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  1. #1
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    Default Why is it always US having to visit YOU?!

    Right! I'm hiding in the spare bedroom at the inlaws, breastfeeding our 8 week old and just FUMING.

    We travelled back to our home town to visit for Xmas, and ever since being here, DH and MIL expect us to be the ones to visit people who want to meet our LO.

    LO is a stickler for her routine, and if she misses a nap, she becomes demon baby and the rest if the day is just a write off.
    Plus for me to BF I need to be relaxed and comfortable in a quiet room.. Something I can't do at at unknown houses just yet. And I'm the one who has to calm down LO once she loses it from being overtired.

    Why does it have to be us travelling to see them? Packing our baby into the damn hot car, to drive to others houses, after we have already driven 4 hours to be here in the first place? Am I being unreasonable?

    DH just said to me: 'oh can we at least go and see so-and-so? They just live around the corner!'
    Yep. And we are also 'only around the corner' from them.

    God. I'm going to lose it soon! I've told DH my reasoning, tries being tactful, and he said we can't be holed up at home all holidays. No, fair enough, but when we leave the house, is like to pick outings which I enjoy, planned, and feel comfortable doing.

    Rant over.. For now..

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    I think they should come to you. Have a gathering on one day then they can all meet bub.

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    Gothel  (22-12-2013)

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    I don't think it's that unreasonable for people to come to you. Especially if you far already driven so far to be in that town.



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    Quote Originally Posted by alexis243 View Post
    Right! I'm hiding in the spare bedroom at the inlaws, breastfeeding our 8 week old and just FUMING.

    We travelled back to our home town to visit for Xmas, and ever since being here, DH and MIL expect us to be the ones to visit people who want to meet our LO.

    LO is a stickler for her routine, and if she misses a nap, she becomes demon baby and the rest if the day is just a write off.
    Plus for me to BF I need to be relaxed and comfortable in a quiet room.. Something I can't do at at unknown houses just yet. And I'm the one who has to calm down LO once she loses it from being overtired.

    Why does it have to be us travelling to see them? Packing our baby into the damn hot car, to drive to others houses, after we have already driven 4 hours to be here in the first place? Am I being unreasonable?

    DH just said to me: 'oh can we at least go and see so-and-so? They just live around the corner!'
    Yep. And we are also 'only around the corner' from them.

    God. I'm going to lose it soon! I've told DH my reasoning, tries being tactful, and he said we can't be holed up at home all holidays. No, fair enough, but when we leave the house, is like to pick outings which I enjoy, planned, and feel comfortable doing.

    Rant over.. For now..
    I 100% agree with you. Maybe you could send hubby visiting by himself ?

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    Bubbles10  (22-12-2013)

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    Can you suggest an afternoon tea and invite everyone to that? Then you can spend the rest of the time actually having a holiday.

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    alexis243  (21-12-2013),haveheart  (22-12-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by abibelsmum View Post
    Can you suggest an afternoon tea and invite everyone to that? Then you can spend the rest of the time actually having a holiday.
    Unfortunately not, I had thought of that, but attempts to organize it failed miserably. Perhaps I just need to ditch the high maintenance, rude and difficult friends and family!

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    An hellz yes they should come to you. Just put your foot down - seriously not on. It is 100 times easier for friends to come to you then you to go to them.

    Maybe tell your inlaws you need o be comfortable to BFand you think it may be effecting your supply.

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    DH and I have always worked on the "it's your parents, you deal with them" principle. So if I were you, I'd have a chat to your DH telling him just what you've said here (not in an aggro or accusing way, but just a genuine, I think this is unfair and it's making life difficult for me and bub sort of way) and ask him to please let his parent know that you would both like visitors to come to you rather than the other way around.

    I don't think that's unreasonable at all. Good luck xx

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    Oh, I just re-read your OP and it sounds like you've already tried the above. I'd tell DH that if it's *just* around the corner, then you can feed bub and he can take bubby on his own for a visit. On the proviso that he does the settling when he returns. Maybe then he'll appreciate where you're coming from?

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    Hmmmm was going to suggest the afternoon tea or equivalent as well but obviously not.

    What about saying for example Sunday is a day at home (at the in laws) day, no visiting anyone. (If they want to come to you perhaps, but even then maybe no visitors at all?) Then Monday is a day to go out visiting everyone day. Then alternate it. Even when you're in your own home you need 'home' days.

    I know this is a bit mean but every time your LO cracks it whilst out hand them over to DH to soothe. Either he is going to learn to soothe or he is going to find out how stressful it is, or hopefully both my DH can't stand our 4 month old crying, so when he has had enough I hand him over to DH so he gets the msg that it's time to go home now. He's getting better about where it is ok to take DS and where is too stressful.

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    mrswhitehouse  (22-12-2013)


 

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