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  1. #11
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    You don't have to decide now. You can decide that you want to try and go from there. I agree it's a purely individual experience and our own stories won't (and shouldn't) affect your decision in the end. But, to answer your question, I think it's important to balance what you think your baby needs with what your needs are and what you can cope with at the time.

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    As someone who is going through challenging times with a newborn - take each FEED at a time! Some will be successful, others not so much, but each time you are one step closer to overcoming whatever issue you are dealing with.

    There is loads of support available, use it, read up on it (i didnt!) and find an LC you can work with and build a relationship with. Otherwise you get conflicting advice.

    Don't be afraid to express or top up with ff if you need to. Whatever gets you through those frantic moments. Then you can approach the next feed a little calmer.

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    Not intending to dissuade you, but I'm nearly 4 mths in and breastfeeding is still a challenge. I expected to turn a corner at 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 12 weeks, but it never came. I have painful feeds daily (it's a rare pleasant surprise when I have a painless feed). I have had various treatments and techniques, tried changing breastfeeding position, and seen doctors and an LC, and despite wanting to give up, I've been stubborn and persevered. My goal was to EBF 1 year, now it's 6 months so I think you can always see how things go and reassess your situation as it comes. Formula is not evil, and if you have to mixed feed or switch over, so be it.

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    That's a hard question to answer as everyone has a different breastfeeding journey. So many factors contribute to the final answer, but like all the mums on here, you'll do what's best for baby and you. I had difficulties breastfeeding and had internal battles going on everyday, but then i got lucky and bub made the decision for me. He latched on perfectly and had a brilliant feed after weeks and weeks of trying, and we never looked back. As mentioned above, try not to think about it until you need to. One of the biggest lessons I've learnt in breastfeeding is to try and relax (I was very stressed trying to breastfeed so I didn't get let down and had all sorts of problems). I know by experience it's easier said then done when your in excruciating pain, so what I mean is, try not to stress now if you don't have to
    Last edited by Koarlo; 01-01-2014 at 22:28.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Emmakin View Post
    Don't decide. Take each day as it comes. In my opinion breastfeeding takes determination. Often problems can be sorted with advice from an IBCLC or the ABA
    Not always. I was determined and thats why i put up with agony and ongoing problems for 3 months before i gave up. Lac consultants said i was doing everything right.

    They say it takes a good 6 weeks to establish bf so that would be my first goal and see how u are going then.

    Dont let anyone make you feel guilty if you do switch to formula. On here or in real life. Do whats best for you and bubs in YOUR situation. Be positive you may have a nice smooth ride All the best xxx

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    I agree with everyone. Don't decide now, see how you go. BF took me by surprise how easy it went for me and how much I loved it (I wasn't convinced I wanted to BF!).

    It was an easy process for us and got very natural and pain free from 1 week onwards.

    First and foremost I think you need to WANT to BF for your baby but also for yourself. If you don't like it for whatever reason FF is great too

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    Quote Originally Posted by Piyamj View Post
    Not intending to dissuade you, but I'm nearly 4 mths in and breastfeeding is still a challenge. I expected to turn a corner at 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 12 weeks, but it never came. I have painful feeds daily (it's a rare pleasant surprise when I have a painless feed). I have had various treatments and techniques, tried changing breastfeeding position, and seen doctors and an LC, and despite wanting to give up, I've been stubborn and persevered. My goal was to EBF 1 year, now it's 6 months so I think you can always see how things go and reassess your situation as it comes. Formula is not evil, and if you have to mixed feed or switch over, so be it.
    Has bub been checked for tongue and/or lip ties?

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    It's really hard finding a balance between the horror stories and aspirational tales isn't it?

    My experience was that it got very tough for a few days then progressively easier. So while you're taking it day by day, remember that it won't always be like it is on a particular day. Most posters have avoided giving you a number but I'd say give it a few weeks if you can, and remember that you can supplement with formula while you build supply if need be.

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    See how you go and don't plan ahead to far. Just keep an open mind. You might find BF easy, or a little difficult, or it could not work at all, and whatever way you end up feeding your baby will be fine. I struggled BFing for 6 weeks, then switched to FF (I hate the term "gave up!"). In the end I was a happier mum when feeding wasn't a struggle, so FF worked best for us.

    With my next bub I'm going to give BF another try, but I won't be torturing myself for weeks if its not working.

    And remember you don't need anyone's permission to give your bub a bottle of formula if that's what you want/need to do. I remember feeling like I'd be letting everyone down if I did (Bub, my MCHN, my lactation consultant, my husband etc). Don't feel pressured to persist if its not working.

    But having said that, you might be just fine! Good luck and ENJOY that delicious baby!

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    As PPs have said, just take it one day at a time. Going to your local ABA is a good start.

    When you have bubs, make sure you utilise your midwives as much as possible to help you out with attachment, and see a lactation consultant if you're having difficulties. BF should be comfortable, but in saying that your nipples are likely to be tender and sensitive, at least for the first week or so. It's very important that attachment is correct from the beginning to minimize the damage to your nipples. Also, if your hospital has a BF class on the postnatal ward - go to it, it can only help to ensure you're doing all the right things!

    The questions I would be asking is do you truly want to BF? I am pro BF and would like to think everyone give it a chance before deciding it's not for them, but at the same time if you don't really want to BF to begin with, there's no point pretending you do. Some women clearly want to bottle feed but feel pressured to BF, either by family, friends, hospital, society etc. If you're wanting to bottle feed, don't feel pressured by anyone to BF. You'll save yourself and your midwives a lot of time and effort. I'm not saying that's what you're doing at all, just a professional observation of women I've cared for

    Good luck, and I hope your BF journey is a successful one. Linking in with ABA is a great place to start. There are also lactation consultants in the community you can link in with for further antenatal education if you want, plus they can follow you up at home once you've had bubs to make sure you're going ok.

    Don't plan for things to go wrong! If you go in expecting things will be horrible and go wrong you'll just stress yourself out. One big tip for successful BF is to RELAX! Babies can sense your stress and anxiety and it makes them more fussy and harder to get on.


 

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