I enjoy the quiet cuddle with them.

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    We've have just had the same thing with our 21 month old dd, we're now keeping her up half an hour later, so bed time isn't till 7:45-8pm. It's not ideal but it's better than having to sit in her room with her for a hour! We haven't had any problems for the last week or so.

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    Thanks for the suggestions everyone.

    We have been trying to give her a consistent routine hoping that she will get back to how it used to be. But its not working. Last night was horrendous! She fought bedtime for over an hour, crying hysterically when we left the room. We let her cry it out for a while. In the end hubby had to stand at the end of her cot. Then she woke during the night which is unusual for her, crying hysterically again. We couldn't settle her & I needed to get to sleep as I work, so hubby ended up sleeping in her room.

    So I feel its getting worse, not better. Getting desperate, not sure what to do! It's like she has a fear of being left alone or something. Ahh joy...

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    We had this trouble recently with DS who is 28 months (due to 2 yr old molar teething) and have just had to ride it out with sitting in the room for a couple of weeks. Then we started leaving the door open and would tell DS we were just outside in the kitchen (his room is right next to the kitchen) and will do the washing up so he can hear us, he is usually asleep by time we finish. Occasionally I will have to go in and tell him to lay down or I will shut the door. If he doesn't lay down I will shut the door for a few minutes so he knows I'm serious. That usually gets him to lay down and go to sleep. If you can get her daytime nap to start at 12.30/1pm that might help too.
    Last edited by WiseOldOwl; 06-01-2014 at 10:02.

  12. #10
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    Have you thought about cosleeping? When our 23m old is like that, I lay him to sleep between Dh and I. He settles right away. If I wake during the night and he's in a deep sleep, I move him back into his cot.

    Also try a night light?


 

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