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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default Please help, discipline for rudeness back answering etc?

    I am at my wits end with my 5 year old. He has a very explosive personality and changes moods very quickly. I am losing my temper more and more and really not dealing well with his behaviour. I find myself constantly cranky at him.
    I know it's his age but he ca be so obnoxious and I have no idea how to deal with it? I have resorted to smacking sometimes, which I really don't like I'm not sure what else to do? Thing like mimicking me when I'm telling him how to behave or to stop doing something, and just generally being a smart Alec with everything we ask him to do. Every little thing is a fight where he ends up in his room or getting a smack. Even just getting dressed, packing away toys etc. I find myself constantly yelling or he just first listen.

    After some coping ideas/disciplining ideas before I go crazy. He is an angel at prechool, it's only ever for daddy and I.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    ignoring is good if you can do it but how bout a reward chart for good behaviour? Decide with him what to put on it and what the reward is... or you could start with say 5 stars a day and every time is back chats or is naughty etc, a star is taken off ... ask him what behaviour he thinks is acceptable.. get him to have some input and take responsibility for his actions and behaviours... he is old enough... what does he enjoy doing? work with his interests.. perhaps give him a chore to do every day to earn an extra star... pick a time of day that the toys need to be put away and stick to it.. make it a game, tell him you will time how long it takes him to pack up his toys,write it down and challenge him to make it quicker the next time... distract him from bad behaviours... good luck xxx

  3. #3
    lexim's Avatar
    lexim is offline Winner 2013 - Newbie of the Year
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Mines a little younger - 4 but I occasionally get the answering back/talking rudely eg get me a drink instead of asking nicely.

    I ignore him and if he continues talking the way he does I just say "I don't listen to rude talking"
    In the end he eventually stops the behaviour or asks nicely.
    Then when he does I tell him that he's a good boy for talking nicely and I try to explain to him that when he talks rudely then he doesn't get anything - rather than just ignoring it completely, he needs to know the behaviour is unacceptable.
    I find the more I yell then the more he mimmicks me.

    Minor bad behaviour (not listening, being rude etc) he gets put in the corner if he refuses to change his behaviour. Then when he comes out I explain why he was there, he apologises and we move on.

    Bad behaviour (hitting, biting etc) which is very rare then he gets his fav toy taken away all day and had to go in the corner. Same thing when he comes out explain why he's there, apology etc

    I always try to give praise door good behaviour and focus more on that.
    I like the idea of a star chart.

    We use a technique at the moment. He has a little jar and I have a tin of marbles. He does little jobs like - putting away his toys, attempting to make his bed, brushing teeth, getting dressed, helping with the animals, clearing the table etc all easy stuff.
    When he does a job then he gets to put a marble in the jar - he gets 1 for easy stuff like teeth, getting dressed and 2 or 3 depending on the 'difficulty' of the other jobs.
    When his jar is full I have a 'good boy box' full of things like stickers, lollies, bubbles, $2 shop toys and he can choose something out of it.
    It's working great as he just helps out or gets himself dressed now. Sometimes he will want to do heaps of jobs so I just keep giving him jobs and sometimes he doesn't do any.
    He also gets 2 marbles at the end of the day if he's been a good boy ALL day

    As he gets older I'm going to make a chart of little jobs he can go with the amount if marbles he gets.

    I got the idea from a magazine and she had 5 kids and when they filled their jars they either got $10, a trip to the movies or have a friend for a sleepover.

    DH, Me and our two boys.
    Lost our little squirt 20/11/13.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Adelaide SA
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Have a look into 1 2 3 magic. See if you can borrow it from your library. There is also a DVD.
    I have only read half of the book, but we have used it a bit over the last few months with good effect.
    The time out essentially is time to change direction etc. I like the concept of keeping calm through it, not discussing etc.
    I think of used correctly it is really effective.


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