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  1. #21
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    This isn't at you personally but I think it's a no win situation. Once you tell people you are ttc I find it odd that people then get upset about being asked about being pregnant. I figure you only tell your close friends that you are ttc so why not then tell them, even before 12 wks, regardless of what happens they will support you. It's like opening the door then shutting it in their face. Similarly I would imagine people would be upset if it was known you were ttc but no one asked how it was going, they could be accused of not showing enough interest.

    It doesn't sound like they are being nosey, probably think they are doing the right thing by asking. Anyway not a go at you, just my observations from being faced with it irl.

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  3. #22
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    I find it odd that you are upset. They sound like excited friends who are wanting to share your joy.

    If they are good friends just say, I will let you know as soon as we are ready to announce it, please stop asking us.




    Married to my soul mate, Mummy to one beautiful little girl, wishing for a little boy to complete our family.

  4. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    If you are close enough to someone to tell them you are trying for a baby then you become sick and not attend events of course they will ask.
    What kind of a friend would ignore that.
    Its common sense and I don't see it as rude at all.
    Its excitement and concern for you (especially if you are missing events)

    OP if you don't want to tell them just say you are unsure or something but don't get frustrated over them asking it's human nature and pretty obvious.
    I didn't say it was rude? I said that most people I have encountered keep it a secret until 12 weeks regardless of whether people know they are ttc or not. It is inevitable that people will ask.

    As for "what kind of a friend" would ignore that, not everyone would find it appropriate to ask that, even of a close friend. I have select friends I would consider asking, but for the most part I would not ask at all. I would just suspect it quietly and wait for the time that they were comfortable to tell me.

  5. #24
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    I think you planted the "excitement" seed when you told your friends you were ttc, of course they are going to be looking for signs & asking if your pg, especially if you are the first one out of the group to be pregnant.

    I honestly think your friends are just excited for you & it's a little strange that your unhappy about that. You have clearly already shared a fair bit of your ttc journey, why not share the good news earlier? As someone who has suffered repeat mc's I understand your reservations, mc's are difficult no matter what path you choose. At least if you tell them you get to share the excitement, sounds like when you do announce it you'll get "oh, we already guessed" & no excitement just annoyance.

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by risfaerie View Post
    I didn't say it was rude? I said that most people I have encountered keep it a secret until 12 weeks regardless of whether people know they are ttc or not. It is inevitable that people will ask.

    As for "what kind of a friend" would ignore that, not everyone would find it appropriate to ask that, even of a close friend. I have select friends I would consider asking, but for the most part I would not ask at all. I would just suspect it quietly and wait for the time that they were comfortable to tell me.
    I find it odd that someone would find it inappropriate to ask but appropriate to tell someone you and your husband are trying to have a baby. I presume when telling someone you are TTC it's in some type of a coversation probably a personal one. I would find it awkward to have a person be close enough to me to trust me with such intimate details and then they miss events and are sick and I'm supposed to do what? Ignore it? Play dumb? I would find that inappropriate.
    I wouldn't feel like a good friend I would want to know if they are ok, if they need anything or maybe spend time with them where there is no alcohol enviroment maybe talk about morning sickness and reassure them etc.

    But I guess each to their own. Hopefully I'm not in that position cause I straight out ask...lol then buy Ice cream and talk about all the cool baby shopping.

  7. #26
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    Just cheekily reply with "Even if I was, you wouldn't know until we're ready to announce it" or something to that effect.. By now they've probably figured it out but a light hearted reminder that it's your news to announce when you're ready won't hurt..

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  9. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by risfaerie View Post
    Oh, of course not. The minute you refuse a piece of cheese or mention that you don't feel well, the questions will begin. Even if people don't know you are TTC, in my experience!
    First rule when trying to hide a pregnancy : NEVER EVER refuse cheese/wine or whatever. Just take it and don't drink/eat it. Simple
    Refusing something always raise suspicion, whereas people don't really watch closely to see whether you are actually drinking it. ;-)

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  11. #28
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    Ok, the reason they know we were ttc is because we just got married and they asked if we were going to wait to try or start right away. And I was honest in my answer. It's not like I ran to them and openly disclosed that news.

    And like I've already said a few times, I have told them we will tell people at 12wks and not before. If any friend of mine was ttc but said they wouldn't share the news till 12wks, I would NEVER then ask them when they made their wishes clear.

  12. #29
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    OP I understand why you are upset.

    Before I had my own baby I would totally ask friends straight out if they were pregnant. One friend told us one night at a bar that she had stopped smoking and going to biker am yoga. She also just ordered a sparkling water. Well we were at her for the next 8 weeks... Not cool but didn't realize it wasn't cool until I got pregnant myself :-/

    I would not ask going fwd and would wait for the announcement.

  13. #30
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    I hate that feeling where you have to not tell the whole truth. I had a friend asking around the actual question when I was only a few weeks along, and I knew she'd been trying and it was so hard to talk about, because I didn't want to upset her, but I also didn't want to say quite so early.

    I think it's a bit rude if they're asking point blank when they know already that you won't divulge until after!


 

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